Yesterday, I wrote a post about the things I have forgotten about the first year of my son’s life. And as I was writing those things down I realized all the things that I DO remember. Obviously there are too many memories to write them all down, but here are a few about the beginning months.
When it comes to the labor I have forgotten a lot of the pain, but I do remember so many things. I remember my water breaking, I remember I was reading “Gone With the Wind”, and I remember pretty much everything leading up to getting into the hospital bed. I remember getting checked out for the first time only to be told I was only 1 centimeter dilated, and being DEVASTATED. I remember the horrible rain, I remember having to turn around after we started driving to make sure Tinkerbell was actually in the house. I remember what I wore, and I remember taking a shower and curling my hair (yes I really did that) while waiting to make the trip the hospital. I remember looking at Tinkerbell and apologizing for the new life I was about to bring home. Although I remember labor being pretty horrible I no longer can relive the pain in my mind. Out of 17 hours of labor what I remember the most is being forced to look down while my son was being born and seeing him come into the world. I never thought I wanted to see, but to watch him being born truly is a miracle. If we are being honest I remember Thanking God that it was over and he was OUT! From that moment my life has never been the same.
The hospital stay was a blur. I was exhausted and extremely overwhelmed. How could you not be? They hand you this life that depends on you every moment of the day. You are pretty much expected to just figure it out. I had barely held a baby let alone take care of one, and now I had a son who needed me. There is nothing to do but step up.
The first few months I was a walking zombie. I don’t remember much of those days. It all seems a bit hazy. I do remember is watching my son sleep in his basinet. He was so small and would slide down to the bottom and press himself against the side. It really was the cutest thing. Once he left his bassinet (very hard on mommy!) I remembered being so excited to go get him in the morning. It’s amazing…every night I was/am excited to put him to bed, but I can’t wait to go pick him up and hug him every morning.
I remember all the major milestones and events (obviously), but sometimes they seem that they happened so long ago. Although I choose not remember the tears, I promise you I remember all the laughter, and laugh I did (and do!). My son has made me smile every day of this last year. I am so grateful to have experienced all the firsts in his life. We have so many firsts to go, and I can’t wait.