In the summer of 2018 I noticed that you were squinting one eye while doing some activities like coloring, or putting beads on a necklace. For a while it was only when you were at our dining room table and you would say ” the sun is in my eyes”. I didn’t think much of it because there is a big window there, and I know too well how blue eyes can be sensitive. So we went on with our lives. Then, it started to get worse. You would say the same thing when it was dark and I realized it was time to get your eyes checked. To be honest I thought I was over reacting but knew I would feel better if we got answers, so I made an an appointment around your 4th birthday.
You took the appointment like a champ. I had to bring your brother in to the specialist when he was 4 also, but his eyes were fine. You on the other hand went through the 2 hour visit and at the end we were told you’d need glasses. Not only that, your eye was turning inward to compensate for the vision and most likely you were seeing double. WTF!??? I felt awful. How long was it that you couldn’t see?? What did the world look like through your eyes? I had no idea, but I knew that we were going to rectify it.
We started our hunt for glasses right away. I could tell you weren’t happy about it. You didn’t come out and say it but you’d ask questions like “what if people think I look different”, or “maybe they won’t recognize me in my glasses?” It broke my heart. I wore glasses starting in 4th grade, but starting at 4 years old is hard. You said you only wanted pink glasses. I knew that if you weren’t happy with the pair we got you that you wouldn’t want to wear them so the hunt for pink glasses began. It wasn’t easy. You’d be surprised to know that there aren’t many options that fit a 4 year old peanut’s face. But we did it. Even then I knew you were unsure.
Funny thing is that I just recently got LASIK surgery and didn’t need my glasses anymore! She said she wanted me to be like her so I went and got glasses, punched out the lenses and wore them.
You took them on and off in the beginning, but in the end I could tell you realized that they helped you see. You would say “I don’t wink anymore mommy”. I am so happy you don’t need to wink anymore baby girl.
I cried a bit. It was selfish but I know how mean kids can be. I knew she would get questions about why she needed glasses. But I would remind myself that there are worse things in the world. She is such a pretty little girl and my vanity made me cringe…but I felt it. I won’t lie about that. When she put them on at first she looked different to me. Now, I may be biased but when I look at her in her glasses I KNOW she rocks them. Now, I don’t recognize her without them! People still stop her on the street and tell her how amazing her glasses are. I love that about people. I think it helps her alot to hear that. Kids did ask her about the glasses but funny thing is….so many kids have glasses! So many of her friends have glasses!
The hard part moving forward is wondering what she sees when she swims or skis. She can’t wear them then. I know how blind I used to be without glasses and wonder what it’s like for her. She has a while before contacts are brought into the picture. Her beautiful pink glasses will be a fixture in her life for years to come. But she can see. The world is more beautiful in her eyes now and for that I am thankful.
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