I recently got word from a contact at Fairhaven Health of a survey being done at Early Pregnancy Tests.com that was getting to the bottom of many questions regarding Trying to conceive. They called the survey a “Profile of a “typical” TTC woman”. Don’t  you think that is a great topic? I found the results pretty interesting so I thought you would too. If you want to read more about the results you can do so HERE. Keep in mind this was a survey done of 660 people on Early Pregnancy Tests.com and may not by any means be a national average…

Early Pregnancy Tests.com: Profile of a “Typical” TTC woman

I was actually kind of shocked with the answers in the “how old are you?” section. I wasn’t surprised with the top… 47% being 25-30, but I was surprised that the 18-24 range was last with 11%. They say that your fertility drops significantly once you hit 25 and again at 30, so it is no wonder there are so many fertility issues these days now that women are waiting longer and longer to have children. It just makes sense.

The 2nd question of How Long have you been TTC made me feel a little better about my situation since 60% said 8 months or longer. Wow! How crazy is that? My doctor did tell me the average was 6 months, but maybe that number will be going up soon? Or since this was on a pregnancy test website…are the women who are frequenting the site the ones who are struggling to get pregnant?

The question of “do you have fertility issues” made me think. In reality, most people won’t know if they have any issues till at least a year of TTC because that is what is recommended by doctors, and it is also the time frame most insurance companies work with. The study here showed 40% did not know.

70% answered yes to the question of “Do you test for ovulation”. I am not surprised by that answer because timing is very important, but I think people rely on that too much. Going back I kind of wish I just followed my doctors advice and just “did it” 3-4 times a week till you get your period. I think if I followed that advice things would be a lot less stressful. But I didn’t listen..lol so I’m part of that 70%!

Question: “do you use an electronic fertility monitor?” The Answer was 87% NO…but I’d like to put in my plug for the clear blue easy fertility monitor. I REALLY think it’s worth the money. I wish I had bought it sooner, because I really believe that my timing has been off with the regular OPK’s. If you have a little extra cash I say go for it!

I sponsored a giveaway for Fertilaid Giveaway and really loved their Fertilaid as well as their Fertile CM, so I was shocked to see how many respondents haven’t given it a try. Maybe it’s the ordering online thing? That stops me sometimes….

Do you use Preseed or Pre?  It’s amazing how many people don’t know that regular lubricant actually KILL sperm. Yup! You may be harming your chances right off the bat! This survey had 57% day they do not use. My question is are they using none at all, or just the wrong kind? Definitely something to think about! I’ve used both, so if you want to know my opinions feel free to contact me. (since I am sure most of my readers don’t need to know lol)

I didn’t comment about all of the questions so feel free to see all the results on the survey. But I did find the results interesting. I wonder if they would be similar with a larger sample of respondents? I have a feeling they would! What do you think? Do you find the results accurate? Would you have answered the same?

Captain Awesome and I decided a little less than a year ago that we wanted to start a family. With just that one little statement so many other things got set into motion. We had plans. But now, looking back, the words of my doctor now come back to haunt me “when people plan God laughs”. Isn’t that the truth! The problem with plans is that they don’t always work out, and when they don’t work out you are left fumbling for a new plan. But through all the plans, and the ups and the downs, I have to remind myself to just live my life. You’d be surprised how hard that is!

When the summer clothes started to come on the racks last year I told myself “don’t buy any because soon you will be too fat to wear it”. I planned on being the “designated driver” at upcoming weddings because by then I was POSITIVE I’d be pregnant. Then came the miscarriage, and all the plans shattered. After we were free to try again, I was so sure that it would happen quickly. In September I had friends invite us on a vacation in January, and I said to The Captain… I don’t think we can book that trip now. I am hoping to be pregnant by then and I won’t know how I will feel. So we didn’t book the trip. Funny thing is that January came and went. Our friends went on that vacation, and we stayed home.

You may ask why I cared about booking the trip. Well , the answer is simple. It’s a lot of money to travel, and I am worried that if I travel with in my first trimester I could be sick. And therefore the trip is ruined because I am sick and can’t enjoy myself. I know what you are thinking…you could feel fine! And you are right, but it isn’t worth the risk. Therefore we decided we should plan a trip to coordinate with “the right time” and go to relax. But you’d be amazed at how life throws curve balls at you! Each “right time” has occurred when other plans have been set, and therefore we haven’t been able to take that trip. I don’t think people realize how small the window really is. And if you are busy during that window, you lose your chance.

I haven’t really bought new clothes for 4 full seasons now. Each one has come and gone with me thinking I’d be wasting my money. I guess The Captain is happy because it saved us a bunch of money!

My 30th birthday is coming up in June and people ask me what I am doing. But I can’t give them an answer. I’m not going to plan a raging drinking event if I am pregnant. That just wouldn’t fit. I would love to maybe combine my birthday and our 2 year anniversary (both in June), but I have to refer back to my previous statement…I just don’t know how I will feel at that point? What to do?

