First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage… Then Comes Infertility?

The old playground tune “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes so-and-so with the baby carriage” is the way every girl imagines her life will go. But what if it doesn’t happen that way? What if love and marriage come with infertility issues? Before you begin battling misconceptions, let’s explore common old wives’ tales and myths about infertility.

Myth 1: Having a baby with a donor egg doesn’t make you the biological mom.

While women who use donor eggs may not provide the eggs, they’re most certainly considered the biological mothers of their babies. Pregnancy, birth, and lactation are all biological conditions giving any mother who carries, delivers, and nurses (if she chooses) her child a biological connection to them.

Myth 2: Infertility is a psychological hurdle.

Because a woman’s eggs will mature despite her mental or physical fitness, infertility is in no way tied to psychological issues. Research suggests preexisting biological conditions are the cause of most instances of infertility in women, while psychological factors play a significantly limited role.

Myth 3: If you adopt, you’ll finally get pregnant.

This is perhaps a myth that goes hand-in-hand with myth #2—infertility as a psychological condition. Many women have heard the old adage, “Just adopt and then you’ll get pregnant.” Not only does this undermine and belittle parents who choose adoption, but it puts added blame on parents dealing with infertility. There are no statistics supporting this myth; in fact, studies have identified the rate of conception for couples who adopt is the same as couples who choose not to.

Myth 4: It’s easier to get pregnant the more “fit” you are.

Health and wellness aren’t the only factors causing infertility issues. There are plenty of women who exercise regularly, eat consciously, and limit “toxic” ingredients in their diets and still have issues getting pregnant. This is due to the natural decline of a woman’s finite number of eggs that could result in a healthy baby. While staying healthy is important for other reasons such as high blood pressure, maintaining good cholesterol levels, and reducing the risk of cardiovascular events, it isn’t the only factor to consider when trying to get pregnant. Women in their late 30s or early 40s may begin to experience difficulty with infertility because their remaining eggs aren’t as viable as they were during their younger years.

Myth 5: Getting pregnant in your 40s or later is easy. Just look at Janet Jackson!

With many women making a conscious decision to start a family in their later years, there’s been an increase in women using donor eggs. Why isn’t it as easy as celebrities like Janet Jackson make it seem? The answer is simple; many celebrities don’t share their own infertility journeys and remain private about how they became pregnant. However, the fact remains the likelihood of a natural pregnancy in a woman’s late 30s and into her 40s is less than 5%. One can assume that Ms. Jackson and other leading ladies turned to donor eggs.

Myth: a widely held but false belief or idea

It’s entirely natural to believe common myths regarding the topic of infertility. Before studies and research proved these myths to be untrue, there was nothing to stop these stories from continuing through generations. While the chances of all myths coming to an end isn’t likely – even if disproven — rest assured that if you’re dealing with infertility, you can find the answers to your questions and carve your own journey to parenthood with proper help and guidance.