I have been asking The Captain to write on my blog for some time now. I thought it would be a great way for you to get to know him…well I guess I struck a cord with my last Wifey 101 post titled: Ignoring it will not make it go away, because this was the post that sparked his interest. So here is his rebuttal! Let me introduce you to Captain Awesome!
Of course my first blog post on this site is in defense of myself and all the men out there who read The Wife’s blog even though it is filled with random woman drivel. Before I stand up for myself, 2 quick notes: (1) I like to link to a lot of stuff, but they all open in a new window so click away and you can always come back to read the rest of my Ramblings, and (2) Jen is referred to as The Wife, before that she was The Fiance, and before that she was The Girlfriend…this is really how I refer to her in real life.
I am not stupid enough (enough being the prime word here) to try and defend my texting while driving, and most of the time I am not texting I am playing a game at red lights. I am here to defend myself against the nastiness that was said about us, men, in Wifey 101: Ignoring it Will not Make it Go Away.
First and foremost, I’d like to say my fish tank is 90 gallons of awesomeness, and is actually where I derive most of my power for being Captain Awesome (if you were wondering what makes up the other parts, they include drinking copious amounts of beer and scotch mixed in with a splash of wit and sarcasm – oh and don’t forget the dimples). But we are going to ignore The Wife’s hatred of the tank and talk about the underlying issues.
Nagging Wife Syndrom
According to Dictionary.com Nag is defined as,
to annoy by persistent faultfinding, complaints, or demands
Umm does this sound like this might apply to:
If you just did it the first time, or with out me asking you then I wouldn’t have to say anything at all!
While I can’t control how you feel I am sure I am less likely to have a negative response if your reminder was a little bit more gentle vs. ‘faultfinding, complaints, or demands.’
And lets be honest, the things being asked of me aren’t not being done because of hatred or malcontent, I just forgot (like that double negative, I figured if you could use word play with the word, Alter, I could use double negatives). There is no masterplan to let the garbage pile up until the rats of the world unite and take you as their bride, or “dehydrate you” by not replacing the water on the water cooler.
Maybe I was doing something more important when you asked, but most likely you asked me when I wasn’t listening. Maybe I was playing online poker, drinking the aforementioend copious amounts of beer, or just maybe, I was doing the coding, designing, editing, adding widgets and plugins that keep this amazing site so fresh and so clean.
I am not sure how this is going to get played out as our lives continue, but I can tell you one thing if either of our parents (both married north of 30 years) are any indication, you may want to relax a bit otherwise the stress is going to kill you way before it kills me (I just linked to that site because it had the word Angina in the title and that made me laugh). Besides if you die then who will tell me to take out the garbage ?
Woah, Way over 500 words and I have yet to even get to the issue that was the heart of The Wife’s post, but I don’t believe this is my fault. I mean how could it be, did you see what made up Captain Awesome? Beer + Scotch + Fish Tanks ^ dimples. Yup, I brought it to the dimple power.
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Oh my good……whatever. REALLY? No offense because I am sure you are awesome, but I have been listening to the same drivel from my husband for years. Perhaps you felt you were making wonderful points and defending yourself, but really you were proving her points further. Here is why.
1. Why should we have to ASK in the first place. Do you have to ASK your wife every single day to make dinner/coffee/lunch whatever? Do you have to ASK her to get the laundry done? Do you have to ASK her to buy presents/cards/etc for your family for their special occasions? Do you have to ASK her to do any of the stuff that she does? Maybe the fact we have to ASK at all is what irritates us enough to have a tone in our voice.
2. It is almost impossible to determine when you ARE listening because you NEVER ARE! You can probably remember the winners of the superbowl for the past bazillions years, you can remember the dumb beer commercial that was released recently, or other random and stupid crap, but you can’t remember anything she has asked you to do. And really, again, if the trash is piled up….were you not looking every single time you walked past it either? And she may very well have asked if you were listening and you said yes just to say yes. Or maybe she feels that she deserves five seconds of your attention more than the computer does. Or maybe she doesn’t understand how she can talk on the phone to the kids school, cook you dinner, feed the baby, and sign a permission slip all while noticing the dryer has stopped, but you can’t do a mindless thing like play a game and listen to one request she has made ten times now.
Whew, now where is my husband to read this?
Frugal Vicki´s last blog ..Horizon lowfat organic chocolate milk: Review & GIVEAWAY
Very good points!! I make the one about asking all the time! He’ll be like “look I put the dishes in the dishwasher” I”m like thank you…but do you hear me announce every time I do something useful in the house??? He’s just too much….lol
ditto on all your points.
Holy Bejebus, that is a lot to digest. First, Vicki, I want to thank you for assuming I am awesome. I am not that awesome, but its nice to have you on my side!
As to your first poing. I almost never have to remind The Wife to do anything because she is an amazing wife. But just because she is perfect doesn’t mean you/she should expect me to live up to her perfectness. Our government expects the top 1% to cover the bottom 70% so shouldn’t that be good enough for my household (political Zing…YES!).
