Goodnight my little boy on the night before you turn four. I just finished putting you to bed and it was hard. I didn’t think it would be, but it was. See, tonight you cried….sobbed actually because you said you want to still be three and a half and don’t want to be four. See little man I don’t want you to grow up either. So you know what? I cried too.Yes, I know moms are supposed to be strong and not show you that they cry but I did. I’m not sure you noticed though..but my heart broke. You are the sweetest little boy and I was sad just thinking of the fact that tomorrow you’d be another year older. Where does time go?

We laid in your bed like we always do. This time your book of choice was “how the Grinch stole Christmas”. Your sister was about to lose it but she stayed calm and allowed me to be with you. We read, and then I sang “turtle power” like I always do. We talked about your birthday and I saw tears in your eyes. Don’t worry I had them in mine too. I really thought I would get through this birthday with ease but I guess not. Then I said “this is the last night you will be three” and you broke down. You kept repeating “the last night!?” . and although I had tears I kept trying to tell you how great four will be, but you threw your arms around my neck and sobbed. At this point I had to excuse myself and called your daddy. I thought he would be strong but not…it was hard on him too. He tried to talk you down and it kind of worked. We agreed to see how you felt in the morning. That seems to have worked because you went to sleep.

I don’t know what this year will bring us, but I know I can’t wait to share it with you. I have watched you grow into the sweetest little boy. I will tell you more about the three’s when I write your “dear Christian” post, but I can say I can’t believe another year has passed. I can promise you one thing though…no matter how big you get you will always be my little boy, so when you cry and tell me you don’t want to grow up I can promise that in my eyes you never will. I love you