I follow this blog called The Hollywood Housewife, and recently she reposted a post called Mommy Style Goals. This particular post really caught my eye, because it was written before her daughter was born, and she listed some goals for herself for after the baby was born. The main goal was that she didn’t totally lose herself once she became a mother. I am sure this is something that a lot of women think about once they find out a child is on the way. Funny thing is that I really haven’t thought about this much. I have always wanted to be a mom, and all that it entails…but by taking all that on are you destined to lose alot of who you were pre baby? My priorities have shifted so much since Christian was born that things I found important before don’t seem so important, and even things I THOUGHT I would find important are not….so is it losing yourself if you aren’t upset that it’s gone?
TV and talk shows always joke about getting stuck in the “mom rut” when it comes to fashion. I can totally see how that can happen. I admit fully to falling victim to the sweat pants. How could you not? I spend my days on the floor and the couch with my son, and when I am not playing with him I am doing housework, or doing work work on my computer. None of that calls for a fashionable outfit. Who am I getting dressed for? Myself? No need! The truth is that I didn’t get fully dressed every day even before the baby. Why dirty an outfit if no one is going to see it? I will admit that it’s important to look good for The Captain…sometimes. But does it have to be every day?
Another dilemma with looking good is the fact that I don’t totally fit back into all of my pre pregnancy clothes. Yes, I have lost alot of the baby weight but that doesn’t mean that I fit into my clothes. Don’t tell anyone but I still wear some of my maternity pants. Why would I give that up? It’s like wearing sweatpants every day without the actual “look” of sweatpants! And how can I be fashionable when I no longer fit into most of my shoes? My feet grew during pregnancy, and they didn’t go back! Now what?
I had no real hobbies before the baby, so I haven’t lost any of that. If losing yourself means that I have trouble talking about things other than my baby then I guess that means I’m lost, because I am totally that mom right now. Can I still hold an adult conversation? Sure…but most of the time I don’t want to. Does that make me a bad person? My whole life is my son at this point, so I don’t have much else to offer in the conversation department. People talk about what they know right? I hope my friends don’t find that annoying about me…hey friends…am I annoying these days?
Do I miss my party days? Sure, sometimes but I wouldn’t trade anything to get that back. And I certainly know that getting bombed on apple martinis isn’t in my near future. How could it? I have to take care of my little man, and I have a feeling doing that with a nasty hangover is near impossible. If not impossible than certainly not desirable.
So my question for you dear readers is this. Do you feel that you lost yourself once you became a mother? If you aren’t a mother do you feel that women get lost? Is it getting lost if you are happy with how your life is going? Ok….discuss….