Comments on: Wedding Gifts..How Much Is Appropriate?

By: Julia

Julia — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 00:44:39 +0000

I’ve been trying to figure this out, too–it does seem like weddings come in waves. For me, a lot has to do with how close I am to the bride and groom. The closer I am, the more I’ll spend and the more thought I put into the gift. It’s tricky, though!

By: Melissa Multitasking Mama

Melissa Multitasking Mama — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 21:39:08 +0000

My hubby and I got married years before most of our friends and when they did start getting married, it got expensive just like you said. We handled it by giving the same amount (usually $100) to a charity in the couples name. Don’t know if that is PC but the way we worked it out =)

By: Ms. M

Ms. M — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 16:03:54 +0000

For years, I went by the “plate/head” rule, but then, I wasn’t always able to do that, so I threw that “rule” out the window.

We give based on OUR ability and not their’s. Some of our friends can afford a lot more, so it’s easy to feel that we should give them a lot more. But, we can’t. So, we don’t. We give according to current circumstances, and basically, as much as we can. If we feel that we can fill a need, or express our gratitude to them by giving more that usual, then we do.

For us, there is no flat rate for gifts.

You sound sensible about finances. I don’t think you have to worry. But, yeah, wedding gifts can get ridiculous – think about all the different showers and parties…

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:53:24 +0000

I totally agree with you Sol…I shouldn’t pay for their extravagences..and like you said it’s what you can afford. You shouldn’t have to prove anything to anyone by giving big gifts. Especially if it harms you financially.

By: Sol

Sol — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:15:42 +0000

To add to that the whole ‘you pay what your plate costs” thing is something I do not pay any mind to.

It isn’t my burden to help someone else pay for their extravagance. If they choose to have a $400 dollar plate that is their financial burden not mine. I don’t think it should be expected that their guests take that into account.

By: Sol

Sol — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:14:11 +0000

We give what we can. Sometimes that means only $150 and sometimes that means $400. It depends on where we are financially and how close we are to the people.

Or at times we have had friends who didn’t want to receive monetary gifts and only gift registry items and we try to be reasonable there as well.