A while ago I was watching an Oprah episode that featured Tim Gunn from Project runway, and he was doing make overs. During the show Tim made a comment that really rang true to me. He called it “The Frumpification of America”. He said “If you want to look like you want to be in bed all day then you should stay in bed!” I laughed, and then looked down at myself and cringed. I was wearing sweatpants and an over sized sweatshirt. Am I adding to the frumpification of America???
The answer is YES I AM! What a horrible realization! I did a post a while back about my love for sexy, soft underthings. This post spoke of my love for anything soft and feminine underneath my clothes. But what about the clothes on the outside? Isn’t that important too? I have ZERO excuse as to why I wear comfy sweatpants and sneakers instead of form fitting clothes and high heels. Actually, I take that back…I love to get dressed up, but not to just sit around my house. But what about those housewives of old that used to wear pearls as they cooked? How about the days (or so I’m told) that people used to get dressed up to go on an air plane? Now, when it’s travel time I throw on the comfiest outfit I have just so I can bear sitting in that uncomfortable seat for a few hours. But what changed that made it ok to dress down?
I think I’m getting ahead of myself here. So I will step back and look at this situation. When do you think it started happening? When did it become ok for a woman to throw on her biggest and baggiest pair of sweatpants, a big ol’ shirt, throw her hair in a messy bun on top of her head and walk out the door? I don’t think you can blame it on being a housewife..I mean women were housewives for years longer then they were in the work force. Look at my grandma…she worked, raised kids, cooked and even had time to wash and iron all her drapery regularly ( I know this because they are hanging in her closet marked with the day they were washed and ironed) To this day the 88 year old woman’s house is cleaner than mine! But she always looked nice. No sweatpants for her!
So I decided to call her…she reminded me that women didn’t even wear pants in those days! So you were pretty much forced to look semi put together in a nice dress with comfortable heels. Maybe the sensible heel needs to come back in fashion? (was it ever in? Or maybe women didn’t care so much) Or maybe it’s the fact that television is such a prominent part of our every day life? Back then there was no sitting in front of the TV. You were up, dressed and being productive all day. I mean if you were even going to come close to following “The Good Wife’s Guide” that appeared in a 1950’s Housekeeping monthly, you had to be nothing but put together! (ok so the guide is pretty unrealistic, but it WAS published)
I decided to hop around the internet a bit to see what I could find. In my travels I found the site The Retro Housewife. What a fun site! Here she talks about lots of trends over the decades, but I found the fashion portion really interesting. If you click on each decade of fashion you will see how much it changes. I think it all began in the 60’s when it became more acceptable for women to wear pants…Then the 70’s brought women’s liberation and the pants suit…and I think if you want to pinpoint the real downfall you have to blame the 80’s. And the rest as they say…is history.
I get that the fashion they show in magazines is almost unrealistic…I mean am I really supposed to wear a stiletto heel every day like Carrie Bradshaw? But there has to be a happy medium. I am a HUGE offender of the frump, and need to change my ways. So who’s with me? It’s time to unfrump America! What are some of your sweat pant alternatives???
So true…so sadly true. I am definitely guilty. I wear sweatshirts everyday! It’s been tough lately to even put a little make up on which…I try to do for my hubby!
When I was in church a couple weeks ago, I was looking around and noticing that people I attend church with even show up slummin’ it. What’s the deal?
Sure, it takes more effort to actually shower, straighten hair (in my case), put a little make up on and a nice outfit…BUT, do you ever notice that when you do…you feel better about yourself? Sexier? and then maybe you might even feel like being a little more flirty with the hubby…
It’s probably a good thing. I’m gonna clean up my act…thanks for this post!
I definitely feel better about myself when I am dressed up. I like to feel pretty! As for church I totally agree with you! Something that burns my britches is when I go to a broadway show and see people in Jeans..it’s like come on people it’s the theater!! I even went to the Opera once I wore a nice black dress and The Captain wore a suit…and we get there and people are in jeans! WTH??
