This is a public service announcement for anyone and everyone that comes across a woman who is TTC. I figure it is my duty to publicly make this announcement, since when conversations on this topic arise in the real world, women are forced to just smile and bare it when someone tries to offer up this horrid advice. But, from experience, and by speaking to others I am here to tell you all, that THE LAST THING any woman wants to hear EVER…let alone when she is TTC …is that all she needs to do is RELAX.
This my friends may be hard to hear, and please if you have ever said this to me, please don’t think I am referring to you alone. Trust me, it is a common bit of advice. But ladies, think it through…have you ever been in an argument with your spouse, only to have him tell you to relax?? How awful is that? And what does it do to you when he says those words? It makes you do anything but RELAX!
Normally, if a friend is talking to you about any TTC struggles or stress she isn’t looking for any sort of advice. Most of the time she just wants to say it out loud, and talk and put it out there. On the boards I follow there are actually many threads that discuss what come back to give when someone tells them “You know I’ve heard that if you just relax it will happen”. You should hear some responses, and I am telling you that you wouldn’t want to be on the end of one of those responses. It will be embarrassing to you for making this person so upset and angry, and embarrassing for them for having lost their cool. So let’s look at this post at me just trying to help you out!
I’ll be honest. I do believe that in some cases just relaxing can have great power, but that is advice I am not looking to get. Even the words “it will happen when it’s supposed to” is a sucker punch to the gut because I am left wondering…why isn’t it supposed to happen now? Personally, I am not sure the better route to take. A: talking about TTC to others and getting the “relax” response, or B: keeping it bottled up inside so that you don’t have to hear about it. I personally choose to go with C: getting it all out through my blog, and that way I don’t run the risk of having someone tell me to relax…if a comment such as that comes across I get to just delete it! oh the joys of running a blog!
I hope I have opened your eyes in some way. I totally get that you are just trying to help, and I totally get that there aren’t many other pieces of advice that you can think to offer. But I am letting you off the hook. No advice is needed when it comes to this topic. All you have to do is listen…and my friend…that is just enough. This has been a Public Service Announcement.
Ok TTC friends…here’s your chance to throw out those responces you have been dying to say to someone who told you to RELAX. Take your shot!