As to your second point, I am actually horrible when it comes to sports stats. Not sure why, but I can’t retain, that being said lucky for us Jason below has outlined some champs from the NBA. Ignoring that tidbit about me, “It is almost impossible to determine when you ARE listening because you NEVER ARE!” Well, if I am never listening, don’t you know when I am not listening? Always.
To quote The Wife, “I am just saying”
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
THIS is what happens when you marry a lawyer, haha! Atta boy, Cap’n Awesome!
Oh, and I can’t name Super Bowl champs, but here’s the last 29 NBA champs:
1980, 82, 85, 87, 88 – lakers
1981, 83, 86 – celtics
1984 – sixers
1989, 1990 – pistons
1991, 92, 93, 96, 97, 98 – bulls
1994, 95 – rockets
2000, 01, 02, 09 – lakers
2004 – pistons
2006 – heat
2008 – celtics
and most importantly…
1999, 2003, 2005, 2007 – SAN ANTONIO SPURS
I’ll spare you who won the MVPs of each Finals
Jason @ MyMoneyMinute´s last blog ..Unemployment Benefits – Denied!
Wow that is really impressive, do you do that on your own? Football is better than the NBA though
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
Yep, straight from memory. What can I say? The NBA is my sport of choice!
Jason @ MyMoneyMinute´s last blog ..Unemployment Benefits – Denied!
I have a question. Why is it that women talk so much more than men? On the bus ride home, 9/10 it is the women yapping away the ENTIRE 25 minute bus ride back on their cell phones. Men, on the other hand are peaceful, and respectful of their surroundings.
Pls share. Thnx!
Financial Samurai´s last blog ..The Best Financial Advice I’ve Ever Heard From A Comedian
why do women talk more? My thoughts is that they have to get out all their words when they can because they know their men don’t listen! lol Plus we are in charge of doing and thinking about so many things sometimes it’s nice to just get it all out!
Maybe you’re right Jen! Then sometimes I check their fingers to see if they are married or engaged, and then I think… well, maybe if you were more quiet a guy might actually get the chance to talk to you!
I just want peace on da bus.
Financial Samurai´s last blog ..How To Apologize For An Error? Martyr Yourself!
Get an iPod and put the buds in your ears. Problem solved.
Natalie @ Hope Springs Eternal´s last blog ..Retro Friday: Nellie Does Thriller
“Maybe I was doing something more important when you asked, but most likely you asked me when I wasn’t listening. Maybe I was playing online poker, drinking the aforementioend copious amounts of beer, or just maybe, I was doing the coding, designing, editing, adding widgets and plugins that keep this amazing site so fresh and so clean.”
hahah, nice. no soup fo you captain!
Financial Samurai´s last blog ..The Best Financial Advice I’ve Ever Heard From A Comedian
Soup? I am lucky if she doesn’t change the locks on me lol
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
Gosh, this feels like the EXACT same conversation/fight we have in our household every week/month. I’m glad to know we’re not the only ones! That means that there’s just not a right solution – everyone has to approach it differently. I just wish someone could come in and wave a magic wand to fix ours because the laundry piling up is resting on my last nerve.
Jessica @ Acting Adult´s last blog ..Sometimes a weekend makes you stop and realize how good life is
You certainly are not the only ones!! lol
“Maybe I was doing something more important when you asked, but most likely you asked me when I wasn’t listening. Maybe I was playing online poker, drinking the aforementioend copious amounts of beer, or just maybe, I was doing the coding, designing, editing, adding widgets and plugins that keep this amazing site so fresh and so clean.”
No offense Captain, but these are really not great reasons not to pay attention to your wife or to do what she asks. Certainly drinking beer, playing online poker, and just plain old not listening is NOT a good enough excuse. And as much as I’m sure Jen appreciates that you keep her blog oh-so-fancy, I’m sure she’d appreciate it a bit more if you cleaned the fish tank and took out the trash, etc. Especially if she didn’t have to ask you THREE+ times before you actually did it.
Megan´s last blog ..Goals Checkin #4
Ya his excuse stinks! lol I truly appreciate him working on my blog…but I doubt that can be construed as the reason why the fish tank smells! lol
Woah woah woah…are you saying I don’t have good excuses?
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
I think that’s exactly what I’m saying.
You deserve to get nagged on by your wife!
Megan´s last blog ..Goals Checkin #4
Dear Capt Awesome
My husband and you have a lot in common, and I feel that your humor in your defense post, shows that you do not take The Wife seriously, so this does not count as a rebuttal, your using humor to hide behind, funny as it may be.
Pamela
He is hiding behind his humor isn’t he?
Your husband sounds like a fun dude? Does he want to grab a beer?
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
haha I admit I can be a nagger at times :s I really don’t want to be. Thankfully I have a hubby that is just as talkative as me. I always figure it is because sometimes he is the only adult communication I get in a day. Sometimes you want to unload to someone who is older than 4.
shanilie´s last blog ..More Kids??