I have noticed this and it is always one thing I promised myself I would never do when I got married. I wanted my man to always think I was pretty and attractive. And in my mind, even though I know he is committed to me and loves me and loves the person I am on the inside, it certainly doesn’t help things when there are beautiful women all the time in front of his face and then he would have to come home to a woman who didn’t seem to care. I’m not saying that I have to cook dinner in high heels, but even casual, comfy clothes (tight running pants, tank tops, etc) can have a sexy twist to it! ? Let’s see how I do after I have been married a while!
I can agree with this…actually a lot of men I know LOVE when their woman is wearing tight yoga pants. They can be sexy too in their own way!
I had this same realization a couple months back. Hubby and I biked downtown on a Saturday to attend the fresh market. I figured that I would want to wear something comfortable since we would be biking a good portion of the day. I opted for my yoga pants, runners and a warm sweater. Well, that was the day that I realized I am the ONLY one who wears those kind of things outside of the house. Women wear high heels and skirts on bikes here. When it’s too cold for skirts they just put on a pair of thick tights…the skirts stay.
since then I vow to get out of the yoga pants every day, even if it is just a SAHM day. I’m amazed at how great I feel just from being put together.
Where do you live Laura?? I shouldn’t talk though, in LI the moms think they are still 18 and dress like their kids! haha (not all of them of course)
You can add me to the list! Sometimes I think it would have be fun to be a 50/60s housewife. They always look so put together. Me, on the other hand, that’s another story!
…stopping by from SITS…
I totally agree! I sometimes think that is where I belong. If you ask me what I want to do w/ my life it’s to be a mom and a housewife…I think i’d fit in well there.
This is so true!! I am guilty of this just about everyday. I work from so I don’t have a reason to get dressed for work. I normally wear yoga pants and a tshirt. I do however atleast do my hair and make up in the mornings!! ‘
Stopping by from SITS!! Have a great day!!
I work from home too, so if I’m not out seeing customers I am in comfy clothes. I do a little better in the summer since it’s comfy to wear a dress…but in the winter it’s sweat pants all the way!
Love the websites you added. They’ll keep me busy at work. I agree that things started going downhill in the 80s. At least in the 60s and 70s, the sitcoms of the day and in retro magazines and stuff, the women were still well dressed.
I’m not a big dresses/skirts person, so I’ll stick with my slacks and jeans for wearing outside the house, but they will always be paired with some cute ballet flats (mostly patent leather) or heels (once a month, lol) and a top that actually fits and looks respectful. A favorite website of mine is modcloth.com and I’ve never seen anything frumpy on there. It’s all too cute!
The website is cute right! So fun to see what she put together! ? Sounds like you are good at finding a frumpy alternative..I have to work on that.
Great post! I never was into the sweatpants and baggy shirt look. I’ve always felt more put together wearing more form fitting clothes (jeans, more fitted shirts and a shoe with a heal-never sneakers,unless I’m exercising) I’m not saying I look totally put together thou. My big frump problem is hair and make-up. Most days I let my curly/wavy/frizzy hair air dry. My fingernail are neglected too.:) I still have some work to do.
I noticed in your about me that you went to Hofstra. I did too!!:) But a few years before you:)
I can say that I ALMOST don’t contribute to this, lol!! I watch too much What Not to Wear. However, I have been known to wear a T-shirt and jeans on many weekends…
So I am in love with all things retro and I totally understand what you are saying.
I think what changed is women starting keeping FULL TIME JOBS and keeping the house and raising the kids all at the same time. No wonder we lost the time to make ourselves look pretty while we dust and cook. We were/are exhausted.
Stopping by from SITS.
I wear my skinny jeans to de-frump!
I’ve seen your posts on Sits several times lately, so I thought I’d drop by….great blog!
For me jeans and a tshirt are as frumpy as I get in public. Honestly however around our house we are a lounge pants and tshirts couple. To me there is nothing more comfy. the moment I come home I change (explains the large amounts of laundry…..) I noticed something while on a local college campus that glam seems to be coming back. These girls were dressed to the nines to come to a show. Maybe there is hope for their generation!
I think its a good rule to dress nice when you leave the house. I guess you never know who are going to run in to! Ha!
