I am writing this on the night before we move. Tonight I sat and rocked my son before bed in the only room he’s ever known. I remember decorating the room waiting for his arrival. Captain Awesome painted and put the pretty vinyl tree on the wall. And now, all of his things are going to be moved out, and soon that room will be someone else’s. I can’t believe we are moving. I know I have waited for this day for so long, but all I can do is cry about it. It’s all so bitter sweet and I know I won’t fully wrap my head around it for a while. But the truth is that this is no longer our home, and we finally have to move out our things.

It’s funny all the little things I am remembering from this house. I put together a video montage of wonderful things that happened here, and the other night we had a final going away party here (yes, we threw a party two days before we had to move out but that’s how we roll). In those pictures I saw our second bedroom before it was our sons. It seems so long ago. I saw decorations and shelves that had to be removed once our little guy was on the move, and I saw the pre mommy me partying like a rock star. We certainly had some great parties here. And now it’s all over.

We are having the movers pack us up so as I sit here this house still looks like mine. Pictures are still on the wall, toys are on the floor and everything is as it should be. But once those movers arrive things will begin to change. Our things will go in boxes and our furniture will be moved out. After all that we will have to hand over the keys to someone else and close the door. I am not sure how I will get through that.

Tonight our amazing neighbors came by to say goodbye and I just cried. I doubt we will ever get so lucky again to have such great neighbors. I don’t do well with change. The unknown terrifies me. This move is what I wanted, but what did I get myself into? As we close the door for the last time we are walking into so many new things. I know it’s all good things. I promise I am super excited for what is to come. But it’s all bitter sweet right now. I think it’s OK for me to mourn what I am leaving behind. So many wonderful and happy things happened in this home, and it will always hold a special place in my heart.

So goodbye dear home….you will be missed!