 After the Alter is a blog about my "life after the alter" meaning after being married, and the changes that go with it. I love being married, and here I share stories of my life as I learn how to be the best wife I can be and all my crazy thoughts along the way.
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You know how they tell you to be spontaneous before you have kids…and by spontaneous I am talking about travel. (get your head out of the gutter you dirty people you) Since last month was a bust, The Captain and I decided it might be nice to fly out for our favorite type of vacation…an all inclusive vacation!!! I knew it was a long shot, but for some reason I believed that a last minute vacation deal, was a last minute vacation deal no matter when it happened…but as it turns out Presidents week is an exception. Everyone pretty much laughed at me when I tried to book a trip within our budget…bummer! So we were left to come up with a Plan B….and if you know me you know that Plan B and Jen don’t always work well together. I get a plan in my head….and changing that is tough. I know I WANT to go away, but I don’t know where? So now, my spontaneous trip may not work out at all…Why? Because this girl has trouble being spontaneous.
You may ask why I am insisting on going next week for our vacation. Well if you know anything about TTC you know it’s all about timing…so you do the math. But all that aside I really do want to have a nice carefree vacation with my husband…but when you are an idealist like me, I worry so much about making the new plans that I wonder if the trip will be relaxing at all. Then I figure…we have to leave in a couple of days so I have to book the trip, make plans to have someone care for the dog, be sad that I’m leaving the dog, pack both suitcases, and hope that everything else goes smoothly. I get that only a neurotic like me has all these thoughts going through their head. Most people would LOVE that their husband is willing to go away, and that you both have the time to go away, and even better you have the MONEY to go away….so what’s the issue? I ask myself the same question every day. The issue is me, and the issue is my stupid brain.
I wanted to go somewhere warm where I could get a tan, and drink pina coladas….but since that isn’t in the cards I am stuck as to where to go? (if I want to go anywhere else) The North East is cold (and I am so TIRED of the cold). We can drive. Which can be good, and Tinkerbell can come..but do I want to spend my vacation money that way? Most of Florida is cold, the Carolina’s are cold. I have no interest in visiting the Midwest right now. We talked about California, but that is a LONG trip for a couple of days. I went to www.vrbo.com (vacation rentals by owner) and thought maybe we could rent a house in Napa Valley…but that’s scary too. I have ZERO clue about where to stay in Napa. So how do you make the best choice on where to stay? But does it even matter? Isn’t the most important thing that I am going away with Captain Awesome? Some of my favorite memories are our vacations together. Why can’t I focus on that?
So there are my crazy and irrational thoughts. If there are any guys reading this you can use this as my admitting that I can be crazy and irrational like you think all women are. Will we go away next week?? I still have NO idea. But I guess if we do go I can call myself spontaneous right?? Or is the fact that I am writing this post and considering all possibilities make it not spontaneous?? Either way…I’ll keep you posted.
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Thank you everyone who entered to win the Eden Fantasy Giveaway. The lucky winner is getting $25 to buy whatever they’d like on www.edenfantasy.com .
I picked the winner using www.random.org. Drum roll please????? (do you feel the suspense?)
Comment #37!! The winner is being contacted! I hope you pick something fun! Again thank you for entering!!
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Well month 5 of TTC has come and has gone….ya, it pretty much sucks…but since I am still going with “Everything happens for a reason” we are going to think that it’s for the best since it would’ve been tough for my sisters wedding. So we are moving on to month 6! When I first spoke to my doctor about TTC he told me that on average it takes 6 months to conceive. I would’ve been OK with being average had it not happened so fast the first time. But it looks like this time we are aiming to be average. This month we are doing some “extra” methods to help with the process. I have decided to try acupuncture. That’s right! I am becoming a voodoo doll!
I have heard from many people in the TTC community that acupuncture is a great tool. So I found a woman who came highly recommended and decided to give it a try. I have never been an alternative medicine type of gal, but in all honesty at this point I am willing to try just about anything, and if anything it’s a great way for me to relax. I found my first appointment to very interesting! The woman was extremely calming, and in the first five minutes she was able to tell me so much about myself just by looking at my tongue. To some it may sound weird, but I have to tell ya I really believed her. We spoke about my goals, and then she asked me to stick out my tongue. When I did she cringed..lol…yup, physically she cringed. She told me that nutrients are not getting my organs, especially my spleen. She told me I have stomach trouble…TRUE! That I run cold…TRUE! That I am a worrier…TRUE! And that I over think things…TRUE! She said in Chinese medicine that they check 12 pulses…and when she did mine she said my pulse was low which meant my blood wasn’t flowing well. This is why my organs aren’t getting nutrients, and my body is running cold. She told me to think of my body as a nest, and that it needs to be as warm, and safe as possible to allow a life to be nurtured there. It kind of made sense! What I liked the most out of the consultation is that she gave me ways that I could improve all of that. Whether it’s true or not I like that I feel that I can DO something! So here’s what she said….
