dream home

First off, let me say no…we are not looking at homes like the one in the picture…I wish! When I moved my current home I saw it as a “for now” home. It’s a townhouse, two bedrooms, and I just felt like we would’ve grown out of it pretty quickly. Now, five years later we are still here. It became a home that I never thought it would, and I love it here. But, love of the home isn’t enough for me at this point. We are quickly growing out of it, and it’s time to move on. That’s right, Captain Awesome and I are going to be making a big move soon, and I am absolutely terrified. Terrified for many reasons, but a main one being I am not entirely positive our marriage will survive this process. Fingers crossed….because it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

The original plan was to put the house on the market in the fall of 2011. That time came and we decided the new year would be best. Then, the new year came and we panicked so we picked the arbitrary date of March 1st to put our house on the market. When I say “on the market” I am using the term very lightly. I can’t go into all the details, but since bought this house with a special program we can not sell it on the open market. So to get our house “on the market” means to right a letter. That means THIS WEEK we will be doing that.

I have never truly loved Long Island (still don’t), and a major reason is the ridiculously high housing costs. You pay so much for so little here, so I have always known it would be hard for me to search for a house. The Captain on the other hand is a Long Island boy through and the high house price tag doesn’t seem to bother him as much. So enter the first problem…..

The second problem? I am emotional. I guess being a woman will do that to you! So I know full well that selling my home will make me emotional, and finding a house I like will be even worse. Even though there is a waiting list to buy in our neighborhood, it doesn’t mean selling will be easy. People in our neighborhood have sold with in 3 months….others it took over a year to sell. Can you see how that’s a problem? Therefore, The Captain and I have decided to totally sell first…..then put up offers. Where does that leave us when we sell? Moving in with my in laws. Now we have problem 3.

I am sooo appreciative that we have the opportunity, and a place to go when we sell. My hesitancy has nothing to do with the in laws themselves, it has to do with the fact that I have lived on my own since I was 23. Now, I will be moving into someone else’s home, so an unknown amount of time. The Captain will go to work each day….and I will just be at their house out of my element. That scares me.

I am well aware that I will want to rush every part of this process. I will get anxious and want to sell, and then I worry that due to being scared of not having a place to go once I do sell that I will settle on a home that I don’t love. That terrifies me. I really need this next home to be a HOME. One that I am excited about and Love. I love every other aspect of my life so I am so excited to make my next house a home. The Captain will be happy to go slow. He is more practical and calm…the complete opposite of me. Not too much scares him, and he doesn’t get anxious. The idea of moving in with his parents with no end in sight doesn’t seem to bother him, and that bothers me.

I am already losing sleep just thinking about what is ahead, and he is already losing patience with me constantly talking about it (he doesn’t really like to talk about things lol, and I like to talk them to death!). All this and our house isn’t even on the market! So this week it is. It all really begins. I just hope our marriage can make it through. It’s been a joke since we bought this house 5 years ago that we wouldn’t make it through our next home purchase…now that time is here. So wish me luck! It begins!