Dear Christian,

I can’t believe I have been writing to you for over NINE YEARS! My posts to you started when you were in my belly and you were lovingly referred to as Pooh Bear and now, I sit here and write you as you turn nine. I’m struggling. I thought 8 was hard but this one hurt. One of the first things you said to me was “I am halfway to 18”. WHAT????!! Who says that??? I am not sure you understand how fragile I am. The reason this one was so hard is because you act like a 9 year old. You are getting to be a big boy and that is very hard for me. If we are being honest I have to admit I am not sure I will make the best mom of a “big boy”. I am much better at the little boy thing and worry that as time goes on, and hugs and kisses won’t make things all better that I won’t be as good at being your mom. What happens then?

You are an amazing kid. You are funny, smart sensitive and sweet. Your teachers told me you are kind and a friend to all. That is a glowing report in my book. You can also be stubborn and overconfident. The stubbornness you get from your father. The overconfidence is funny to watch but both your dad and I agree that we can’t be the one to put you down. Life gets hard and having confidence is a good thing. I hope you keep that. Don’t let others put you down!

You are in 3rd grade this year. That’s a big one. We moved to a new home and you started at a new school. Big transitions this year. The good news is that new home is right across the street from your best friend. That certainly helped with the transition. I think you are happy in our new place. The funny thing is this will probably be the only home you remember. Can you believe we have had 3 homes since you were born?

My favorite thing is that you still love to talk to me. It happens mostly at bed time when we are snuggled reading a book. That’s when it all spills out. I hope that you always feel comfortable talking to me. It’s important to me that you always know I am there for you. Even if I don’t always have the right answers and trust me…the hard questions have already started to come. I think it only gets worse from here!

You play soccer and Lacrosse and you wrestle. Soccer is your favorite and this year you played on a travel team. It all keeps us so busy but as long as you love it we will continue.

In school you love math and hate to read. Transitioning to 3rd grade was tough with all that is expected of you academically but after a rough start I think we are figuring it all out. You are so smart and if you just applied it a little more all would be good. But what’s the fun in that right? You have to keep us on our toes! Luckily your teachers find you endearing and your effort and questions go a long way.

I will remember this year as the start of you needing me less. It’s been coming but this year I can really feel it. I can sense you entering the big boy stage and I am not prepared. Are parents ever prepared? Probably not. Especially me who just wants to keep you little forever. I warn you now I am not very good at letting go. It’s hard.

xoxoxo Mom