Holy Moly I am just about done with all this house business. The ups and downs are enough to make me go crazy! Seriously….how is one supposed to survive this?? I am actually in a better situation then others out there because I actually am still happy with my home, and actually have made money on it since we bought in 2007, but trying to jump through all the hoops to sell this place is exhausting. The newest update is that we are back to square one. Our buyers were unable to get the financing necessary, and had to walk. We are left where we were a month ago…with a house that is selling for way under the market value…with no one to buy it. UGH!

True Story? I think I think I am handling it pretty well. I haven’t yelled, and I haven’t cried. That my friends is a big accomplishment. As a matter of fact…Captain Awesome and I haven’t even really fought that bad. I can’t really believe it…but thus far our marriage has been surviving. We aren’t at the end yet…but I think we just might make it.

You know what I am most upset about? The fact that I have to show this house again. Do you know how hard it is to get this place clean…and KEEP it clean with an 18 month old? Almost impossible! It’s a huge pain in the butt and who knows how many times I will have to show it? The unknown has always been my worst enemy.

I hate that my new home seems so far away. We were so close! Last week I honestly thought I was 60 days away from closing on the home that I would raise Christian in. In just 4 days I lost all of that. Now, I can’t even really look at homes because we are that far away from buying. I know we are only pressing PAUSE…but I have a feeling it’s going to feel like forever.

Listen…I know “everything happens for a reason”. I learned that all too well when with my miscarriage and I now have the most fantastic little boy a girl could ask for…I am a believer…but we all know that when you are in the thick of it, it all just sucks. It’s way too hard to think about “why” this all happens. Or what house out there is “supposed” to be ours. I know it’s there, and I know we will end up in the one we are supposed to. But right now I want to wallow in self pity and be sad about the fact that we have taken way too many steps backwards. Right now it just sucks.