I find it amazing how many emotions I am capable of feeling at one time. Although I am sure it’s all part of the pregnancy process, I sometimes find it all overwhelming. At the same time I am feeling excitement, joy and wonderment…I am also feeling disbelief and fear. What did I expect? The Captain and I are about to start a new HUGE adventure. The time has almost come for me to get my biggest dream in the world…to become a mom. But with that dream comes the fears that anyone might feel when their dreams are about to come true….am I ready for it?
I have stated this many times in the past but I will say it again. I have always felt I was destined to be a mom. In my mind my dream job was/is to be a stay at home mom, be able to raise my kids as I choose, and be there with them day by day just as my mom was with me. But now…as I am closer to that dream I worry that it may not be all it’s cracked up to be! What if I don’t like it? What if I am not good at it? Trust me…I don’t think that being a mom is a walk in the park…on the contrary. I know it’s probably one of the hardest jobs in the world….but what if I don’t love it like I think I will? That scares me to death!
What if I’m not good at it? I truly want to try not to be a psychotic mom. I really truly do….but what happens if I don’t have the right instincts to know what to do? When I say I really have no clue about babies..I mean I REALLY have no clue. I haven’t changed a diaper since I was about 14…I’ve never bathed a baby, rocked a baby to sleep, or even dressed a baby. Now…30 days from now (give or take) they are going to let me walk out of that hospital with a tiny little being totally dependent on me and The Captain?? What if I stink!?
I’m scared of all the different advice out there. How do I know who to listen to? There’s the parents advice, the friends advice, the doctor’s advice and then I’m sure there is your own instinct. Who wins? They say go with your gut…but what if my gut is wrong? How do you filter through? Each mom has a different experience, and each child is different. What works for one may not work for the other….so what do to? Trial and error? Hope for the best?
Motherhood comes with so many choices. Each choice has it’s own consequence, and you have no idea if that consequence is good or bad till way after a decision has already been made. That is one scary thought. Don’t get me wrong, I am truly excited about what is ahead….there isn’t anything in this world I want more, but the unknown sure is pretty darn scary.
Were you scared before your baby was born? What were some fears that you felt?
Great post and points. Advice? You said “What if I don’t like it? What if I am not good at it?” There will be days you don’t like it. There will be days you aren’t good at it. These times will go on for the next 18 years! BUT it’s OK! No parent is perfect because it is not about perfection – it’s about love. Almost all older parents look back and think, “Man I wish I’d done that differently or better!” And kids survived anyway! And you don’t have to do it along – read those training books and find the style that fits who you are and what you believe. For me it was my mom’s old “Dr. Spock’s Baby and Childcare” book with it’s sleep schedules and breakdown of age by age with your child. It was GREAT because he followed it to a T – naptime and eating pretty much the same time every day, etc. Saved my sanity as a single parent. Anyway – YOU WILL BE GREAT!
18 years huh! wow it seems so long (although I am sure it all goes very fast!) I will definitely have to take a look at some books!
thanks for the advice!
Having a new baby is always a tough adjustment, but if you trust yourself and your instincts, you will be fine.
With my first, I read too many baby books. Each had different advice and it was very confusing!
I can imagine how reading TOO much could be frustrating! I find that with the internet…maybe reading is bad.lol
YOU ONLY CAN DO THE BEST YOU CAN DO SOMETIMES YOU WIL BE PERFECT AND OTHER TIMES NOT SO MUCH BUT A HUG AND AND AN I LOVE YOU IS THE BEST
sounds like some pretty good advice! ?
I plan on doing my research, listening to what others have to say, and then go with my informed gut. People can have such strong opinions on both sides of the spectrum of just about every issue. What I hope most for my future as a mother is to really be present with my child. I know I’ll goof, but at least I’ll be there doing my best observing who s/he becomes over the years. I also plan on doing this while maintaining at least part-time employment, although my dream is to be a stay-at-home mom and writer. I may forget this entire calm perspective when I’m as far along and as close to motherhood as you are! Good luck. I’m sure you’ll be great. ?
Some days I fall asleep at night feeling at peace at all the wonderful things I managed to accomplish in my dad as a mother of two. Other nights I stay up for far too long pondering if that moment I raised my voice or lost my temper has scarred them for life. Then there are those days when I figure if they are fed, laughing, happy and somewhat clean then we are all good. In the end all that matters is that you love your childre and that you also remember to love yourself.
It will all come to you. Lord knows women took care of babies well enough before Dr. Spock and Dr. Sears ?
It took me years to have a successful pregnancy (I have one child). And when I was pregnant with my daughter, I was petrified. It wasn’t until I had her that I was at my calmest. Even now, almost two years later, it’s hard for me to realize sometimes that she’s mine. Even though it feels like it was always meant to be. If that makes any sense at all…
Everyone and their mother would tell me what I should do, what I should eat, books to read, etc. At some point, you have to trust your instinct and stop listening. Don’t buy a truckload of books. My husband did and they all say slightly different things. It can drive a person mad.
And I will admit that not every day will be a blast. There will be some days you will cry out of frustration and then of joy. I get frustrated all the time because I’m so worried I’m going to make a mistake. But I guess we just have to realize we’re human and just try to do the best we can.
Hope that the novella I just wrote helps. And congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and delivery.
I can totally understand those fears. I have them, and I’m not even pregnant yet!
I think you have to do the research and weigh options, then let your instinct take over. You know deep down what is right for your baby and you just have to concentrate on that fact.
You are going to be such an AMAZING mom. Seriously. ? Your kid is so lucky to have you and Awesome as parents.