Since I have been pregnant it seems that I have been neglecting my wifely duties. It started in the beginning when most foods other than cereal and fruit grossed me out, therefore cooking was a huge challenge. Then farther into the first trimester I was just so exhausted that by the end of the day the last thing I wanted to do was cook and clean. And now that I am feeling better, in the 2nd trimester, all I can seem to want to eat is take out and anything with the main ingredient of FAT! Not to mention that I still have no desire to clean. Where is that nesting instinct??? I’ve been such a bad wife!
Everyone says to enjoy pregnancy and to think about yourself because once the baby is here you will never again have the opportunity. So I take that advice very seriously. I feel like instead of wondering what my husband would want for dinner, I now just focus on what I want. What foods would make ME happy. When I’m tired I lay down. Even if that means that house doesn’t get straightened up at the end of the day. I sometimes wonder how I will do it once I am even more tired and have a crying infant stuck to my boob. I guess you just figure it out?
The Captain and I used to always have date nights. To be honest I can’t tell you the last time we had one. It’s not that we don’t spend time together…we actually spend a lot of time together….it’s just that our hanging out time isn’t the most “romantic”. Why? I don’t know? Like I said we eat dinner together every night, we watch our TV shows together, we spend the weekends together (most of the time with other people), so we aren’t lacking interaction. It just seems that his desire to want to “live it up” as much as possible before Pooh Bear arrives, and my desire to sleep leaves the romance department a little lacking.
Cleaning? Forget about it! I really, really really wish my nesting instict would kick in because a clean house would be great right now. Instead I just look around and panic about all the STUFF that will soon fill the house. When I think of it that way I become overwhelmed and choose to sit on the couch rather than make progress. Not the best battle tactic I know, but it’s all I’ve got right now.
So all in all I feel like I’ve been a bad wife. Am I selfish? Maybe? Is it normal? I sure hope so! Maybe, since I recognize it I can try to do something about it. I’d say Captain Awesome had a good whole year of my focus being purely on being a wife. The 2nd year was spent trying to have a baby, and the start of this 3rd year is all about me and Pooh Bear. Soon I will be out of the equation and it will be all about Pooh Bear. Time to start trying to be the Good Wife again!
wow…this was an enlightning post. my hubby and i have been discussing adoption (which we both really want to do) or natural pregnancy (which i don’t really want to do) because I don’t think i’d be one of those wives who’d be enjoying their pregnancy!
I have been feeling the same way. Hubs wanted to go out to dinner last night and I had to say no because of my morning sickness. Cleaning…I could care less about. Thankfully my hubs stepmom helped clean the house when she was visiting this weekend.
in the beginning I was the worst! I had such food aversions that even the thought of some food made me want to puke..lol I was lucky that I never did ACTUALLY get sick…but I certainly felt like it sometimes!
Amen sistah. I have the same problem. So frustrating feeling so guilty about it. I wish I had a solution.
No solution here either! lol I’m trying to make more of an effort while I am still feeling good!
But sometimes the best moments are just eating takeout and watching TV together ?
Hire a cleaning lady for a day!!
Don’t worry about not having a clean house. I mean, whatever you’re feeling is ok – if that means not nesting, then awesome! I wouldn’t worry about it. Enjoy it!
You are not alone. The first and third trimesters were like that for me. Althought I did “nest” a lot. I didn’t have the desire to cook like I use to and it never came back LOL It’s ok, rest now and enjoy the peace and quiet!
I think it’s okay to think about yourself during this time. I’m not pregnant, nor do we have kids, and I still don’t cook ? You are not a bad wife!
I never nested in either of my pregnancies. It’s okay. And as for being a bad wife… I’m sure your husband understands.
You are not alone. I look in the kitchen and if I see a pile of dishes, it is almost a coin toss if I will touch them. Once I get off of work, I have no energy. I am carrying very low with my baby, so half of the time when I come home I just want to curl up in the bed. I try to catch up on housework during the weekends. My hubby understands, he knows it wont last forever. When I am able to stay at home full time, hopefully I will be able to accomplish a lot more chores. Right now with me working everyday getting home after 6:30p, it’s hard to fold clothes, cook, and clean and still be in the bed by 10p. No way. LOL!