I was surfing around Pinterest the other day, and I kept seeing all these beautiful beaches and locations that I could only dream about visiting. Then I reminded myself that maybe someday I really could go a fantastic beach getaway. It would be MARVELOUS! Then I thought about it a little more….would I ever REALLY get to enjoy a “relaxing” vacation again? As a mom can I ever really “get away”? Will a vacation every feel like it used to ever again?

I am not ready to leave our son for a period of time longer than 1 night at this point. I’ve only done it one time, and I am not rushing to do it again right now. The Captain and I really need some “us” time, so I am mentally preparing myself for a two night trip I am planning in early summer. I have signed my parents up as babysitters, and I am booking it. We really need some time away. I am hoping by then I will feel ready to get away. Even if not, then I am sure once I get there all will be good. But I know that my son will always be on my mind. What is he doing? Is he fine with out me? Most of all I will miss him. Heck I even miss him after I put him to bed at night!

Then I begin to think about our future trips. The bigger ones. The ones that include a plane flight. If it’s just Captain Awesome and I lounging on the beach will I ever be able to fully relax? Will my mind ever truly be able to drift away into margaritaville like it used to? Even if I am dying to get away, I have a sinking feeling the answer is no. I never will be able to truly forget my life back home like I used to.

I am looking forward to taking vacations with my son also, but again I am fully aware that it will never actually be a vacation. Even if it is at the beach I can’t get lost in a book, or sip cocktails till I fall asleep. Not any more. My son will need my full attention. Sure, maybe The Captain and I will get a nice dinner out if we are lucky enough to travel with the Grandparents, but it will never be the same.

I am so thankful that I got to travel so much pre having kids. The Captain and I went away many times and enjoyed every second of it. It’s just weird to think how different it will all be from now on.

Do you agree? Will my vacations forever be changed?