Once you have a child, the first thing people tend to ask you is….”are you ready for another one?” or “when do you want to have a second?” My answer to both of those questions is….not for a little while! As a planner I pretty much live my life thinking about what comes next. It’s just who I am…but for the first time in my life, when it comes to our family I am just living in the moment. I wake up happy every day and I want to enjoy my son. I want to think about him, and what he wants. I am truly living in the now.
It starts in college. You are taught to think about what you want to be when you “grow up”. So that’s what I did! After college I thought ahead to when I would get engaged. I will admit that consumed a lot of my brain power! After I was engaged began the wedding plans! Such a wonderful and joyous time in my life. I waited for my wedding for so long, and I thought about it for over a year. Once it was over I was at a complete loss. What would I plan for next??? A child….
My husband and I agreed to try for a child after one year of marriage. Most all my readers know what happened then. We suffered “our loss” . It was awful and all consuming of my life. The months that followed were more of the same, until finally we got our BFP!
Throughout pregnancy I dreamed of the day that I would get to meet my son. Always looking ahead. Trust me…I enjoyed pregnancy a lot, but there was always that end goal. And now he’s here. My pride and joy! And that is where my plans end.
Ok…well sort of. Of course I love to think about Halloween costumes, and first birthday parties but that is all. When it comes to growing our family, if I have any say in the matter, we will keep things “as is” for now. I just want to enjoy my son. He deserves my total focus. If I am looking to far ahead I will miss out on what is happening right now. And I don’t want that to happen.
I feel ya mama! Great post! We too are just trying to live in the now! 🙂