Well it’s official! A moment that I couldn’t even fathom would ever be here…one that makes me feel sad and extremely emotional is here. I’m not going to lie. I’m not super excited about it. My son is REALLY going to pre school next week. When did we get here? When did my little man get so big? When did we get to a time where he gets to go and learn and play with out me? Don’t we get mommy and me classes forever? No…I guess we don’t. DAMN!
I am sure most of you will think I am crazy but I’m so emotional about this. If I make it out of the school after drop off before I burst into tears I will consider it a success. I am not 100% positive that I won’t break down and embarrass myself. I probably wouldn’t be the first? Maybe?
You have to understand that there haven’t been too many days over the last almost 3 years that I haven’t spent every of his waking minutes with him. One of the hardest parts of leaving him with a sitter one morning a week was not knowing what he was doing. Was he happy…sad…did he eat? Did he poop? Who knows!? Pre school is just a beginning of a life of his that doesn’t involve me…and I know that is normal and right…but it’s hard. And from here on out it will only get worse.
Preschool represents so much more that just “my son is starting school”. It means he is growing up. Bottom line. He will learn so much, and he will love it. I know that. He will love his friends, and his teacher, and all the things he will learn. He will say “bye mommy” and smile and I will break down. He does it now when The Captain brings him anywhere. He smiles and waves and gives me a big hug and kiss and says “bye mommy”. My heart melts.
So I am getting ready. I know I will enjoy the time to work, and get things done. At this point I have no other kids, so it’s just me. What will I do with my time? Captain Awesome will remind me to work! But there is a lot of change brewing. You may not think so but I do. Two mornings a week my little boy will be with out me. I still have mommy and me soccer to be a part of but soon my role as playmate will become less and less. Can I go back to Gymboree?
Friends…next week be prepared to give comfort…hugs…and of course WINE…this mommy is about to lose it.