- Cinnamon: Add cinnamon to anything you can. It warms the body, and strengthens the stomach. So I have been adding it to my toast and peanut butter in the morning. Very yummy!
- Raspberry Leaf Tea: This is to help keep my body warm, and it supposedly strengthens and tones the uterus. Making “the nest” strong.
- Cherry Juice: This has many functions but for me it is supposed to increase blood blow.
- Red meat 2 times a week to increase blood flow and to help with low Iron
- No salad or cold veggies..think warm, warm veggies, warm soup etc.
The procedure itself was much less scary than I thought. She talked to me as she did it to keep my mind off the needles. She put 4 in my stomach, 1 on each hand between my thumb and pointer finger, 3 on each leg, and 1 on each foot and one in my left ear. I was thankful there were none on my face. That may have freaked me out. But after they were all in…she left me to relax for 45 minutes. It sounded like a long time at first, but it went quick. There was soft relaxing music playing, and it was very peaceful. I probably would’ve fallen asleep, except my body was feeling like it was floating, and it felt almost like I couldn’t move my arms or legs, so I kept twitching them to make sure I could. That may have been counter productive, but next time I will know what to expect.
So I kind of liked being a voodoo doll. I accept that there is no magical thing that will get my pregnant. The only way is the old fashioned way. But acupuncture is said to help…so I say…WHY NOT??? Bring on the needles!
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Music can bring on many emotions and memories. It’s funny how you can hear a certain song, and that song transports you back in time to a certain place, or event, or even remind you of another person. Well today I was riding in my car, listening to Sirius 9 “The Pulse” which plays all 90’s music! The song that came on reminded me of the list of songs that I created in my head that I think would be appropriate songs to dance to if I was a stripper…..
Yup you read that right. When I hear certain songs I add them to my stripper song list. No, I was never a stripper, and No I never want to be…but I have an imagination, and these songs just scream stripper to me.
Here are the top contenders.
#1 was the song that I heard on the radio that prompted this random thought post. That song is “Red Light Special” by TLC
The 2nd song would be Boombastic by Shaggy.
And 3rd would be Buttons by Pussycat Dolls
Now after I got started with this post I decided to google “stripper songs” just to see if my songs showed up, and it turns out I would make a bad stripper because most of the list include rock songs such as “Cherry Pie”, or “Paradise City”…doesn’t sound very sexy to me??? But I guess thats why I’m not a stripper….
Ok…Random thought over…
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My Grandma is a wonderful woman. She has always been a HUGE part of my life, and has always given me nothing but love. She would do anything for me, and now that she is older, and needs more help I want to return the favor. See, my Grandma is 88 years old and her body is failing her. It breaks my heart to see because her mind is as sharp as a tack, but since her body isn’t cooperating anymore, we were forced to make some decisions about her care. When I got to the hospital to see her she told me ”Jenny…Don’t ever get old”. I said “Grandma…teach me how and I won’t”
My Grandma and Grandpa had a great love. They were each others best friend, and when my Grandpa died 4 years ago, we were pretty sure my Grandma would die of a broken heart soon after. But to our surprise that wasn’t the case. Her mind may have wanted to go with him, but her body had other plans. She has Padgets Disease. It pretty much is a very bad case of Osteoporosis, and her bones just hurt her and are frail. She has been living with my mom on and off over the past few years, and until now has always been able to live independently at home for a length of time. But this time around her body just wouldn’t work with her anymore, and she had to go into the hospital. As many of you may know it’s very hard to live away from family, and it gets even harder when they need your help. So with this news I decided to go with my mom to take care of things with my Grandma.
I may get nervous when it comes to train schedules, but when it comes to getting things done I succeed. I am very outspoken, and I make sure things get taken care of correctly…so that was my job on this journey. I was there to keep my mom sane, and to help her make decisions about my Grandmother’s care. I have heard of hospitals just pushing the elderly aside, and I DID NOT want this to be the case with my grandma. The good news is that I didn’t have to fight with anyone…not one person! All decisions were executed exactly how we wanted them. So on the logistical end it was a huge success.
