Before Christian was born I was terrified of labor, and people used to tell me “don’t worry, you will forget”. To them I said “Ya right!”. Then I went through labor, and although the outcome was the most amazing thing ever, I won’t lie and say that it was anything but traumatic. After that people STILL told me that I would forget, and at the time I couldn’t imagine how that would be possible, but amazingly enough I have forgotten a lot of it. Not just about labor, but also about many of the struggles of life with a newborn. Now? As I reflect on the last year I can mostly remember the good times. It’s crazy, but you do forget.
When it comes to labor, I know in my head that it was awful, but somehow my mind has allowed me to forget. It must be a defense mechanism because otherwise women would NEVER do it again. For a while after giving birth I could remember everything about the pain. Even the contracting of my uterus days afterwards while nursing quickly brought me back. Now, it kind of seems like it happened to someone else.
The newborn stage although amazing is also challenging and EXHAUSTING! Sometimes as I sit and rock my son to sleep I try to think back to the days when I was feeding every 2 1/2 hours. I spent a lot of my day nursing and it’s weird for me to think about it because what I now remember is the special bonding times while nursing, and not the exhaustion. Did I really survive all those sleepless nights? Nursing for the past few months has been easy peasy…that’s what I remember, and that motivates me to do it again with my future child. I am only reminded of the hardships of breastfeeding when I read all my breastfeeding posts. Luckily I do not think of it often. I prefer to remember it as an entirely joyful experience.
The first year in my son’s life has been somewhat of a blur. I am so thankful for videos, and for my blog so that I can look back and remember. Otherwise, I see how easy it is to forget so many of the little things. I have a feeling it will only get worse as time goes on. For now I can look back on this first year remember only the good things. Labor happened to someone else (or maybe that stork really did deliver my son), my son always slept through the night, and breastfeeding was a piece of cake. Why not!?