This Wifey 101 post is for the men. That’s right, I have male readers out there…so I figure I will write this one for you. This post is in honor of Captain Awesome. He is the king of wishing that I will just forget about things, and that they will go away. But amazingly enough they don’t. And it seems the more he just ignores the issues, or ignores something that he has to do…the more angry and obnoxious I get when it comes to reminding him and bringing it up again. So men read this part loud and clear…Ignoring it will not make it go away!
One of my pet peeves is when I ask The Captain to do something…or if there is something that is “his job” that he should do , and he doesn’t do it. And then I remind him to do it, or ask him to do it…and yet again he doesn’t do it. Then…I say it again. What happens then? He gets all angry and frustrated and makes ME feel like that NAGGING WIFE! What is that about? If you just did it the first time, or with out me asking you then I wouldn’t have to say anything at all!
What brought on this post you ask? Well The Captains smelly fish tank. He insists on having this ridiculously large fish tank. He loves it. Whatever…but if he is going to have it then he has to take care of it. (I feel like I’m talking to a 5 year old) This tank sits in the front room of our house, meaning the room that people see right when they walking the door. He never cleans it…that is until it gets smelly and makes my house stink. This is when I have to tell him to clean it, that it’s gross to have a smelly house. And it is gross! Who wants a smelly house? Especially one from a dirty fish tank?? Not this girl! I kept reminding him that he needed to buy this hose type thing to clean it, because he was always borrowing his friends. So I would ask him…did you buy it? No…then a week would go by…did you buy it? No…then, my house started smelling and he got all pissy when I told him about it and that he had to go after work to get the hose to clean it. Like it’s my fault you waited???
It goes beyond chores too. He doesn’t like to fight with me. Which can be a good thing. He knows how to calm me down. But I honestly believe he thinks that if he just ignores me the problem will go away. You’d think after 9 years of being together that he’d get the fact that it NEVER goes away. Especially if I am really upset about something…it will bubble and boil inside till I just about explode. And exploding Jen is much worse than the I’m upset Jen. If you give me enough time to fester and get more mad what do you expect? Remember my post about the marriage ref? And the term Kitchen Sinking it? Well that’s exactly what happens then. All the stuff that is inside comes out at once. Now, does anyone really want that?
Bottom line? Communication is key in any relationship. Ignoring something WILL NOT make it go away. So men…learn from this. A smaller fight now is much better than a big blow out in the future. And keep in mind that you will not have a nagging wife if you just do it the first time?! The concept really isn’t that hard. And what is more amazing is doing it with out having to be asked at all. That is a wife’s dream come true! So think it through…it’s not rocket science. If men are logical creatures why can’t they figure this out?? Hmmmm now that is the question of the day!
Photo courtesy © Tino Tedaldi/cultura/Corbis
LOVE this post. We too have a giant fish tank that is the first thing people see when they come in the apartment. One of the things that made me fall in love with D was that he religiously(even called it “Church”) cleaned it on Sundays – until we moved in together. I can totally relate, and totally agree! Ignoring us is a BAD idea! pretty much just throwing water on a grease fire. 😀
omg. We have the front room fish tank too – that is my husband’s – which goes uncleaned for way too long.
You speak for more than a few of us I think!
Oh gosh, awesome!
Dear Wifey, the captain DMed me saying “Big fish, big tank!” jk..
I really love your Blog. I’ve just started blogging and you make look easy. I love your subject, it is like and enjoyable. Good Job.
Preach on sista!!!!
OH MY GOSH! I am SO glad you wrote this!! I love it so much, (and agree with it!) that I made my hubby read it! Hehe. Hopefully he will learn something!
Oh, yes…the nagging wife. No one _wants_ to be that wife. But sometimes we have to be. My husband is so bad about not responding to an invitation or request – from me or anyone else! – if he doesn’t know or doesn’t want to do that particular thing. And then I have to ask 100 times, did you get back to so-and-so? Are we still on for tomorrow? Well, WELL? Are we?
That is why we no longer have the large fish tank in our house and I refuse to allow it again until I am given assurances that it is going to be cleaned & taken care of regularly. As of right now I do not believe that is going to happen so no fish tank. Maybe when he remembers to his things in a timely fashion without being nagged I will be okay with the fish tank.
I try not to nag but when the list of things that I need to do continue to grow exponentially because he refuses to do his things in a timely fashion, well what else can I do?
My mother rarely ever had to nag my dad about anything chore related. He learned early on in his marriage that if he just did what needed to be done he could enjoy his ‘me time’ without the wife being pissed off/upset/naggy. My dad tries to impart some of this sage advice to the men in his daughters’ households and they refuse to listen.
I wish they would listen. It is much easier to do what needs to be done, get it over & done with than have to fight about everything three weeks down the line.
Agreed! My boyfriend is the SAME way….he’s learning though. And since moving in together he’s definitely improved 🙂
I think this may have been specifically describing me and hubby. We go through the EXACT same thing with things he needs to do. And then I blow up after weeks, sometimes months of the “to-do” item hanging over our heads. At least I’m not the only one!
Oh girl, do I hear you! You could be talking about my husband. I am actually calling him in here right now to read this 🙂 I swear, I could have written this post!!
My mom figured out how to sure this. She always had to nag my dad about mowing the lawn every Saturday. One Saturday, my dad had gone somewhere, so my mom got annoyed and got the mower out herself. She couldn’t figure out how to work it and got so frustrated she just left it there.
When my dad came home he saw the mower and felt so guilty that she hasn’t had to ask him again ever since!
Good luck 🙂