My Grandma is a wonderful woman. She has always been a HUGE part of my life, and has always given me nothing but love. She would do anything for me, and now that she is older, and needs more help I want to return the favor. See, my Grandma is 88 years old and her body is failing her. It breaks my heart to see because her mind is as sharp as a tack, but since her body isn’t cooperating anymore, we were forced to make some decisions about her care. When I got to the hospital to see her she told me “Jenny…Don’t ever get old”. I said “Grandma…teach me how and I won’t”
My Grandma and Grandpa had a great love. They were each others best friend, and when my Grandpa died 4 years ago, we were pretty sure my Grandma would die of a broken heart soon after. But to our surprise that wasn’t the case. Her mind may have wanted to go with him, but her body had other plans. She has Padgets Disease. It pretty much is a very bad case of Osteoporosis, and her bones just hurt her and are frail. She has been living with my mom on and off over the past few years, and until now has always been able to live independently at home for a length of time. But this time around her body just wouldn’t work with her anymore, and she had to go into the hospital. As many of you may know it’s very hard to live away from family, and it gets even harder when they need your help. So with this news I decided to go with my mom to take care of things with my Grandma.
I may get nervous when it comes to train schedules, but when it comes to getting things done I succeed. I am very outspoken, and I make sure things get taken care of correctly…so that was my job on this journey. I was there to keep my mom sane, and to help her make decisions about my Grandmother’s care. I have heard of hospitals just pushing the elderly aside, and I DID NOT want this to be the case with my grandma. The good news is that I didn’t have to fight with anyone…not one person! All decisions were executed exactly how we wanted them. So on the logistical end it was a huge success.
The emotional end was a bit more difficult. We decided that it would be best to move my Grandma to PA so that she could be close to my mom and most of the rest of the family (except me..sad). The hospital recommended 20 days in a Rehab facility/nursing home because she was having trouble walking. At first I was hesitant because I didn’t feel that she BELONGED in a nursing home yet. Just 2 weeks ago she was living alone! But after much thought we decided this was the best option for now. While she was going through therapy, we would find her an assisted living home close to my parents.
It broke my heart to leave her in that nursing home. She looked so little, and so scared. But I knew it was best for her health. She has 24 hour care, and people to take care of her like my mom couldn’t. I can only imagine how scary it is to be her right now…taken out of the home that you raised your family in, taken to an unfamiliar place and seeing all the sick elderly around you. I just hope she can see the bright side…1: That she is close to her family now. 2: That it isn’t forever. 3: That there are other women in there that are scared too and maybe want a friend.
So to honor my Grandma’s wishes I have decided to not get old….anyone else want to join me?
I’m sorry to hear that your grandma is having those problems. I had a similar experience with my grandma. She had a stroke and could not remember who we were most of the time. And it did break my heart to see her there, but like you, it was the best thing for her to have 24 hour care. God bless you both as you continue your journeys.
thank you so much. I can only imagine how hard it was to see her and have her not know you…I am not sure what’s worst…knowing that she’s out of it, or knowing that her mind is all there, so she knows that we had to put her in the home:(
I’ll stay young forever! That sounds great!
But on a serious note… I feel for you big time. My grandma is 86, turning 87 this August, God willing, and she is still living alone but is having some serious problems. It is ssooo hard to see family members going downhill so fast – I know – but we have to do what we can to make them safe. Right now we are trying to convince my grandma to go and live in a communtity/retirement/nursing home as well. So far she won’t have it but we’re going to keep trying . Anyways, just wanted to reach out ? xo
My grandma fought us for a LONG time…but after we let her go home and she ended in the hospital we were thankful she didn’t hurt herself…so we had to put our foot down this time..it was so hard:( Thanks for reaching out!
It’s so hard to see someone you love in pain, isn’t it? Your Grandma sounds like such a sweet lady.
There is so much information now about preventing health problems that our parents and grandparents didn’t have available to them. We are all getting older, but we can delay, and in some cases prevent, some of the age-related issues. In my opinion, we only get old when we stop learning and trying to grow.
I agree…see my grandma wants to die (as sad as it is) she is lost w/out my grandpa and isn’t enjoying life anymore. So it really saddens me to see her this way.
I know how you feel, my Grandparents (adopted me and raised me) Well my Grams has staged 4 lung cancer and isn’t doing so good right now. We are very very close and she is one of the strongest woman I know. I love her more than anything and don’t know what I will do when she goes home to Heaven. I lost my mother 4 ears ago this month, and we were very close also, and I just can’t lose another mother… Your Grandmother is in my prayers. *hugs* -Roxanne
I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandma too..They may have seen something on my Grandma’s lungs but she didn’t want to know more…I don’t blame her. I will keep your grandma in my prayers also..
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. It’s hard to watch the people we love change. I hope she’s getting the care she needs and I am sure she knows how much you love her. Your post made me a little teary eyed. Yesterday was my Nana’s birthday, she would have only been 80, and my daughter is named after her…it still stings a bit to think of her and how special she was.
Happy Birthday to your Nana…those are tough days:(
I am so sorry about your grandma and everything you and your family are going through right now. I pray that she is able to go home soon and that you are able to see and talk to her often.
I plan to call her every day…but I’m in NY and she’s in PA w/ my mom so I won’t get to see her as often as I like..so it’s very hard.
That is so good that you were able to help your mom help your grandma with this transition. It is so tough getting old – I’m with you! I think we should go on strike and not let it happen.
Let’s strike! woo hoo!!
I just went through exactly the same thing from Oct-Dec. Grandma fell and then the nursing home…which ended up being a 3 month stay and those places are just awful. She is now in assisted living and actually likes it. She, too, kept saying that she wished to die. We finally put her on anti-depressants, which weren’t my first choice, but they really helped with the despondency. Sorry you and your mom are going through this. It truly is rough on everybody.
I’m so glad to hear that she likes it! It gives me hope that my Grandma will feel that way too. She is on antianxiety…but they might switch her to antidepressants..maybe it will make all the difference! Thanks!
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s always hard to watch those that were strong and took care of us our whole lives deteriorate and not be the same. My heart goes out to you.
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma. I have only one grandma (one grandparent) left. I know how hard it is to watch someone you love more then anything go through something so hard. You and your grandma will be in my thoughts!
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