I wrote this a few weeks ago after a rough day with our little man.

As a breastfeeding mom I am constantly on demand for my son. It was something I knew about when I decided to breastfeed, but knowing about something and living it are two different things. Infants feed at least every 3 hours, and sometimes less. That time frame begins at the start of the feeding, so if feeding takes a half hour, then you are left with 2 1/2 hours before feeding might start again, and sometimes less. So far I haven’t minded the night time feedings because he is such a good boy, and I haven’t even minded the feedings every 3 hours, but the other day Christian decided he was extremely hungry, and the two of us had our first REALLY bad day.

The Captain and I brought our little guy to our friends house for New Years Eve, and although we had a good time, it really threw off my schedule to be out so late. As a matter of fact I found myself even more tired the next day when Christian was a little fussy and didn’t want to sleep. At this point I found myself becoming a little testy. It’s funny how that can happen with the lack of sleep huh? Then came the next day, when we had plans to go to my in laws in the afternoon.

The day started like any other, but quickly took a turn for the worse. I woke up and fed him like I always do….then one hour later it seemed that our little man was hungry again. So I shrugged and fed him. I guess he was just hungry? Normally after a feeding he is happy and content. But not this day. Right after feeding he started to fuss, and this fussing did not stop. I would change and walk, and still nothing would make him feel better. Then one hour right on the nose after the start of the last feeding….he screamed again for more. So I fed. I fed all day long, and in between I walked, and he cried.

I was just so tired at this point! Finally, the afternoon arrived and he finally fell asleep. The only way I could get him to sleep was to have him lay on my chest, and in this position I finally got a bit of a nap. It was bitter sweet because I knew we had to be going out, and although I had no desire to go, I knew the family was looking forward to seeing the baby. When little Christian decided it was time to wake up, he also told me it was time to eat again. How could this be? So I fed him….and I cried.

Why did I cry? No idea? Could I not handle a fussy baby? I mean come on Jen! He’s such a good boy, and babies cry. Suck it up! But cry I did. The Captain looked at me and asked what was wrong. All I could say was that I didn’t know…that it was just a bad day. He did the right thing and let me alone because there was really nothing he could say to help. He did the next best thing and took the baby while I showered. It helped to get clean and step away from the situation. One thing about being a nursing mom is that all the responsibility to feed is on me.

We went to my in laws and he was a good boy of course. It felt good to be able to hand him off to others for a little while. But the long day still wore on me.

After speaking to others I found out that a growth spurt is a natural thing and is probably the cause of the cluster feeds. Cluster feeding is when I baby wants to constantly eat. That is certainly what my little boy did that day. A growth spurt huh?

I am lucky, and our boy normally is such a good baby. I know others will read this and say…one day?? Try having a fussy baby for months! And I give those mothers a ton of credit. I take my hat off to you! For me? I just wanted to share about that day…that hard day…because so far as I read back my posts it looks like