When I started this blog my goal was to talk about my life after being married. I really wanted to be a good wife, and I was excited to take care of my husband and my home. Although I was never the “cleanest” homemaker per say, and have tried to be a cook, I think I did a good job of keeping my marriage strong. The Captain and I went on dates, and spent a lot of alone time together. Fast forward 3 years, and now we have our pride and joy child. This wonderful little boy takes up my time and my energy, and I am beginning to see what people mean when they say that you really have to “work” on your marriage when there is children involved.
Most every waking minute of my day is spent with my son. I love it and I wouldn’t trade that in for the world. He is a busy little boy, so from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, we are on the move. That means that when he does finally go to bed at night I am exhausted. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and relax and reset. The Captain is tired too from his long days, so the both of us crash on the couches and zone out. That isn’t really a formula for romance.
My mother in law is always generous and will watch our son whenever we ask, but it has seemed that our summer is so busy that when we do go out it’s normally in a group setting. Unfortunately “date night” has had to be put on hold, and our time to connect has been limited.
It’s not that Captain Awesome and I don’t spend time together. On the contrary actually. He comes home for lunch almost every day, and we eat dinner together every night. But quantity doesn’t always equal quality time.
A strong marriage is extremely important. I know that. We have a strong marriage, but I can see where it is difficult to connect as husband and wife when you have a child. My role as mom overshadows my role of wife right now, and I always believed I’d be able to balance the two better.
Tomorrow night Captain Awesome and I will be going into Manhattan to see “Rock of Ages” on Broadway and will have a nice romantic dinner for two. It will be a much needed night out together. I have to focus more on the balance between wife and mother. .Both roles are extremely important in making this family the wonderful entity it is.
Oh so true!!! I know my H and I have had many conversations about this since baby is on the way now.
We are in the same boat. We do spend time together. But it’s not always quality. Alot, of evenings its dualing computers on the couch. Requests who can do this or that related to the house and chores. Sometimes our best connections are our car rides to and from places when the little one is asleep in the back.
We bicker a little more. Mostly because we are tired. We both work full time- so if the little girl has a bad sleeping night. It takes a couple days to recover. (oh sweet sleep).
We haven’t found a great situation for a babusitter. My family lives over an hour away. And will watch her anytime we are up visiting. But you don’t always want to drive an hour to get a date.
We love to take P out to dinner with us and to other social gatherings. She is truly a joy, and since we both work. We really value all our time with her….and in fact I really don’t want to leave her on the weekends. I miss her so much during the days while I am at work.
But I also and actuely aware that me and the hubs must take the time to connect. The world is spinning around us and we doing everything we need to do except make the time for ourselves.
I hope to be better at this in the coming months. It’s hard. So hard.
ahh yes the dueling computers! lol We do the exact same thing! Thats tough about the babysitter. We are lucky in that respect. She will watch him whenever we want, but most of the time I am happy being home. We don’t want to take advantage either. I stay home with our son, but I can imagine if I was gone all day how precious the evening hours would be with him. I think sometimes you just have to take a moment and remember your marriage is important too!