I am having a hard time describing how I feel about selling my home. As a matter of fact, I am going through so many emotions at this point that I don’t even truly know how I feel. There comes a point when it’s time to move on and build your life elsewhere, but even though I know the time is now, I am finding it hard to accept the fact that soon I will be leaving the home that started my family. It’s only been almost 5 years…but so much has happened in those 5  years, and now that the time is up, and we need to move to the next stage of our home life. I am left feeling sad for what I am leaving, yet excited for what is ahead…am I making the right choice?

I take that back…I know it’s time for us to leave. Although we could live here a little longer, I honestly feel that my son needs so much more out of his home. The biggest being a yard. He loves the outside and I need to know he has a yard to call his own. Beyond that I am terrified to go. Every day I look online at homes and wonder…which house is going to be “the one” that I build my life in? Five years of my life has been spent in this home. In this home I got married, was a newlywed, had my son, and cherished his first year of life. Nothing can ever replace that. This home will always be the place where my married life began.

Now, it seems we have a few buyers for our house, and soon enough the papers will be signed and we will be on to our next place. I am trying hard not to think of someone else living here, and the fact that soon we actually will have to move out. If I think too much about that I never will leave. For now it’s all in theory. But as of next week we can move forward with our buyers and that means it won’t be long for the papers to be signed to someone else. Soon it will be time for another person to make a home out of this wonderful place.

My neighbors are absolutely amazing. I am not sure I will ever encounter another group of people who make a neighborhood so inviting. If you can picture what a neighborhood should be about, that is exactly what I have here, and that is exactly what I am leaving. That will be one of the hardest things about selling…leaving these people behind.

I have written before about being scared of what comes next. I am always scared of “what comes next” but buying a home is the epitome of this fear. How will I know the right place?? And if I find it, will the dollars and cents work out? Can I accept that if it doesn’t work out that it “wasn’t meant to be”? Or will I cry at night over the lost houses? I guess only time will tell.

I am not sure I am cut out for the unknown. I have always known this, but I am facing it yet again. The feelings I am having right now are reminiscent of the days when I worried that I would never be a mom. It’s a feeling that although scary feels somewhat familiar. I have a  lot of doubt and fear. I guess it’s natural when it comes to something so significant in your life. And not much more can be as significant as buying a home….

The end is near my friends. Soon…contracts will be signed and the home I know will be no more. It will be just walls and memories. Wonderful memories that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Now, I can only hope that it all runs smoothly and I end up where I am supposed to…fingers crossed right?