Tonight, as I sit in my family room, watching my favorite shows, I look around and realize how much I actually do love my home. It’s comfortable, and it’s the place where my family began. Then I shake my head, and remember how much I need a new home with a yard for my son. Every day we go outside here, I am reminded how much it doesn’t work here. I am constantly scared he will trip on a curb, or run into the street. He needs a place to roam. But each night I forget all that. All I can think about is how great my home really is….Is being scared a reason to stay?

Our home search has hit a major stall because of the tremendous red tape involved in selling it. It was an amazing opportunity when we bought, and amazing place to live, but selling it is more of a process than we wanted. Either way, we are at a stand still. No sellers want to listen to our offers until we are in contract, and we can’t get into contract with our buyer until the not for profit that is in charge of selling our place approves our buyer. It is a long process indeed. Therefore we wait…

While I wait I go back and forth on how great this home really is. Maybe it’s because I am terrified of moving. Each home I look at I second guess myself. Even when I believe it’s perfect. Will it ever be perfect? They say you FEEL your home…but happens if you FEEL it…then lose it? What if the one you FEEL you can’t afford? Do you settle? When it comes to a home will you ever really settle? Or…will it become the home of your dreams because it is in fact your home? How do you know? Will I know what is right?

I am terrified of what’s ahead of me. Change sucks in my book. I have never been good with it. Now, a major change is looming and all I want to do is run towards what I know. What is comfortable. Only problem? Soon enough someone else will own this home. I know it’s best, and I know it’s what I really want. So I have to step away from the ledge and move forward. Being scared is not reason to slow down. Right????