In my world, Aunt’s and Uncles are direct family members. They are my dad and mom’s brothers and sisters…bottom line. Captain Awesome on the other hand uses Aunt and Uncle much more liberally. A good family friend could be called Aunt. For him it’s a way to express a closeness to a friend, and now that we have a son he wants to call pretty much everyone in our lives Aunt and Uncle…What do we do about that?
We are blessed to have close friends. Most of them are his close friends who have, over time, become my close friends, and their spouses are now both of our friends. We are definitely lucky to have them in our life. Soon enough our son will be getting to know who they are, and their names, and soon enough we have to decide what to refer to them as.
Captain Awesome wants almost everyone to be Aunt and Uncle. I honestly don’t mind it…but does our son refer to them as Aunt/Uncle when they don’t use the same terms with us? A friend that he grew up with since 10 years old may be an uncle to him, but can he be an uncle in my book?
Is it just a word or does someone have to EARN the title of uncle/aunt? Should it be used liberally, or be a term set aside for family. Sometimes friends can closer than our family….who wins out? Or do both?
Once again your husband has entirely missed the mark. Aunt/Uncle is for family or under certain circumstances (none of which apply to his friends). In this situation your son should call his close friends by their first names. End of discussion.
I agree with you! I am open to The Captains ideas…but I think it would be weird for christian to call his friends aunt and uncle and for their kids not to do the same with us? As for first names I think we should learn from the south. I want to me Miss Jen! It still shows respect..but the familiarity of a first name.
We are having this same debate in our home. DH has an ‘Uncle Richie’. He is Father-in-Law’s best friend (Since childhood through adulthood), I feel like he ‘earned’ the title of endearment. I have an ‘Tio Carmelo’ who was the partner of my mom’s brother (‘real uncle) for most of my childhood. He became a part of our family and now that he and my uncle are no longer together? The title still sticks. Still DH uses Aunt/Uncle VERY liberally with everyone is a family friend. I feel like it doesn’t really work like that. Like either the kids themselves call someone who is always around Aunt/Uncle or the person sort of earns the title over time.
I guess it doesn’t REALLY matter but it’s definitely interesting to see all the different perspectives on it. Sheesh I have a gazillion REAL cousins and about a dozen ‘fake’ ones because of the same thing. lol
You are right It doesn’t REALLY matter…so I am open to his ideas here, but I still think you need to EARN the name aunt or uncle…not just because I knew you as a friend for years, but because CHRISTIAN knows them well and they know him
In my family (and my husband’s) only the aunts and uncles are called Aunt and Uncle. HOWEVER, there is ONE exception. My mom’s very best friend (as in, they went to each other’s 1st birthday parties) is my “Aunt” Terri. And, when she was married, her husband was “Uncle” Bob. They were just that close that Aunt T and my mom were like sisters, so she was an honorary aunt. All my parents’ other close friends were “Miss Barb”, “Miss Cindy”, etc. The men were always referred to by rank and last name, simply because most of my parents’ friends were military. I think it’s a Southern thing, to call people “Miss Whatever” or to have honorary aunts and uncles. We were NOT allowed to simply drop a “title” and call an adult by their first name alone; it simply wasn’t done! And when my little guy is old enough, my very best friend (and the closest thing I have to a sister) will become an “aunt” too!
I like the southern way! I want to be Miss Jen! Like you said…shows respect but still is familiar with the first name.