Have you ever just wanted to smack yourself up side the head and say “pull it together man!” . These days I want to. It’s no secret that this winter is bringing me down and I find myself wishing for days to pass quicker. But then I stop and think about what people say. The “enjoy them while they are young” thing. The “it will be over before you know” thing and I get mad. …I get mad at myself because it’s true. I know it is. It’s flying and to be honest I don’t want it to be over, but some days I am so tired and frustrated with my day that I find myself wishing for it to be over. Some days bedtime can’t come fast enough and then I think….stop….breath….and relax. They are only young once and soon you will be wishing for these days back. There is nothing else I would rather be doing with my day, so I get frustrated.
Mom’s out there will tell me to give myself a break….that being a mom, especially one with a newborn is hard. It is. I’m so tired. Both kids want and need all my attention and I really strive to give 100% of myself to them every day. Maybe I expect too much of myself? Sometimes the day ends and I think…”boy I wish I did this with my son…or I wish I did that with my daughter”. I should go outside more, or play more games. I should try to teach my son things and turn the TV off more…but I don’t. We are so very busy that at the end of the day I feel it’s all a blur.
Maybe enjoying every day is a goal that is just hard too reach. Maybe the people who tell you to “enjoy it, it goes by so fast” forget what the day to day life was like. I look back an try to think of my day with my son as a newborn and all I can remember are good things. I think we are meant to forget the hard times. All I remember is enjoying my days so much, and I know that wasn’t true. It couldn’t be. I am hoping that the change in the weather will bring positive things. Maybe my brain is in such need of fresh air!
No matter what happens I feel lucky to be with my little ones every day. That is why I am so frustrated when I get down. Who’s luckier than me? I am blessed and need to be grateful for it, and I am. I get this gift every day, and want to cherish it all. In the blink of an eye they will be grown up.