The other day I was giving a blood sample so that I could get evaluated for some new life insurance my husband took out on me (if I suddenly die look into since I am now worth ALOT more dead than alive!). Then, the woman pulled out a dreaded scale. I have to tell you I haven’t stood on a scale in months. I hate the scale and figure it has no point. Imagine my shock when I stood on the scale and realized that I was at the heaviest I have ever been in my life (minus when I was pregnant)! When did this happen? How did this happen?
I lost a good amount of weight for my wedding 5 years ago and I felt great. Then a year later I got pregnant, suffered a miscarriage, went through a lot of emotional stress, and in the end got pregnant. I have to say that over that time I miraculously didn’t put on that much weight and was pretty happy at the minimal weight gain I had during pregnancy. Then after, the joys of breastfeeding allowed me to drop the baby weight and more. Amazingly, I was still doing good weight wise post baby (please don’t hate me!). Then I stopped breast feeding and it all went downhill from there.
Last October I decided I would attempt to eat better. It didn’t last long because low and behold I was pregnant again! Why not enjoy it and eat what I want right? WRONG! I gained weight early, and when I suffered another miscarriage I wallowed…ALOT! I am not a binge eater by any means. I don’t actually eat that much but I eat bad. I make bad choices. I felt like I would get pregnant again soon so I didn’t bother to even try. Now….many months later I still am NOT pregnant and find out that I am at my heaviest. Another blow!
It happened so fast it!! My clothes still fit, but now that I know my weight I find myself very uncomfortable in them. I now feel that I am feeling tight in them. Bathing suit season is the perfect time to feel fat right?
I now see how people can go out of control when it comes to weight. I am not fat…not by any means. My weight isn’t even that high! Some of you may wonder why I am bitching about it…but it’s about not feeling good. It’s about one day realizing things can easily get out of control. I don’t want to get to a point where I have trouble getting back.
Can I blame being in my 30’s? I’d like to…but I think I have to blame the pizza, chips, cookies and wine. The sad thing is I know exactly what I need to do to fix the situation. But can I do it? I keep using the “I may get pregnant” excuse, but it seems things are going nowhere fast in that department. I guess eating healthier could only help me I guess.
So it’s time to get back on track. It’s a mental block I have with eating well, and I need to get over it. Captain Awesome has been really motivated to get in shape and I need to join him. It’s easier when you do it together right? So here we go…I will try.
Ha, I can commisterate with this totally! The ‘what if I’m pregnant.’ I was going great with losing some post-wedding weight (a 1 short of my wedding weight), then after my miscarriage, I put on another 7 lbs. I too know what I need to do -get the damn sweets out of the house! But it’s summer… and the Mr. is looking for ME to motivate HIM to get in shape…Grr…it might be a long summer! But I’m determined to go back to work in Sept lighter – NOT heavier!
Ya it sucks! I am struggling with it and it’s worse now that I know I have put on so much weight…I was better off not knowing! lol good luck to you!