Although I am new at the parenting thing, I can only guess that one of the major goals is to do your best to not screw you child up too much. Although there are some horrible parents out there (so sad), I have to believe that most of the time parents make choices based on what they think is in the best interest of the kid. Whether it be food they give them, activities they do or anything else I doubt that they think that by doing that certain thing they are setting the course for bigger problems down the line. That’s what scares me the most at this point. What if what I am doing now with our little guy sets me/him up for failure in the future. How do I know I’m not screwing up my kid?
I know, I know…you parenting pros out there are saying “Do your best, that’s all you can do”. I get that…but what if just a little tweak in something I am doing can make for easier transitions in the future? Sleeping for example. I REALLY want a good sleeper (don’t we all?) but how do I get that? I know it’s all about training. But what works for one, may not work for another…so what do I do? Christian sleeps in a bassinet in my room. At 10 weeks old I am thinking it may be time to move him to his crib. Maybe both of us will get more sleep…but am I being selfish? Is it too soon? Am I robbing him of his infant stage in my room? How about when I get up to feed him at night. How do I know that he is actually crying to eat and not playing me? What if by getting up and picking him up I am setting back his sleep schedule? If I let him cry what if he’s really hungry? How do I know I’m making the right choices?
He’s such a good baby (knocking on wood), that he really only fusses and cries when he is hungry or tired. So I basically know that when he cries he is hungry. So in my mind why would I let him cry if I know what will make him stop? Some people would say that I have to let him cry and fuss sometimes, that it’s good for a baby. But is it? Or am I just setting him up to get what he wants whenever he wants it?
I know I will never know if what I am choosing to do now will come back to haunt me. I wish I could…but what can you do? I guess I am just left hoping that my choices are the right one. But my boy is healthy and seems to be happy so that’s all I can ask for.
I’m not a Mom, so I can’t answer your questions…. I think it’s wonderful to read your questions. You’re a caring, thoughtful Mom. I’d say to trust your instinct.
Yikes, what a situation! There is no right answer, as you’ve said. Every kid is different! But I don’t think giving him his food when he cries is going to train him to always get what he wants in the future! Maybe you’re overthinking it?
Just keep doing what you are doing. You are doing a great job!! Nobody knows your son better than you!!!
At 2 weeks old my daughter’s doctor told me to let her cry it out for up to an hour. I knew that this woman was very well educated, but I had to disagree with her. Instead I tried different sleep arrangements (bassinett, co-sleeping, crib, swing) until I found one that worked for both my baby and I. It turned out she slept in a swing until she was almost 8 months old and she was a great sleeper, for the most part. I know that most people would think I was crazy for letting her sleep in a swing, but it worked so why change it? I would periodically try her in her crib (which I moved down to my room) and she was finally ready for the switch at the end of her 7th month. There very little fuss because she was ready for it and I wasn’t forcing it on her. Your baby will let you know when they need something different. Just pay attention to their cues and change accordingly…and the first change you make might not be the right one. You might have to try several before you find one that works.
I guess you are right…there probably isnt really right or wrong answers sometimes. I cant believe your doc recommended crying it out at 2 weeks!
I’m a new mom just like you so of course this is just my inexperienced opinion. 🙂 But I don’t feel like if we are just attending to their needs of being fed, cared for, and loved that we could ever spoil them or make them feel like they deserve whatever they want when they are older. My pediatrician told me that under the age of 6 months you can’t spoil them. They don’t understand how to cry just to manipulate you so if they cry they need something. And I definitely am not a fan of “let them cry it out”. Our LO has reflux and can you imgaine if I had just let him cry it out? Poor baby would still be in pain. 🙁 Moving Christian to his crib when you are both ready. I got lots of responses of twitter from ladies that didn’t move their baby until 5 months! So I guess there really are no right or wrong answers. Just do what is best for you both. 🙂