The emotional end was a bit more difficult. We decided that it would be best to move my Grandma to PA so that she could be close to my mom and most of the rest of the family (except me..sad). The hospital recommended 20 days in a Rehab facility/nursing home because she was having trouble walking. At first I was hesitant because I didn’t feel that she BELONGED in a nursing home yet. Just 2 weeks ago she was living alone! But after much thought we decided this was the best option for now. While she was going through therapy, we would find her an assisted living home close to my parents.
It broke my heart to leave her in that nursing home. She looked so little, and so scared. But I knew it was best for her health. She has 24 hour care, and people to take care of her like my mom couldn’t. I can only imagine how scary it is to be her right now…taken out of the home that you raised your family in, taken to an unfamiliar place and seeing all the sick elderly around you. I just hope she can see the bright side…1: That she is close to her family now. 2: That it isn’t forever. 3: That there are other women in there that are scared too and maybe want a friend.
So to honor my Grandma’s wishes I have decided to not get old….anyone else want to join me?
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Valentine’s Day is near, and therefore it’s time to start thinking about what to get your loved one. You could go for the tried and true jewelry or candies, but this year, why not go for something a little sexy to add some spice. I have done a review of Eden Fantasys in the past, and when they asked me to do another one, I thought that Valentine’s Day was a perfect time of year to bring this fun website to my readers again.
This time when the company asked me what I would like to try, I went a different route then I did last time. Last time I tried out their lingerie and LOVED it! This time I had them send me the Inttimo Massage oilin the Forbidden fruit scent, and the Illume Pearl aromatherapy candle. I thought both of these items were appropriate to talk about in public:) The massage oil smelled WONDERFUL and could be used for a massage as well as bath oil. It really made for a nice massage. The candle was great too! It’s a soy based candle, and made the room smell wonderful. It added just the right touch to set the mood. I really like their website because it has something for everyone…from sexy and romantic…to oh my goodness make me blush raunchy. But I guess there is a little bit of both in all of us right?
Now for you my wonderful readers…Eden Fantasys is offering a $25 gift card to the winner of this contest! How fun is that? That way you can get your sweetie whatever you’d like! The contest is going to run from Monday February 1st through Monday February 8th. That gives you a week to enter, and enough time for the winner to order their gift before Valentine’s Day! Here’s how you can enter….
- The first and most important way to enter is to go to the Eden Fantasys Website and let me know what you might use your $25 gift card to buy if you won. (don’t worry I won’t judge you! lol)
Here are some ways to get extra entries into the contest…
- Publicly become a Google Friend of After The Alter, and then comment telling me. (Look to the right side bar and click the word FOLLOW)
- Become a fan of After the Alter on the facebook fan page. Then comment that you did!
- Follow @afterthealter on Twitter and stop back to let me know that you are.
- Follow @edenfantasys on Twitter and stop back to let me know that you are.
- Tweet about this giveaway, then copy and paste the link in a comment. You can copy and paste “I just entered to win a $25 Gift card to @edenfantasys from @afterthealter You should too! http://bit.ly/bcto6ypls RT!”
To help you out, Eden Fantasys has put together a list of Gift Ideas that you could purchase with your $25 winnings! Check it out!
Under $25
Incognito Lipstick Vibe – $24.99 - Masked in the perfect disguise and weighing almost nothing, the Incognito lipstick vibe looks the part almost to a tee-from its size to the twist-base to the actual lipstick. So be it your roommate, a family member or boss you’re keeping in the dark, this sneaky and cleverly disguised little toy will be no more conspicuous than your pocketbook or cell phone. More discreet massagers
Heart Shaped Ice Tray – $5.99 – Add a little romance to your next casual meal by popping a few of these in your lover’s drink. Twelve heart-shaped indentations let you make sweet shapes in ice, gelatin, and more! More gifts and gags
Candy Bra – $10 – The perfect accessory to our unbelievably popular Candy G-String is the new Candy Bra. Each Candy bra feature no less than 330 fruit-flavoured candy pieces, and at just 40 calories, strung together to form a wearable piece of underwear. One size fits most. The Candy bra is a novelty that doesn’t come in different sizes. More sensual wear
Candy G-String – $10 – The candy necklace of your childhood gets an erotic upgrade with this super-sweet and super-sexy Candy G-String. Each Candy G-String feature no less than 330 sweets, strung together to form a wearable piece of underwear that no man, or woman for that matter could possibly resist. One size fits most. The Candy G-String is a novelty that doesn’t come in different sizes.