As for college I know I used to dress up to go to class most of the time..black pants were very IN! lol I hope they are going with the trend!
Oh man, thanks for the article. There are days when I also contribute to the frump but now that I am starting to finally get my pre-baby body back I am wanting to look ‘sexy’ and form fitting again.
Visiting from SITS
Hey Jen,
We’re living in Holland. I think part of the reason is that people bike a lot of places instead of drive so they would be wearing biking clothes too often. I actually really enjoy it, it just took a little bit of work to learn to mount a bike in a skirt. Haha.
My mom is coming over today which means I have to unfrump myself…if I don’t I hear if for hours. She took care of 4 kids, a house and worked from home on top of it all and was always dressed well from head to toe. Nice clothes, make-up, jewelery. It didn’t matter if she was scrubbing a toilet or going to the grocery store. She is still like that. It boggles her mind that I am not just like her. lol.
I’m pretty jealous of that! I wish I could get in that mind set. ? I think it’s funny you make yourself up for your mom..I have to clean my house before my mom shows or I hear about it! ha!
I feel the same way. I had to order new clothes after surgery and half of them were fleece and stretch! The tights fad allows a lot of leeway, too. I have been pairing those long, fitted sweatshirts from VS with leggings. My hubby loves the leggings of course. ? So I don’t feel too frumpy. Maybe I should pair heels with them instead of ballet flats? Btw how do you respond to individual comments? I would love to do that!
My husband likes leggings too! You can respond to individual comments by clicking the word reply next to the date in the comment. That will allow you to comment on any comment here! I’d love if you would!
I love this post! It is sad but very true!!! I do think that college was my major frump era… i was too tired to even think about what to put on my body in order to make it to class in time…. so it was my oversized sorority jacket and black sweats! At night was heels and jeans to go out to the bars… but I secretly LOVED jersey night!! lol Now I actually get “dressed” everyday. The only time I wear sweats is when the kids are sick and I know I will be wiping snots all day. I even get “dressed” if I do not have plans to leave the house! I am not saying stilettos but I wear nice jeans with boots or flats… leggings with a nice tunic or whatever. I do know what caused my defrumpization……. being pregnant for 3 years in a row!!! After my 3rd child I joined a gym for the first time and cared alot more of how I looked. I guess maybe it was because being in maternity clothes for so long can make anyone feel like a MAJOR FRUMP! So now I try to keep it as put together as I can ?
Good for you!!! You look amazing every time I see you:) I think its great you get dressed every day…your better than me and you have 3 kids! lol
What a wonderful post, and how true! I am guilty of the frump as well, sad to say! I do work FT during the week so I am forced to get dressed, but on the weekends? Forget about it! I never even get out of my pajamas except for to take a shower and then put new pajamas back on! If we have somewhere to go I will put on jeans and a sweatshirt, but hardly ever get more dressed up than that!
Thanks for the great post and links!
The frump started when women started to rebel against the artificial look of dresses and heels. There’s a balance between comfort and frump, between form and fashion. I would much rather to be remembered by funny things that I’ve said then how I was dressed. Why is the emphasis on women getting de-frumped? My husband and boys live in jeans and sweats and I don’t care. The double standard still lives.
I don’t think it’s a double standard, I just write about it from a womans standpoint. I think men need to “de frump” also..I agree there is a balance between comfort and frump…frump to me is leaving the house in sweatpants and sweatshirts. Not sensible slacks and flats.
welllllllll, i guess i’m a frump. but i have a 3 year old and infant twins so i refuse to wear anything nice or that i care about due to the constant messes that decorate me daily. its not like i wear pj’s all day or mis-matches clothing because i match my sweats and i wear jeans and regular shirts, but i reserve my “nicer” clothes for when the whole family goes out or i’m having fun times out without the the mess-makers, lol!
I’m frumpy because I have lost hope about EVER being employed again. On the odd chance that I do score an interview, however, I look really good. Look nice when we go out too. I’m 65, in good shape, hair/makeup are pretty and age-appropriate. But, ladies, let me tell you — without ranting — that being a senior really sucks the fashionista out of you.