I realize as I am reading this back I sound a little crazy. Don’t worry I am not. Other than big travel plans I promise I really am living my day to day life to the fullest. But being the planner that I am I am having trouble with the unknown. So here is a reminder to myself and all of you. Don’t wish the year away, and don’t sit around and wait while life passes you by….remember to live.

I was given, and started using the Fertilaid for Women and the Fertile Cervical Mucus Enhancer at the beginning of this month when I found out that last month was a bust. I have been using prenatal vitamins for over a year, but was looking forward to giving these a try. I was a bit worried about how my body would react to the new vitamins since I have heard that some prenatals can wreak havoc on your body, causing upset stomach and constipation among other things, but I was happy to find that these pills did none of that for me. Both of these pills are to be taken 3 times a day with food. I will admit that I had a bit of trouble remembering to take them 3 times a day. Most of the time I did 2 times…so I hope that’s ok. That I would say is the only negative, but The Captain tells me that the good vitamins need to be taken that often to allow for optimal absorption into the body. The Fertile CM enhancer proved to, in fact increase my CM. I was wondering if I would notice a difference and I totally did, so I was pretty happy about that.

Captain Awesome was given the Fertilaid for Men. He was used to taking a multivitamin, but was happy to give this a try. Sometimes I feel that he feels helpless in this whole process. And I think he was happy to be able to DO SOMETHING that maybe could help. So if anything…the vitamins are keeping him and me healthy!

Now for the fun part! Fairhaven Health has agreed to send 1 lucky winner their choice of these 3 products. That way you can pick the product that you think will help you the most! The contest will start today and run for 2 weeks. Ending on March 9th.

Here’s how you enter: You can do one or all of these entries (I vote for all), but remember that each comment acts as an entry. The winner will be chosen via www.random.org

1. Leave a comment telling me which product you would choose if you won.
2. Publicly become an After The Alter Google Follower and leave me a comment telling me  you did so.
3. Become a fan of After The Alteron Facebook then leave me a comment saying you are.
4. Become a fan of Fertileaidon Facebook and then leave a comment saying that you are.
5. Follow @afterthealter on Twitter! Then leave a comment with your twitter name saying that you follow.
6. Tweet about this giveaway, then leave a comment with the link to the tweet: I just entered the Fertilaid Giveaway @afterthealter you should too! http://bit.ly/9Hi1Ispls. RT
7. Follow @fertilaidamy and leave a comment letting me know that you are!

Now for even more great news! Fairhaven Healthis also offering 10% off to my readers if you use the promo code: newyearsavings (offer valid through the end of March) So even if you don’t win you can still get these products at a very good price.

I say every little bit helps in the TTC game. And getting your body healthy and ready are very important BEFORE getting pregnant. So why not use the products that are designed just for that?

The product in this review
was provided to me free of cost for the purpose of conducting this
review. All opinions expressed in this review are my own and are not
influenced by monetary or other means of compensation.

I experienced a bit of a sucker punch today when I looked at the calendar and realized that January is almost over. This means that had I not had a miscarriage this past summer, I would be EXTREMELY close to my due date of February 13th. I can’t believe that it’s been almost 9 months since I conceived. Who knew this is how things would turn out?

I honestly believed that I would be pregnant by the time my original due date came around…I mean I found out that I would miscarry in July. I had no idea that it would be so hard to get pregnant this time around. But it has been hard, and it has been a long time, so that’s why it came as such a shock when I realized the date. I really thought I would have a baby in 2010, but it seems that we are almost running out of time for that dream to come true. As it stands, in a best case scenerio we are looking at October…but November and December could certainly be a reality.

It’s funny…before we began TTC I always said that I didn’t want a Christmas baby. I felt that it wasn’t fair for the child to share his/her birthday anywhere close to such a big holiday in my family….but as we are nearing what could be a Christmas baby, I realize that it doesn’t matter when that child is born. I will love it and make their birthday the most special day EVER! No matter what.

So I am wallowing a bit. But I’m allowed to right? The good news is that my mom is in town, so the two of us will keep busy. It will be comforting to have my mind on other more fun things. Don’t worry readers..I’m ok….if you read Friday’s post you know that I am enjoying life. The punch in the gut just hurt..but my breath will be back shortly.

I think the biggest thing going on in MY life right now is the fact that I am TTC. There is no secret that I want a baby, so when I heard this song all I could think of was wow…this song is for my future baby. In reality this song is about a man waiting to meet his love…a woman he hasn’t met yet, but if you listen to the words I find that they can apply to my future child.

Here’s my favorite part!

