When I began breastfeeding I never thought I could, or even want to make it the full year. I talked about it, toyed with the idea in my head, but if I am being honest I will admit that I thought I would stop around 6 months….9 months at the longest. Now, at 10 and a half months in I think I”m going to make it. I think I am going to make it the magical 1 year mark. I’m in the home stretch!
The other day I was sitting in my glider, nursing my son, and my mind began to wander to those beginning weeks. I think what they say is true and that you forget about how hard it is. I know in my head that it was hard, but the feelings behind it seem to have dimmed. I thought about those nightly feedings every 3 hours, and how zombie like I was. Now, nursing is actually a very pleasant time for me, and I think it still is for him.
At this point I am still nursing 4 times a day. When he gets up, after morning nap, after afternoon nap, and before bed. At my last doctors appointment I was told I could cut out a feeding and the idea of it was hard. Before, I always looked forward to dropping feedings. Each drop brought me closer to freedom, but now it’s just second nature.
Two days ago I decided to try to drop the afternoon feeding, but the little guy woke from his nap screaming and I consoled him with nursing. I took that as a sign that that day wasn’t the day to stop. I will get there.
Stopping will be very bitter sweet come December. I WANT to stop. I’m ready. I’m ready to be able to go to bed without a bra, and I’m ready to drink coffee whenever I want through out the day. I am ready to let someone else get up with my son in the AM and not have to get up first to feed him. It’s time. But as time goes by, and the end date approaches I can only reflect on all the wonderful times. Breastfeeding has given me a connection to my son that no one else has. I will always have that memory. I just can’t believe I’m almost there. I can’t believe I have entered the home stretch and will soon be finished…..wow