When you have a baby it’s amazing how long it takes to get back to feeling like a normal person again. Each baby step towards that goal feels like a HUGE accomplishment. Now that I am entering the home stretch of the first year of motherhood I look back and in awe at how far we’ve come.
I remember the first night my son slept in his crib and not in the bassinet in our room. I felt so many emotions but remember feeling thankful that I could now turn on my bedroom light and read a book without worrying that I’d wake him. Such a small thing but at the time it was huge!
The days before I pumped I was pretty much attached to my son 24/7. I had trouble leaving the house for longer than an hour because I was feeding on demand and never knew when he’d want to eat again. After a few weeks I decided it was finally time to pump so that my son could be fed, but I wasn’t always the person who had to do it. Even though I never left him for long, just having the freedom to know I could go a few hours made all the difference.
Fast forward to the 5 or 6 month mark and I had reached a whole new world. My son was steadily sleeping through the night, and we had a bit a schedule. He even was taking 2 naps a day! Although I never wanted to be rigid about a schedule, this schedule made me sane. And sanity is a good thing!
I have been a milk machine for about 9 months now. Although I would never change that, I will never tell you that it was easy. The motivation for this post came the other day when I finally put the pump away. Well, not for good, just away from daily use. See, up until now I was pumping at least once a day, and was currently pumping one time at night before bed. I did this to make extra bottles, and mainly so that milk could go in his cereal. But I hate to pump. It drove me nuts every night even though it didn’t take long. For some reason it was a burden. I felt so much guilt, but I had to do it for me. I wanted to stop…so I did. And doing so was so freeing! As sad as it sounds the act of just “going to bed” is phenomenal!
So let’s recap…at 9 months I get to turn the light on in my room at night to read, am able to have someone else feed my son, sleep through the night (well, most of the time!), get some “me” time during nap time, and now no longer have to pump daily. All of that sounds pretty great to me! If anyone reading this is struggling in the early weeks/months of motherhood just know that it gets easier. You will someday soon feel more like a person!