I might have to wait
I’ll never give up
I guess it’s half time
And the other’s half’s luck
Wherever you are
Whenever it’s right
You’ll come out of nowhere and into my life

I know that we can be so amazing
And baby your love is gonna change me
And now I can see every possibility

So here’s to time and luck! And don’t worry. I won’t give up! So what song would represent your life right now?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Thank you Happily Ever After for showing me this song!!!

This is a public service announcement for anyone and everyone that comes across a woman who is TTC. I figure it is my duty to publicly make this announcement, since when conversations on this topic arise in the real world, women are forced to just smile and bare it when someone tries to offer up this horrid advice. But, from experience, and by speaking to others I am here to tell you all, that THE LAST THING any woman wants to hear EVER…let alone when she is TTC …is that all she needs to do is RELAX.

This my friends may be hard to hear, and please if you have ever said this to me, please don’t think I am referring to you alone. Trust me, it is a common bit of advice. But ladies, think it through…have you ever been in an argument with your spouse, only to have him tell you to relax?? How awful is that? And what does it do to you when he says those words? It makes you do anything but RELAX!

Normally, if a friend is talking to you about any TTC struggles or stress she isn’t looking for any sort of advice. Most of the time she just wants to say it out loud, and talk and put it out there. On the boards I follow there are actually many threads that discuss what come back to give when someone tells them “You know I’ve heard that if you just relax it will happen”. You should hear some responses, and I am telling you that you wouldn’t want to be on the end of one of those responses. It will be embarrassing to you for making this person so upset and angry, and embarrassing for them for having lost their cool. So let’s look at this post at me just trying to help you out!

I’ll be honest. I do believe that in some cases just relaxing can have great power, but that is advice I am not looking to get. Even the words “it will happen when it’s supposed to” is a sucker punch to the gut because I am left wondering…why isn’t it supposed to happen now? Personally, I am not sure the better route to take. A: talking about TTC to others and getting the “relax” response, or B: keeping it bottled up inside so that you don’t have to hear about it. I personally choose to go with C: getting it all out through my blog, and that way I don’t run the risk of having someone tell me to relax…if a comment such as that comes across I get to just delete it! oh the joys of running a blog!

I hope I have opened your eyes in some way. I totally get that you are just trying to help, and I totally get that there aren’t many other pieces of advice that you can think to offer. But I am letting you off the hook. No advice is needed when it comes to this topic. All you have to do is listen…and my friend…that is just enough. This has been a Public Service Announcement.

Ok TTC friends…here’s your chance to throw out those responces you have been dying to say to someone who told you to RELAX. Take your shot!

The morning I found out I was NOT pregnant, I actually took a pregnancy test which obviously was a BIG FAT NEGATIVE. You know what happened 5 minutes after I took the test??? Aunt Flow showed her ugly and horrid face. She mocked me, and laughed very loudly. I was defeated. I honestly thought that this month was it. I was looking for signs and I thought that I would find out that I was pregnant and get to tell Captain Awesome on his birthday. I imagined waking him up and giving him the great news as his first birthday present. But it wasn’t in the cards. So I cried….

So what did I do next? I got in the car. I had to take my Tinkerbell to the vet. I wiped away my tears and drove….and during this drive something amazing happened. I started to relax! A wave of peace washed over me. I came to the realization that God decides when it is my time to have a baby. I realized that I just had to let go. I had to let go of the anxiety, and I had to let go of the idea that I can control my destiny. I remembered that I got pregnant the first time by relaxing and enjoying life. I didn’t plan, I didn’t track ovulation, and most of all I didn’t STRESS!

So I am done…I am relinquishing control. I plan to think about ANYTHING other than getting pregnant. I am going to live my life, and que sera sera…what will be will be.

The Journey of Trying To Conceive (TTC)

The trying to conceive journey is just that….a journey. It is a process that not everyone thinks about. I had hoped that I would be one of those people who just decided that they wanted to be pregnant and it just happened. As a matter of fact I was really close to being that person since my husband and I got pregnant on our first shot. I guess God just decided that it was just too easy for it to happen that way, and that our journey was not complete. Instead we are left to actually “Try” to have a baby. I don’t think anyone can really understand what it’s like to have babies on the brain until they are at that point in their life when they really want one….but it’s just not something you can just do….it’s not something you can achieve….its something you may have to try hard at and fail.

I try not to talk to people much about it…because we all know where babies come from and it’s embarrassing to talk about it sometimes. The other reason I don’t bring it up is because then I hear….just relax and it will happen. REALLY? RELAX? Don’t you know by telling someone to relax that they do just the opposite? And it is certainly easy for someone who is pregnant, has children, or are not looking to have children just yet to say relax….why? Because they have no idea what it’s like to suffer through a miscarriage and then be left waiting every month hoping for their 2nd chance.

So that’s where I am in my journey to motherhood….stuck in limbo just wishing, hoping , and praying that God’s plan for me includes a healthy pregnancy in the near future. Keep your fingers crossed! I know I will!