My son is the light of my life…but that feeling gets lost about 3 times a day when I attempt to give him nourishment. During those times I am about ready to do 2 things…1…hold him down, hold his nose and shove the food down his throat. Or 2…to just leave his plate uneaten and tell him he can starve the rest of the day.These days my actions fall in between but nothing seems to be working. I honestly don’t care to try anymore, and I wish meal time was a more pleasant experience. But it’s not, and I doubt it’s going to be for a while…so what am I to do?
I want my son to eat healthy. I do. When he was born I attempted to make my own baby food but failed. Then when he was able to eat regular food I tried so hard to give him healthy choices. I made my own cereal bars, I made egg quiches…and so much more. I spent a ton of time cooking only to have him turn his nose up at each thing before even trying it. How frustrating is that??
I understand how mom’s end up feeing pop tarts and chicken nuggets with every meal. I find myself asking myself “why bother?” I know the answer…because he’s 2 and I am the adult and need to keep trying to give him healthy choices. But man it’s hard! I wouldn’t necessarily call him a picky eater either..because he won’t even try! It’s one thing if I give him something and he spits it out. I respect that (cause I do the same thing!) but no…the food doesn’t even touch his lips!
What kid doesn’t like pasta? Mac and Cheese? Potatoes? Rice? Mine! His dinners include meat, fruit and usually a yogurt. For veggies I either have to hide them in his meat, or give him a squeezable packet. Almost every bite has to be shoved into his mouth. It’s a horrible habit I know…but it works. Sometimes it takes bribery to get him to eat. If he wants a toy at the table…”take a bite and I will give it to you”. He wants to watch Mickey “finish 4 more bites and you can watch Mickey”. It sucks.
Meals can take up to 45 minutes at a time just to get him to eat. In the end I normally win (with a little compromise here and there). But it isn’t pleasant. I get mad, and I want to yell. But I don’t. I know he doesn’t get it.
It’s not like he snacks either. For him food is something he would be happy with out. It baffles me. People say make eating fun…magic ingredients, allow him to help cook it…I’ve tried it all. He just doesn’t care one bit. He’s too smart to be tricked into eating. The “if you eat your spinach you will be strong like Popeye” line doesn’t work. “If you want to be big like daddy you have to eat” “do you want to be big like daddy?” to that I get the answer of NO!
So what do I do? I want to put food out, and if he doesn’t eat it tell him no snacks till lunch. But will he understand that? The reason I feed him each bit, and force him to eat it is because he is much more pleasant once he has eaten. It’s selfish, but the truth. But I fear I am creating a monster. It works for now…but for how long? There soon will come a time that I don’t control every meal he has. It’s then that I need to know I instilled good eating habits…at this point I would say I’ve been an epic FAIL in that department no matter how hard I’ve tried.
What worked for you?
I’m anxious to see the responses because you just wrote an entire post about EK. Meat and fruit… oh, and bread (but not pasta). If I let her eat bread, crackers, cereal for every meal, she would love me to no end. Vegetables do not work… in any form. I give her vitamins and the occasional Pediasure. I hold tight to the fact that I ate like crap – still eat like crap – and seem to be quite healthy, happy, etc. Maybe they’ll grow into good eaters. I didn’t, but I can dream for EK, right?
I am anxious too! Yes my guy will eat bread too but no pasta. I wish there was something he’d love to eat that would make him eat his meal but theres nothing! Evan I said pizza for every meal there is no guarantees! I think she’ll be fine. I ate a ton of chicken nuggets too and eat like crap now and I’m fine…I try to do good for him…but what else can I do?
I bought an organic margherita pizza last night for she and I to share. I was PUMPED when she took 2 bites… texted the hubs… major steps!!! And then she took her plate and dumped it in the trash. “I not yike.” Geez!
so frustrating!!! seriously!
I just so happened to see this post on FB after yours. Yes – they’re totally plugging their product, but it does have some good things to think about. I’m going through some of the same. My 18 month used to be a good eater, suddenly things he used to eat are not so anymore.
Sorry I can’t offer any suggestions but I can relate. Nothing works (lol). Children are as stubborn as we are. Where do you think they came from? My son is now 12 and he was the same way. Would never eat anything especially fruit or veggies, all he wanted was meat and mashed potatoes. I did the same thing tried to make cauliflower mash and pretend it was potatoes, smashed peas and put them in the potatoes. Anything and everything I read I tried and all it did was make me exhausted and him frustrated. Meal time is supposed to be a time of togetherness not frustration.
At one of his check ups I talked to our pediatrician about it and told him everything. He told me that children learn their eating habits from watching their parents eat. And the harder you push the harder they push back all that does is strain the both of you to frustration. It took all of my will power not to push anymore. We used to sit until he tried food or until he put something in his mouth. I even used a timer and if he didn’t eat in that amount if time he went in time out. But by then they don’t know why they are in time out.
The pediatrician said that kids will eat when they are hungry, I know this is difficult to grasp for us because every time we sat to eat I wanted him to eat too but he didn’t. The point is to make the good eating habits part of your life and they will follow. If they see chips or cookies or fruit snacks those little ones will hold out for those instead.
After that I made breakfast, lunch and dinner when it was time and if he didn’t eat, ok. He survived.
Now he is a good eater and will eat broccoli and an apple before he will grab anything else.
Now with Laila who is 3, that kid never eats. And when she does she eats like a pigeon. But when it’s time to eat she’ll sit and eat but only a bite or two. But she will usually try anything I put in front of her, especially if its on my plate. If you eat the right things and show a good example they will follow, eventually.
I also read something that said when you force your children to eat they don’t develop the ability to know when they are hungry or full…
if my kid gets his eating habits from me then we are screwed!! lol Thanks for the tips! I think what you said makes sense though. I need to lead by example. Forcing the issue could make bad habits in the future
My 22 mo old went through a phase from 12-18 months. I hated most meal times, aside from breakfast. I finally let her starve! I gave her 3 options — lunch example — pb sandwich, yogurt, or some left overs that can appeal to her. She would turn her nose and say all done. 10 mins later she was hungry and i gave the same options. By day 4 she sucked it up and ate my options. I should say there was always 3 options for each meal. Now we have no tantrums and she does 3 meals and a few snacks.
For fruits and veggies I am pretty firm in making them visible. She always tries — even if it’s a lick. I hated being forced to eat things and to this day I have weird food aversions for some things. Try doing different things — if you don’t like steamed broccoli I bet he doesn’t! Experiment with temps, roast them, add butter or salt, etc. if no veg than offer fruit. The point is to keep putting it there because they are finicky and might love it tomorrow.
Ps – my girl hates potatoes, noodles, most meats, etc. our go to foods are scrambled eggs, pancakes, waffles , pb sandwich – different but butters, granola bars, yogurt with berries and granola, berries, some casseroles I make, hummus.
Hates juice milk cheese. Oh we do sweet potatoes and homemade fish sticks that usually is great.
Great tips! I really need to play hard ball like that…let him go but if he wants to eat then eat what I gave him. Good idea! I am the worst with veggies…so I don’t blame him but I still try.