We are still…of course…on the house hunt. I wish I could pass on news that we are in contract, but I can’t. The process is very slow, and it is what it is no matter how frustrating. Even though we can’t make any real moves on a house until we are in contract, we are still actively searching. I thought that I have figured out which town I wanted to live in, but my mind keeps drifting to the feeling that I am settling. Why don’t I get the big house? I found a great house in a not so great town and spoke to my realtor hoping she’d tell me it was OK…instead she told me that buying that house would be like wearing a fake diamond ring. It may look pretty on the outside, but overall it’s not right. Who knew?
I should’ve been prepared for this knowing the area I live in, but it’s frustrating. I decided to branch out my search to other towns (which I won’t mention just in case I offend anyone…) and found a house that felt like home the moment I walked into it. It was perfect! What wasn’t perfect was the town it was in. I have been doing my best to rationalize why it would be OK to move there, and I just can’t. The only thing I came up with is buying it knowing our kids would have to go to private school. It’s not horrible, but how do you buy a house like that in the suburbs. I mean the taxes are still high!
Then the argument comes up…why not move after 7 years or so. The answer? We might move after 7 years, but how do we buy a house KNOWING that we HAVE to move? We already live in our starter house. I feel like my next home needs to feel like that…a home…not a “for now” house like this one. Plus, if I put all that time and effort into building a life in that town…will I really want to leave it?
It seems here in Long Island there is a direct correlation between good towns and very high prices. I hate to be drinking the Long Island Koolaid where people believe it’s OK to pay 500K for a fixer upper just because they feel they are in the “right district”. Isn’t there a happy medium with an OK district? Not really. Long Island is filled with have and have not’s. It seems there really is no choice but to drink said Koolaid??
I can’t believe at this point in my life I am forced to think so far ahead. Can’t I be selfish now and buy that big house? Go for the fake diamond? Maybe everything will get better over the next 7 years? Or maybe I just need to grow up, suck it up and accept that to live on Long Island I am for now destined to pay a large sum of money for a nice “quaint” (read small) home that is still tremendously dated. I also should be like everyone else who lives here and be thankful for the privilege to raise my family here…the problem??? I don’t feel that way.
I’ve been through the pro’s and con’s of where to live. To get my big house (Not the fake diamond house) I have to give my husband a long commute to work. I don’t want that and neither does he. A big house isn’t worth not having him be there as much as he wants for his son. As a matter of fact I am so happy and blessed that he wants to do so much for him and me, and that his job allows him to be.
Until we sign the papers on a new house I will admit that I probably will still think about the fake diamond house. I probably will drive myself crazy thinking about how much more I could get if we moved away from here. I think I will always resent this place, and I am upset because I thought I had come to accept it. I guess buying a home brought up all those old feelings of hatred for here. I am sure it will pass again….I was actually happy these past 5 years of living here. Let’s hope I get there again…
Stop thinking about the fake diamond house. While I have no issues with fake diamonds as jewelry-I actually think they are a much better idea than real ones-I do have a problem with a poorly located house.
Think about it-location is the ONE thing you truly can’t change. You can remodel, you can even add on-but you can’t pick a house up and move it somewhere else. And sometimes you really, really want to.
Our first home was a beautiful house at a great price-in downtown Allentown. We lived there for 18 months before putting it on the market again. A year and a half-that’s it. It wasn’t in a good area and there wasn’t anything we could do about that. So we moved to a small fixer-upper and five years later it is all fixed up. Trust me-you don’t want to compromise on location. I promise. I’d rather have small and in need of work in a good area than large and flashy somewhere I don’t feel comfortable.
Just really stinks to pay Alot MORE for the small fixer upper. I am fine with that…but to pay so much kills me! I think 500K is alot of money…but to pay that and know it still needs to be fixed up??? OUCH! But I know you are right…location, location, location right? Stupid LI!
You could move back here. They are practically giving away houses since the market crashed…sigh…
If it makes you feel any better, we bought our house in 2008 for $250K. Six months later-SIX MONTHS LATER-after maybe $30K in renovations, it was appraised at…$180.
I cried. Stupid housing market.
ugh! That’s horrible! I would cry too…luckily the house we are selling isn’t on the open market so it went up in price…I certainly feel lucky about that because I think alot of people are in your position! ? at least you plan on staying!
Speaking as someone who lives in one of your less desirable towns (you can’t fool me!), as much as you’re looking towards the future with the “why buy knowing I have to sell argument” you’re not taking into consideration growing out of the smaller home. If you do have more children and with your family visiting you’re going to feel like you’ve outgrown that home within 2-3 years.
We bought our house with the idea that it was going to be large enough for our family and my parents and siblings when they came to visit. We’re now in a position where we’ll be putting people on a futon in my office, a pullout in our sons room and on the couch which is hardly what we had thought was going to happen so soon. I was on a boat with one of our mutual friends this weekend and he was commenting that the house he bought was already too small for them as well. He was lamenting that he thought his options were to buy a new house or to put a 2nd floor on top.
Ultimately you need to accept that there are only a lucky few who are getting their dream home at this point in their lives that live in the bubble. You’re either going to be buying a new one down the road or adding to the one you’ve got.
Agreed on many levels, and like I said, I wasn’t talking about you ? It’s not about desirable and not desirable…it’s about what works for the family. There will never be a house big enough for you entire family to come stay, and 5 bedroom houses don’t seem to be readily available. That being said, I don’t want to move to a town and have to leave it. As it is, over the last year I have met moms and am trying to build “mommy friends”, I don’t want to do that again in 7 years? My life is the town I live in. I don’t leave and go to work. I need to like the town as much as the house. Over thinking? Probably…but what can you do?