I am not proud to admit it, but since we are all friends here I feel that I can share. Here goes….I am one of those people who has always judged other people’s choices, and I was/am one of those people who tend to judge other mothers. It’s not right, and no matter how hard I try I can’t help it! But now that I am a mom I am doing my best to do it less, because it’s just not right. I am finding that the things I have judged in the past I am now doing myself. It’s true! But I promise I am changing my ways. Now if you ask me to give advice to a new mom I have my saying down….it’s generic and boring but it’s true…..Never Say Never
I have always thought I would be able to choose my child’s bedtime. When friends would tell me that their kid went to sleep at 6:30 or 7:00 I thought to myself…boy is that early. Why would they put their kid down so early? Well fast forward to my sons witching hour which started anytime after 5:30 and I learned very quickly that he chose his bed time..not me.
I always thought mom’s who were strict about schedules for their kids were just crazy. What’s the big deal? Well the big deal my friends is that kids like schedules. They like routine, and when you stray from that routine you are bound to pay for it later. I have found that it’s not a mom being crazy, it’s about doing whatever you can to keep your calm and happy. Schedules can definitely help with that!
Picture this…you are in a store…minding your own business when you hear a loud scream. You look to your right and you see a little kid throwing a fit. I don’t know about you but I always thought…control your kid! I still tend to do that because I want to believe that I won’t allow my child to do that, but as time moves forward I start to wonder. Will I be that mom someday? Probably..lol. My own mom wouldn’t put up with it. She had the look, and the gritted teeth that stopped us in our tracks. I hope to mimic that look one day. For now I will just try not to judge.
The bottom line is that we all just do the best we can. It’s easy to look at someone else and question their choices, but you have no idea how you will act when the tables are turned. So I am learning to Never Say Never! I recommend you trying it too. Being a mom is hard enough. Being judged by others just makes it that much harder!
I have to admit, I have those exact same thoughts in a store or restaurant where a kid is freaking out and the mom is doing nothing to prevent it. You never know what that other family is like, so you really shouldn’t judge. I think your mantra is a good one – and one that I should adopt as well!
It’s hard not to judge, but I am finding very quickly that you dont’ know how you will react in a situation until you are there!
When you see parents who do not keep kids on a schedule, you suddenly HEART the parents who do. ?
I can totally see that! ?
Good post & I agree ? Both on the judging part and the sleep/schedule part. I often say I am a slave to sleep. Some kids adjust better with no nap, up late, etc. Not mine. Without nap= crazy. Late to bed (after 6:30/7) torture for mommy lol. I was the mom who got made fun of that she went to bed by 5:30 up until a year lol. That helped to keep my sanity…
And there is no need to torture mommy! I too thought you were crazy for putting her down at 5:30, but I now know that babies choose when they want to sleep! not the other way around! anything to keep sanity is good!
With baby #3 on the way any day now it has become increasingly easier not to judge other parents while out and about. Things that would’ve made me do a double-take when I just had 1 (or none) don’t even get my attention anymore these days.
The other day a 3 year old was throwing a tantrum at Whole Foods, in the past I know I would’ve been thinking “Lady! Do something with your kid!” but now? I just smile kindly at the mama because I know it isn’t any fun being her and move on.
I think ‘Never Say Never’ is a good mantra for all of us ?
well, i think there’s a fine line. what you USED to do is considered judgment i guess…but it was from a different side of the fence. now you understand it’s not as simple as you once thought. HOWEVER, there are some who could use a friendly nudge in doing things sometimes. you may not be able to prevent your kid from rolling around on the grocery store floor…BUT there is a way to address it so that one day, said kid doesn’t do that anymore. some parents are waaaaaay too passive. i take my kids to many activities and some of the moms are so happy to see EACH OTHER that they don’t even pay attention to lil’johnny who is terrorizing the entire facility. but all in all…i agree with you, NEVER SAY NEVER ?