When it comes to raising the kid, I have to say that I pretty much am President, CEO, Captain….or whatever term you want to use to mean…in charge. Yes, our little guy has two parents, but the day to day stuff is left to me. Captain Awesome obviously gets asked about the bigger stuff, but to be honest I do most of the child rearing. That is why it really drives me crazy when he decides to come home and “suggests” how I do my job. Doesn’t he know that Mommy knows best?
The other day he came home from work and starts complaining that the TV is on. So he says “I’m turning it off”. I said….”good luck and see how that goes”. That in turn set our little guy into an absolute tizzy. As you can imagine, after a long day being with the little guy sometimes a little TV is necessary for my sanity. I may have been able to hold strong if it were earlier in the day, but by that time I was pretty much done with the day…and a screaming kid was not what I needed. So….the TV went back on.
I find it hilarious when he has to change a poopy diaper. There have been about 7 in the past 16 months that he’s changed. Yesterday I came home from an appointment to find him trying to tell me how absolutely horrible the diaper was while I was gone. I then had to remind him that yes…..I change multiple poopy diapers every day and that I am pretty positive the one he saw that day was not in fact the worst one ever.
I have to remind The Captain regularly that somehow, me and the kid get through the day alive without his help and suggestions. How do we do it? How do I make a dinner without him reminding me to stir? How do I even make it through the day as a mom with out him? I am not always sure….but you know what? I do make it through the day. Surprise…surprise!
I love him to death but I would like him to see me come to his work and tell him how to do his job better. I have a pretty good feeling he’d tell me to go to to hell right away. Honey…I think that will would be better written if you did this….or Dear…Are you sure you want to recommend that estate plan? Baby….that life insurance plan is just ridiculous. Doesn’t he see that is sort of is the same thing? Not exactly the same….but sort of?
Don’t get me wrong. Of course it’s his son too….but I am the one that is charge of the day to day. I got it covered…and if I don’t? I am the one who has to deal with the fallout.
I am sure someday daddy will know best. Especially when it comes to having a little boy…but for now the “Monday morning quarterback” is slightly annoying. When it comes to the day to day? I got this dear….I got this…
[That space above is me breathing deeply to calm down before my response].
I am afraid I must defend the Captain on this one. Obviously you spend the lions-share of the time with your child, and obviously the two of you need to, and most likely have developed a routine that works for you. But you CANNOT tell me that because daddy goes to work 5 days a week then he forfeits his right to influence how his child is raised.
I am sure it is annoying to hear someone give you advice when they aren’t there for the tough times, and a large part of that might have more to do with how the advice is given. That being said, sometimes a fresh perspective might be helpful. It is possible that you and your baby have fallen into some habits by accident, that doesn’t mean that those habits are a priori the right ones. They very well might be, and without knowing the specific suggestions, it is probable that most of the Captain’s suggestions are poorly phrased and don’t make any sense.
As working dad’s, it’s important that you at the very least, humor us so that we feel like an important part of the process. There are plenty of deadbeat dads out there that don’t want to help or be a part of raising there children. Why would you discourage the Captain from taking an active part?
In conclusion: you got blahged!
All very valid points (I bet you didn’t think I’d say that!) You are so right…I really appreciate that The Captain is so involved in raising our son. I think it’s more when I feel he is criticizing a choice…such as having the TV on…when in reality has no idea what it’s like to be with a kid all day 7 days a week. As a matter of fact I don’t think he’s done 1 full day w/out family help ever…
BUT…that being said I do agree that sometimes another point of view, or even having him FEEL like he is part of a day to day decision could be a good thing.
It’s always good to get a male point of view ?