Morning meeting with her “class”

(This was written at the end of last week)

Here we are, the end of week two of being home, quarrantined and attempting to do school at home. That part has been easy. I haven’t complained about it too much. Thus far I have focused on all the family time, being together, and that still applies but these days I find myself freaking out. I am doing what I always do. Shut it down during a crisis….but it’s hard. I stay strong for my kids. We don’t watch the news, and we keep things light but it doesn’t mean I feel that way. I see the statistics. My kids can’t see me scared and sad but because I don’t want them to feel that way, but inside I am a mess. Funny thing is that I don’t share these feelings outwardly, then write them here and share the publicly. Not sure why…therapy?

I am torn in different directions. They say the world is between those who think we are at the end of the world, and those that think we are all over reacting. I am sure it falls somewhere in between. My brain debates both sides each day. ….all day…every day. I scrub down my groceries and let my kids ride bikes with neighbors. Each decision I make each day can make a huge difference in our lives. It’s all way too much to bear.

We are home, we are social distancing but what if that isn’t enough? At this point we are left to believe that just going to our mail box could get us sick! The numbers tick up…more and more are sick….and we wait. We wait for that word PEAK to happen. What does that look like? Will we be part of the statistic? If we are what happens?

What is a fact is that we will home for at least the next two weeks. I think they are putting us on small increments of time for our sanity. I guess I am thankful for that. Many districts across the country have closed for the rest of the school year. I am not sure my brain can handle that. For now I get to hope that life will go back to normal in two weeks. But can I tell you a secret??? I know it won’t. We can count on at least …at LEAST 4 more weeks of this quarantine. I’ll just say it…THAT SUCKS!

So that’s where we are. I’d say send help but don’t! We all need it. And continue to keep your distance and if I shy away please understand why. Life is on hold till further notice.