Thus far I have been very preoccupied with all things pregnancy. Makes sense right? I mean in the beginning I was terrified that this pregnancy wouldn’t actually be a success. Then I dreamed about finding out then gender. Then I was all about registering….and so forth. What I haven’t had much time to think about, and the part that scares me the most is actually DELIVERING this baby. But after much thought, and consideration I have now decided that I will actually NOT be delivering this baby, and a beautiful stork carrying my baby in a beautiful blue blanket will descend and deliver me my boy….what do you think?

I keep telling anyone who will listen about my “stork plan”. It just sounds so peaceful to me. I know I am supposed to look at child birth as a beautiful thing, but all I see is a lot of pain. I get that it’s natural and women have been delivery babies for centuries, but it just doesn’t seem natural to me!

Right now my baby is 4.15 lbs…it is only going to get bigger…and this baby needs to exit where?? Ok, forget the actual act of pushing..what about all the labor leading up to that? Ouch! What is the average amount of time a woman is in labor? I don’t know the answer, but I think the answer is a LONG TIME! I honestly don’t know how I will make it through. I have a very low pain tolerance. What I do know is that I am very pro epidural. That, as my doctor reminds me, is how I will make it through. But even with that there is no guarantees! Some people progress too quickly..meaning it will be too late to get one. Some people’s epidural wears off by the end…which in my opinion is the most important time! Then there are those that just have bad experiences with them. Sure, that’s just what a poor woman in labor needs…to have a screwy epidural!

OK, how about the fact that you have no idea when the baby will actually decide to show up? In the last few weeks your body is like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. That’s right, at any minute you could be left wondering if your water broke, or if you only peed your pants. How embarrassing would it be to show up at the hospital only to be told you peed yourself? Don’t laugh, it will probably happen to me! They say you’ll know you are in labor when you are in labor, but I still believe I will have a few false alarms. It’s kind of a joke in the family that my parents in PA will have to start the trip to NY about 3 times, only to have to turn around for a false alarm. For now we have decided to only tell them when I am admitted. We’ll see how that goes.

The bottom line is that I’m truly terrified of all that is to come next. People tell me that the hard part is when the baby is actually here…I get that…but for now I can’t look past the inevitable pain that is in my near future. Women choose to do this over and over again huh? Only time will tell how it will go for me. But for now…I will keep thinking about that beautiful stork.