With 2014 quickly approaching I find myself (as I do every year) reflecting on the year that has passed. I have so many mixed feelings about the year 2013. At a quick glance I would have to say it wasn’t the best year…but how can I put down a year that brought me so many great memories with my wonderful son? The year brought me a lot of personal pain, and struggles, but each morning I see my son and realize how lucky I am. In the words of the broadway show Rent….How do you measure a year?
2013 began with The Captain and I being homeless for a bit after we sold our first home together. It was bittersweet. I was pregnant and stressed with the buying and selling of a house. As the new year began I was living with my parents and got to visit and take care of my ailing grandmother. She passed away on the day we closed on our new home. She lived a wonderful life but I was so devastated. I was so happy that I got to be with her during her last days.
When we moved into our new home I was pregnant. I mentally began decorating the 4th bedroom as a nursery and luckily had a lot of help so that my pregnant self could rest. It wasn’t long after moving in that we found out that I lost the baby. I certainly didn’t think I would have to suffer a second miscarriage. It wasn’t right or fair, but it happened. My son is the one who got me through it all this time. His happiness and hugs made every moment of my day worth it, and I knew I had to get passed it…I still haven’t…The desire to be pregnant and the fact that I am not seems to be the theme of the year. Sad…but true.
Although personally all those things sometimes bring me down, I refuse to let it take away the focus from my great kid and life. If I did then I wouldn’t remember that 2013 brought us to the great new town of Greenlawn in a new house that will hopefully be a perfect home for our family. Or that we have a fantastic trip to Aruba with some great friends…I became an aunt again to my sisters beautiful daughter. Even better? I am her GODMOTHER! We spent a week at the beach with my family (as always) and watching my son play at the beach was so fun.
If I focused too much on one negative I would miss all the amazing moments that pass all too fast. My son at the age of two grew so fast! He started his first year of pre school, and every holiday and activity we did this year was so much more fun. From dying Easter eggs, to playing at the beach, to Trick or Treat, to Christmas. EVERYTHING was made that much better.
Not only are we in a bigger house, but we also moved on to a bigger car. Yup…we got a swaggin wagon and I’m talkin MINI VAN! I love it…there I said it.
So 2013 has been a bit of a roller coaster. I honestly never imagined the year would play out like it did, but can we ever predict how our life will turn out? Especially when it comes to things that are left in God’s hands. We can’t…that is something that is hard for me to swallow, but I don’t have much of a choice. 2013 was filled with so, so many highs…and was mixed in with a few lows that hang in my mind almost every day. I hate how that happens don’t you?
I just hope that I can look back on this post and not remember this year for the bad things. I want to remember moving into our new home and the wonderful ways I got to make memories with my family. THAT my dear friends is what life is about.
It’s a wonderful way you can reflect on a year and allow yourself to remember the hurt and pain you experienced but at the same time let the great memories heal you. Happy new year Jen…may you experience all of God’s love and blessings in 2014!