I am sure! I work from home so I don’t have coworkers to chat with…I speak to my dad who is my boss..lol and The Captain. I have a lot of words to get out!
Even when I remind kindly and ask nicely with no nagging to my tone whatsoever, I still get accused of being a nag. I think that the term “nag” when used by a man to describe the reminders of a woman was thought up by a man who was feeling guilty that he didn’t pull his weight around so instead of, you know, PULLING HIS WEIGHT, he decided to start calling his wife a nag due to all his underlying guilt.
Men: If you do something when we ask THE FIRST TIME, we won’t have to ask you or remind you about it again, and you can stop calling us nags. I think that for every “nag” a man uses, we should have the right to come back with “douche”.
Yep.
Natalie @ Hope Springs Eternal´s last blog ..Retro Friday: Nellie Does Thriller
There is a lot of anger in your comment. Is it possible? and I am just looking for a possibility here, that you may not know your own tone?
For instance, no one thinks they are the idiot, but there has to be an idiot out there some where (hell it may even be me). So while you THINK you may not be nagging you, are in fact, nagging.
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
Her tone is just perfect Captain! lol She’s right! Maybe I will start calling you a Douche! lol
Okay I have a slightly different approach here
. First, I appreciate the humor you are using. I have followed and twittered away with Jen long enough to get that the two of you are very happy together and that your reply is in jest. Since my husband is also of the beer/scotch/sometimes-forgets-to listen category, I can relate. But, it’s hard when you guys forget to listen. It makes us feel like we are not important. Is this always rational? Of course not. Men and women will always view some things differently. But, if it makes one person feel bad, then it’s worth considering the point being made.
I say this as it is something we worked on. As we have had our kids, my husband learned a valuable lesson in practicing what you preach. We went many a round in me saying, you DON’T listen to me. We both got quite the surprise when our then-3 year old threw at him “I don’t have to listen to mommy because you don’t”.
Oops, huh?
(We also started editing our conversations around him a lot more– both of us!)
Ashley @ Just Another Mom of 2´s last blog ..Keeping in Touch: The Effects of Location
oh no! lol your little 3 year old said that! too funny! Definitely a lesson to your husband! yikes!
This is all in good fun, I think (I being the important part) we have an amazing relationship, which is the reason I can even hijack her blog and write a post like this one.
This Weds will be 9 years since we started dating.
Cap. Awesome´s last blog ..Ramblings of Captain Awesome – Nagging Wife Rebuttal
Hahaha this is great!! Seriously… the hubs and I get into arguements about this all the time. Our probelm is the fact that I am not as quick to do something as he is. So I dont have enough time to be able to do it ie things around the house. More so I feel like he ALWAYS has to tell me what he did around the house. To me its like a slap in the face… like WTF??!?!!? MEN I TELL YA!!!!!
Mrs.T´s last blog ..Seriously what the hell just happened?!?!?!
Hmmm that is a much better excuse than I came up with…he does it before me? RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT
So you are the slow one?? hahaha that’s great! At least you have your hubby to get things done quick!
WOW! I am getting to this post much later than I wanted to, but I’m glad because I got to read all these comments! I am planning on making my hubby read this post AND the comments. He has trouble listening to me and doing things even when he says “I’ll do it today”. Very frustrating! The good thing is, he usually makes up for it by doing something that I would usually do. (like cleaning the bathroom! He’s doing that right now while I’m on here!! LOL!) So I guess I can’t complain TOO much!
But Captain, I have to agree with Megan. Your excuses stink. (Except the working on Jen’s blog. I approve of that one!)
Sarah Ruth´s last blog ..My Husband Rocks Friday
If that man is cleaning the bathroom while you are hanging out on the blog, I’d say you shouldn’t complain, nor should you send him this post.
wow you are one lucky lady! in 9 years The Captain has NEVER cleaned a bathroom! I’d go as far to say he’s never cleaned on in his life! lol
OMW man this is what happens at my house LOL.. glad to know im not off my rocker..WTG ladies.. If it wasn’t for us women what would men do? lol
WTG Ladies? I think I have defended myself pretty damn good lol
Oh my god. I’m sorry–I’m not defending either of you with this comment, but I just have to say–that was beyond funny. And so well written! And I loved the links–they only added to the funny! I’m literally laughing out loud! Ok–sorry about all of the exclamations. But also–I love the fact that he was willing to write that. You guys likely have so much fun together–and that is what will keep a marriage together. Not a clean fish tank (though–between you and me…and everyone else reading this…that tank would have had a little ‘accident’ with a brick a LONG time ago in my house!)
Tracy A.´s last blog ..Yes Dear
I had a smile across my face about how much you liked the post…until the brick comment. That upset me, and made me tear a little.
ok–i’ve rethought my brick idea, and really, that would just make more of a mess. i take it back!
Tracy A.´s last blog ..Yes Dear
hahahaah his post made me laugh a little too..he is rather witty isn’t he? lol (don’t tell him I said that) That’s what I get for marrying a lawyer! He writes well..lol Good idea about that brick!
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