Well here we are. Another week in Quarrantine and another week doing school at home. I keep looking back as the weeks have gone on and it get’s worse and worse. We started a little lax with our rules of distancing. We allowed playing with neighbors as long as it was around the house and kept people outside. We then went to social distancing in our yard and tightened the rules. We drank in chairs 6 ft aprart. The kids played with more rules of distancing. Now….everyone must stay away. It’s hard. It sucks but based on Long Island being the epicenter of this virus we have no choice.
One silver lining for me is my children are happy. They honestly are. They miss their friends, and they miss school. They complain they are bored and they fight. We argue over school and many days I wish they would just learn to entertain themselves, but at the end of the day I know they are happy. My oldest is very high anxiety and I am not really feeling it from him. In my opinion I think that’s a win. When I want to run and hide I do. I take some moments….I hide…..and then my babies make me smile and I know we got this thing for now.
The school portion is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because we have a goal and some focus in the day, and a curse because we are always left to feel less than. I am looking at school as a filler. I don’t believe I am meant to be a teacher. I think my goal for my kidergartener is to make her feel happy and safe. If he wants to color a picture great. If she wants to read a book that isn’t on the list? Great! Anything goes! I think her school agrees and for that I am grateful. My son is a little more difficult His work needs to be turned in. We are learning google classroom. I pretty much feel outdated already. I am thankful for Captain Awesome because he understands the computer system. It’s hard because he is working, my job is less than busy but it exists, and both of them want and crave our attention. I keep saying I have been training for this for years. I am taking it better than most, because I have both worked from home and raised our kids since they were born. But let’s be honest. It’s not the same.
Based on what I hear is out there I can only hope that we continue as we area. Healthy…..happy…..and full of hope that everyone we love will continue to do the same. It’s hard staying away from those we love. Being away from friends is so hard for us and our kids. I have family out of state and family close by and both seem far away. It doesn’t matter because we can’t see any of them. Easter is this week and it will be the first time I am not traveling to PA. It sucks. I want to make the holiday special. I HAVE to make things as special as I can for my kids and myself. The years are still short and we must make the most of it. So I will…but it won’t be the same. I know it won’t be the same, but I am hoping my kids will still feel the magic of it all.
I am hoping those in my life understand that our world is currently just the 4 of us. A smile and a nod from neighbors and friends are needed. They are necessary and make me thankful in our day. Messenger, texts and facetime make this doable. We are connected to those we love and it helps. It’s not everything but it’s something. We get to see those we love, and we get to talk to them. For now it must be enough. I can’t risk those I love for the sake of human contact. Are the lines I have drawn enough? I don’t know. They aren’t perfect. We still see the world and get the things we need, but the rest must wait.
So we are doing what we do! We are sleeping in….we are doing school….we are doing lunch and recess (aka a few moments to myself if they don’t convince me to eat lunch with them!) …we are walking…we are biking…we are laughing…we are snuggling….we are fighting….we are sighing…we are rolling our eyes….we are happy…we are sad…we are pouting….and we are here. For all of that I am focusing on being thankful….ok…sometimes frustrated…but trying to remember to be thankful! Looks like we will be doing this for a while!