When I started this blog, my main goal was to share about my life as a wife. I was newly married, and I really strived at being a good housewife. Why was it so important? Well, it’s because it was what I wanted to be…I work for the money, but I really feel/felt that my calling was to be a wife and mother first and foremost, and at that time I was really able to focus on the “wife” part, so that’s what I did. Over time the blog kind of transformed along with the different paths my life decided to take. Now, I am finally a mother, and loving every second of it…but with all my energy now going into taking care of our child, I feel that my duties with work and around the home have really lacked. I think it’s time to create a new balance in my life to mirror all my new roles….mother, wife, maid, cook, sales person….well you see where I am going.
As you may or may not know I work from home, so for a while that made me a “Work At Home Wife” . Now, not only am I home taking care of our child, I also need to keep up my work load.. so I guess that now makes me a “Work At Home Mom”. I think this is a little different than a SAHM because it adds just one more dynamic to the mix. I know in the long run that I am so very lucky to be able to work from home, but that meant immediately after having my child I was taking work phone calls from the hospital. It also means that I do my work while my son is feeding on my breast, being burped or taking a nap. Basically, any moment that has him quiet. It is a great set up for me and my family, and I know I am lucky to be able to do it. But with our son being my top priority…sometimes work becomes a little more difficult. I am lucky my boss (my dad) has been picking up my slack!
The Captain laughs at me when I try to take on a task rather then having someone else help. Tasks like grocery shopping or bringing in the dry cleaning. My answer to why I don’t want someone to watch the baby while doing these things is “I have to figure it out”. I do! It’s going to be my job to do these things…I want it to be my job, so I have to learn to do it myself WITH the baby. Isn’t that what SAHM’s do? My mom was a SAHM of 3 kids and was able to do everything involving the house. I want to be able to do that too. If that means a bit of a learning curve so be it…I’m up for the challenge.
Things like grocery shopping and cooking are more of a challenge now. I still haven’t figured out how to bring the infant seat into the store and still be able to do a large shopping trip…anyone suggest how that works? If you put the seat into the cart where does the food go? If I bring in the stroller how do I push the cart? For now I am using Pea Pod, the Stop and Shop Grocery delivery service. They are offering free shipping for the next 60 days so that should give me some time to figure it all out. For now, it’s great shopping online and having the groceries delivered to my door. Cooking? Another challenge. I try to do things when the baby is sleeping but sometimes that is hard to do, and it seems that feeding time always comes right when I want to cook. See I like my food hot and served right after cooking. I’m not big on cooking earlier in the day and reheating…just not my thing. I seem to be cooking a few times a week…again, I’m still learning.
The cleaning? A smaller challenge but one none the less. The Captain was nice enough to allow us to get a cleaning lady come this past weekend to do a major clean. See, since my mom left after helping with the baby when he was born I hadn’t been able to do a major clean, and then the holidays came and the house just became a mess. Now, I think I will be able to keep up with the clean since I am starting out with a clean house. Let’s hope that works! If not I do my best…a spic and span house has never been my forte..
So as you can see I am learning. I am learning to balance all the aspects of my life, or at least trying to. The one major thing is that everything else is secondary to taking care of my son. That will always come first. The rest can wait if it needs to.
You’re learning, just like you should be. It sounds like you’re managing, but it’s just getting used to a new situation. I think you’re going to be great at doing all three jobs – wife, employee and mom!
Thank you for the vote of confidence!
doesnt the baby seat fit in the front portion of a grocery cart?
It can fit but it not a safe and secure.
If it makes you feel any better, I don’t have an infant to take care of, and when I read your sentence ‘tasks like grocery shopping or bringing in the dry cleaning…’ I actually gasped aloud, as I forgot to pick up my husband’s dry cleaning on my way home today! So see-being ANY kind of wife is difficult…aside from, perhaps, ‘a bad one’! ha!
best of luck to you. i’m sure you’ll get the hang of it sooner than you suspect!
I have no tips on 99% of the stuff you just wrote because Im in the same boat. Trying to figure out how to balance it all.
I do have one suggestion which Im sure you’ve already heard. Babywearing while grocery shopping makes life 100 times easier. During the Winter it keeps the baby nice & warm up against your body & in the summer it keeps them a lil toasty while walking around the supermarket. It is a lot safer than having the seat in the cart. It is the only way Im able to go grocery shopping with a growing toddler.
Keep up the good work! Olivia is 16 months and I’m still learning. I can give tips though as a WAHM (SAHM for 12 months and then back in Sept). It’s TOUGH and I’m lucky Mike is home a decent amount during the day to help. Grocery shopping, for me, is not possible with Olivia for a big trip. Go early on the weekend or late during the week and leave the baby home. A good idea for meals is to buy some prepared- we have a great market near us that I’ll pick up healthy, homemade items when I don’t have the time. Also, making a big batch of easy things- pasta, chicken, rice, soups and keeping for the week is key. Freezing stuff is good too. You & Evan will figure it out. It’s impossible to do it all alone, esp WAHM, so you NEED to split up responsibilities at home for it to work (and you to keep your sanity)!! I’m here if you need tips ? xo
I can be tough, but I learned early on to ask for help! Wearing your baby on shopping trips is a life saver. I do it all the time and he goes to sleep in less than 30 seconds. We hired a housekeeper recently, so I can take that off of my to do list now. Thank goodness. My husband travels a lot (gone 3 days out of 5) so we are looking at hiring additional help where I need it. The more support I have, the better mother I can be for my baby!!
For cooking, have you thought about using a crock-pot/slow cooker? You can do AMAZING things with one. One of our favorites is crock-pot lasagna and it’s just as great as baking it in the oven…except for maybe smelling it’s tastiness all day. ?
I LOVE Crock Pot Lasagna!! yummy!! You are right…crock pot is a great option. I should use it more..
Jen:
It’s so great to see you writing about your “life after the alter”. It’s such a cute concept. I can appreciate the delicate balance that being a housewife requires. I really want to join your community now!
– Hawlie