Pink Lubricant- $19.99 – Designed to ensure maximum comfort on the female body, this silicone-based lubricant provides sensuous lubrication and moisturizing effects for comfortable penetration. Made with vitamin E and aloe vera, this smooth lube is safe for use with condoms, completely hypoallergenic, and easy-to-clean.
Sugar Lips – $8.99 – Sugar Lips is the newest line of lipstick for adventurous women and their lovers by Erotic Cosmetics. Available in 6 tantalizing flavors and colors, these lipsticks will enhance your pout and make your kiss delicious as can be. Comes in 6 flavors. More bath and body
Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games – $15.99 – To warm up, four games will get your motor running. Finish the fantasy asks you to use your imagination to complete a sexy story. Dirty truth or dare and titillating trivia games step up the slumber-party staples with sexy challenges. The get him hot game will make him endure various sensual teases without being able to tease back. Once you’re ready for more playful pursuits, three more games will make you grin and get you in the mood for love. More love games
Guide to Getting It On – $24.95 – Explicit, encyclopedic, and totally accessible, Guide to Getting It On! is regarded as one of the best how-to books on sex ever written–and certainly the most fun to read. This new commemorative edition doesn’t disappoint. Along with the tips, techniques, positions, inhibitions, photographs, and slang terms from earlier editions, it includes over 100 new pages on a wide array of topics. More sex guides
Bwarm Massage Candle- $21.85 – The bwarm is a rose scented massage candle that smells great, yet isn’t overpowering. The modern flexible holder allows the warm wax to easily be poured onto the skin. It massages in very nicely and leaves a light scent and your skin feeling amazing. More sensual products
Satin Wrap 3-Piece Bra Set – $17.99 – Slip on this sheer ensemble for a night to remember. The sexy red top features chiffon cups trimmed with small scalloped lace, and satin ribbon to wrap around your body. The comfortable shoulder straps are adjustable for a secure fit. The soft chiffon skirt has an elastic waistline on the back, and satin ribbon on the front. More lingerie
Heart-On Bullet – $7.99 – This small bullet delivers intense love buzz through the pattern of cute little hearts. It makes a great gift for a sex toy beginner or as a small Valentine day treat.
Hot Lips Pasties – $14.99 – Show only what you desire with the help of these sexy little pasties. Whether you’re looking for just a little coverage, or just don’t want to wear a bra, these are comfortable to wear and stay on even in the water.
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It’s official…if you need me you can now find me on my couch for pretty much the rest of the winter. I love my couch in general, but when the temperatures drop below 30 it is pretty much impossible to get me out. I’m not proud of it. Not by any means. But it is what it is, and this hermit is happy just being at home.
So you all will know where to find me. If you think you are getting me out then I suggest tricking me with lots of alcohol…sometimes when that happens I FORGET how much winter sucks and will leave my cave.
For now I will wear warm clothes, my slippers and snuggle up with my man and my dog so I can hibernate the winter away. Come get me when it’s Spring!
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I am a huge fan of Oprah. People can say what they want, but when she focuses on a topic she makes a difference. For some reason, the way she puts things out there makes me want to better myself and the world. (sad but true) As a matter of fact, after the episode about the importance of going green, and the garbage that is piling up in the Pacific Ocean I began recycling, I stopped using paper plates, and I use paper towels much less. Wednesdays episode had a similar affect on me. In this episode she spoke about the book Food Rules, the movie Food Inc,and featured Chipotle. The images were shocking, and she made me want to join what she called ”A Food Revolution”.
I eat bad…I mean really bad. I make efforts sometimes, but even the food I THOUGHT was good really isn’t! I have heard about buying organic, or free range, but how can I afford it? But after seeing this episode of Oprah, I have to ask myself what is it costing me health wise?
photo courtesy Food Inc.
Check out the picture of the two chickens. Both are 33 days old…but the one on the right is filled with hormones to make them bigger faster! They also said that people want so much “breast meat” that they engineer the chickens to actually have BIGGER BREASTS! Doesn’t sound very natural to me! How about these statistics??
