I have been feeling very restless recently. I feel like I need something fun and exciting to happen. I guess this feeling is not unusual. Probably most people wish exciting things would happen, and I am no different than most. But no matter what the fact still remains that I am feeling restless, and I am not exactly sure what I want or need to happen to make it go away.
Recently I have been telling my husband I want a cat. I have never been a cat person, but I feel like a cat would be a great secondary animal in our household. It is a furry friend, but takes a lot less effort to take care of than a dog. Some may tell me that I am using this cat to help fill my need to take care of something post miscarriage, and that I will regret my decision once I do get pregnant again…but I am not so sure. I am an animal lover and if my family did not live far away I would probably have more animals in our home. (at least if it were up to me). But my husband has said no…so I am left with no cat. Now what?
I also want to go away. My husband and I have had a very rough summer and have not had much time to focus on our marriage. We have been there for each other through it all, but it’s time to focus on happier times together rather than sad, and I think a little getaway would be perfect. But, here is the dilemma. It costs money, and we are working very hard to be smart and save for our next home and for our future. Although we do have vacation savings, I would rather use that on a bigger trip in the future…so again…I am left restless deciding what to do.
I am a firm believer in taking control of your own life and your own happiness. No one else can do that for you. So once I figure out a way to relieve this restless feeling I will let you know….but for now, I will continue to be restless. Can I just go back to “our” beach house in New Jersey to watch and listen to the waves crash at night? That would be just wonderful….
How about just taking a day to drive out East to the wineries?
Cats are easy to care for. I don’t think it is a decision you’d regret. There is a nurturing component to loss that is felt deeply after a miscarriage and there is absolutely nothing wrong with filling that need to nurture with a pet. It isn’t like you wouldn’t care for the cat after your next child is here. You work from home, you take great care of Tinkerbell and would do the same if you had a cat. Sometimes I wish the men in our lives could feel what we feel for just a second. :/
I think what you are feeling is normal. But for once don’t worry about money….happiness is more important. If you have to spend a few extra dollars for a weekend getaway..if it makes you happy it was worth it. You both deserve it!!!
Cats are totally easy to take care of, thats what i grew up with, but they arent as affectionate…..also even though times are tough sometimes you do need a little “us” time, i am so thankful that we had Greece we totally needed it! But what about a little day trip?
No Cats. They are evil creatures that would kill you if given the chance and necessary tools.
Ummm aren’t we planning three weekend trips within a 6 weeks time frame? Granted none are set but we have options lol
.-= The Husband´s last blog ..Winning the Lottery =-.
Oh dear husband. I think you are being a bit dramatic about the cat…and yes we have been discussing the trips you mentioned but NONE of them are planned!
I have been feeling the same way…Have you figured out how to cope with it yet. I too have thought about an animal or possibly having children to fill the void.
I too have been feeling very restless lately. The feeling just doesnt go away. I feel so worthless and useless. I just dont have anybody to turn to or talk with.
I am married for 18 years and have a 17 year old son. Mine was a love marriage much against the wishes of my family. I actually chose my husband over my family and those cracks have not yet been filled or bridged. My family maintains distance from me and they wont even share their worries with me. On the other hand, my husband doesnt like my family cuz they never liked him before I married him and hence all these years he has subtly threatened me to not keep in touch with them. Initially I wanted to please him and so did not keep in touch in my family and later was scared of my husband and hence did not keep regular contact with them.
When I married, just as any young girl of 18 has dreams I too dreamt of marrying someone who will take care of me all my life. After 18 years, when I look back I cant help but regret my decision. Today my day starts at 4 in the morning at ends at 11 at night. I wake up early to wake my son so that he can study, then begin the household chores of preparing meals, cleaning, cooking, washing, ironing etc followed by going to work at 9 and getting back in the evening at 7 and then continue the household chores. The day doesnt end after dinner is eaten and dishes are washed. There is one more chore of the day that is sex with my husband. Whether I am too tired or not doesnt matter to him as long as he gets it. My choice never comes into the picture and the way it is just wham bam thank you mam kind, the minute he reaches his peak its all over, no foreplay nothing.
To make matters worse, he makes me feel inadequate, worthless and overall an unwanted person. I am probably tolerated cuz I am the only breadwinner and probably as the saying goes, the goose that lays the eggs. My husband chose to retire at the ripe old age of 35 saying he cannot work anymore. Not that what he was earning was any great, but it did help a bit with my earnings. Hence I am now stuck even earning the bread and there is no choice. If I dont work, there wont be food, no education, no decent life in short. I am the one who has worry about everything, right from paying the bills, to putting food on the table to ensuring education for the kid.
At times I wish i had someone I could turn it. You might wonder what about freinds, well my husband made sure I lost all my friends so now I am stuck in an oval mirrored room with no corners or place to hide myself and even cry.
To make matters even worse, God it seems is as biased against women as humans are. He doesnt seem to listen to my prayers, but on the other hand I see him listening to my husband, but then probably that is because he is man himself.
I just dont know what to do, I feel like killing myself, but probably I am coward there too.
Give yourself some much needed credit. You are a strong woman, look at what you have had to deal with! I respect your strength. Have you thought about leaving him? Planning an exit? You are worth so much more than what he tells you or how he treats you. Seek your family out, ask for their help.
My heart goes out to you. Please don’t lose faith. Be still, and listen to what you feel in your heart. That is God guiding you. I pray you have the strength to follow through, and I pray you find the happiness you so much deserve.
Your Sister in Christ