Once you pop out a kid people begin to ask when to expect number 2. Most are polite and at least wait a few months, but I promise you it begins early. Then, once your friends begin to have more children the pressure really starts. “What about you??” My best friend is pregnant with number two, so obviously that means that need to follow suit and get preggers….ummmm NO! We don’t have to do everything together people! That is why I want to state here and now why I am not ready for number 2….Yet….
I am being completely honest when I say I have ZERO baby fever what so ever. Not an ounce. Actually, I kind of feel bad for the stress that is about to enter the lives of some dear friends. Of course it’s a blessing, but I remember very well how overwhelming it can all be. I am having the BEST time with my son each day, and I am not ready to share him, and I don’t think he’s ready to share me. I feel he deserves all my attention, and I don’t believe I’d be good at splitting my attention with him at this age. I know soon enough he’ll be doing more things on his own, and until then I want to provide him with all of me. All day every day.
Being that my life’s goal is to be a mom I am in no rush to “get it over with”. What’s there to “get over” when I am doing what I plan to do for years to come? I want to enjoy this one on one time with my son. I know that once there is a new baby there will be a lot less time for me to enjoy the “quiet” moments with my son. The new baby will have to be nursed, rocked, and in my head all of that time will not allow me to play with Christian as much as I’d like. I just can’t wrap my head around how I’d do it?
I get stressed out easily. I was lucky with the amount of sleep Christian gets, but what happens if number 2 doesn’t sleep? A tired mommy is a cranky mommy (at least when it comes to this mommy). I’m just not ready to be cranky!
I was three years apart between my sister, and she was 3 years from my brother. We all got along great, and I am thankful. My mom talks of how much she loved the time with each of us. I want that too. I don’t want any moment to be too much of a blur.
I remember all too well the stress that comes along with actually getting pregnant. I remember what it felt like to suffer a miscarriage, and I remember all the feelings that went along with “trying” to get pregnant. I was sad for so long then, and I am not ready to feel the stress again. I know it may not be like that…but I know it could…so I am just not ready to go there.
I am sooo very happy with my life just the way it is…right now. We are selling our house and hopefully finding our new home. I want to focus on that for now. I want to enjoy this summer and have fun. Most of all The Captain and I are on the same page, and both want to wait. Phew!
I get that “the heart doesn’t split it just grows bigger” when you have more kids. I just wanted to write about MY choices and I promise this isn’t a judgment against others. I know when the time comes, and I do in fact get pregnant I will be truly blessed. Hey, maybe God will give me a surprise, and if that happened I’d welcome it. BUT…..I am not going to try for it! I just hope that Christian gets to be an only child a little longer. I’m sure the baby fever will hit eventually…until then I’m just happy!