Although “real” food is often more expensive, Michael says you either pay for real food now—or pay the doctor later. In 1960, Michael says 18 percent of our national income was spent on food, and only 5 percent on health care. Today, he says 9 percent of our income is spent on food and a whopping 17 percent on health care. “The less we spend on food, the more we spend on health care,” he says.
It’s so true! When I shop I buy the cheapest milk, the cheapest chicken, and the cheapest vegetables. What I found most interesting is what he said about what eating this is going to do to our health in the future. Do we even know? Do we want to eat chickens that are treated like this????
I have heard that the easiest way to start to change the way you eat these items is to buy Organic Dairy, Fruit, Vegetables, free range chickens, and grass fed beef. Could doing that be so hard? Will it really cost THAT much more? But if it does cost THAT much more, is my health worth the extra dollars???
This figure saddened me a bit…
This issue extends much farther than your local drive-thru. It’s also affecting our local supermarkets. Michael says experiments have found that $1 can buy you 1,250 calories worth of food in processed food aisles. “Take the same dollar to the produce aisle? You will get only 250 calories of broccoli or carrots,” he says. “We’ve made it rational to eat badly.”
How bad is that? But it’s so true! It’s expensive to be healthy! And how can we stand for that? We are such a fat, and unhealthy country….why do we do this to ourselves?
So maybe this was an eye opener for me. The Captain thinks I will buckle once I see how much it really costs to eat the way we are supposed to. To me that just spells CHALLENGE! So I am challenging myself to do better. I want to do what Oprah calls LEANING towards change. That means taking it slow and making small steps, but in the end small steps could equal big change. So who’s coming with me?
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I have random thoughts going through my head ALL the time! Sometimes I vocalize them, and some I keep to myself because they are just that ridiculous. This week my mom is in town visiting and I have been very busy with her, and therefore I haven’t gotten to write a post. So I am taking this opportunity to throw out one of the random thoughts I had last week…….
Who was the first person to figure out what foods to eat, and what foods will kill you???
Ok really…who looked at a banana and knew that if you opened it a yummy fruit was inside. Same with a pineapple?? I mean the outside is so hard and scary…but inside it was the sweetest fruit! Mushrooms? I mean they can kill you, or send you into psychedelic fits? What kind of trial and error system was there?
Ok…random thought over. Don’t worry, I am sure I will have more to share in the future.
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Ok..I have a confession to make. I think it’s important to be open and honest about your shortcomings, and I am ready to share with you one of mine. It’s not something I am proud of, but honestly, at this point I don’t think I will change any time in the near future. So hear goes….I REFUSE to grocery shop where I KNOW the prices are better, and I REFUSE to shop at multiple stores just because there are sales. Phew! Ok I said it out loud.
I consider myself a frugal person. I think many people that know me would think the same thing. But when it comes to the grocery store issue I just can’t budge. See, I have complained over and over again about the crowds and the traffic in the area where I live, and that it turns out that same gripe travels over to the crowded grocery stores. We have a few main ones in the area…Stop and shop, waldbaums, and Shop Rite. Of those 3 the best prices hands down are at Shop Rite. But are good prices worth my sanity??? I mean there are fights for parking spaces, tons of people, the aisles aren’t big enough for 2 carts to pass each other, and everyone is always in a sour mood. Sometimes I decide that I should suck it up and go, and each time I leave feeling EXTREMELY angry. So why do it to myself??
If you want to really save money on produce and meats there is a place called Johns Farms here in my area. It’s a store that only takes cash or check, and you have to pay for the shopping carts (I’m sure you know places like this) but the prices are REALLY good. Or so I’m told. I have tried on multiple occasions to shop here. I get in my car and drive..and when I get there I find a line of cars at least 5 deep waiting for spots. It is then that I turn right around and leave. SERIOUSLY??? I mean it’s not like they are waiting for close spots…there isn’t a spot to be had in the whole lot! My Mother in law goes there a lot but she goes at like 7 am! There is no way I care enough about going to a store to go that early. I feel like I shouldn’t have to time my shopping to NOT have to wait in a car line 5 cars deep. I want to go when I want…not when it’s convenient.
So my store of choice is stop and shop. They have descent prices, and I have a much more pleasant shopping experience. My cart easily passes through the aisles, I don’t have have to fight for parking, and I love that I can put my deli meat order into an automated machine and pick it up after I am done shopping. I am sure that when my family gets larger I will need to suck it up and do what I have to in order to save money on food. But for now, even if I am spending a little more, I choose my sanity over frugality. Ok…confession over.
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