He Said: Why is Fresh Beat Band so stupid and unrealistic?

She Said: It’s more real than Family Guy

He Said: There is no way! Family Guy is much more realistic! Who is supervising these kids?

She Said: Why is there a talking dog who goes on dates?

He said: Why do they break out in song?

She said: I love to break out randomly in song! (I totally do!) Why does Peter fight with a big chicken and why does Stewie talk and go on dates?

My Mom: You are both losers for having this conversation….

Well played mom….well played….the truth hurts.

I have always loved to be the hostess. Whether its for a quiet night in, game night or a nice dinner party I prefer to have people over to my house. It’s not that my house is set up great to entertain (it’s not), but I just truly enjoy having people over. Am I good at it? Not necessarily, but it’s fun. That all changed when I was pregnant and especially when I had my son. For some reason I lost the desire to host things at my house. It was the dinner party that really got pushed aside. When my son was born I couldn’t even make dinner for myself let alone others. The good news is that after over a year I finally have that desire to host again. How great is that!? I’m back to being the hostess!

It kind of came out of no where. The Captain and I decided to have people over for New Years Eve. Even though we ordered in food, I brought out my china and crystal and we had a nice dinner. I lit candles and cleaned the house and it was fun! Then the next week I suggested we invite 2 couples from my Captain Awesome’s work over for dinner. This time I cooked! We did appetizers, entre (Rachel Ray’s Lazy Baked Greek Chicken)  and dessert and I loved it! The little guy was put to bed and I was able to start my night. I loved the feeling that I COULD do this.

Later that weekend I cooked dinner for the inlaws (meatballs and sauce), and again, I proved to myself that I can take care of my son, but still make things for others. I am sure for some it’s easy, but for me it all sounded so overwhelming for a while.

In the past I hosted wine tasting parties in the back yard, 80’s themed parties and murder mystery parties. It was so fun! I want to get back to doing that. Who doesn’t love a good theme party!?

My house will never be the cleanest,I will never be the best cook, and maybe someday I will have the perfect home to entertain, but I think what makes a great hostess is someone who looks forward to having the job. Most of all I like people to be comfortable. Sit back, relax and enjoy. This hostess is back….now what should I do for my next dinner party?

I think if someone was willing to pay for it I would have a wedding every year. I would get to wear a big pretty dress and have everyone cheer for me when I came into the room. Who wouldn’t want that? But I can think of a few things that I may do differently. Let’s start with the wedding invitation cards. Although I agree that they set the tone for the wedding, I don’t think I would do the pocket style again. It was just too much work, and I don’t think anyone really noticed the effort that went into them. I think that’s a main point…a lot of people didn’t notice the little things I did…I probably wouldn’t pay for napkins with my name on them, and did anyone really care about the little jewels I glued onto each and every place card?

I planned the entire day to a T! I think that’s just my personality. I’d like to say that I would relax more if I did it again, but let’s face it. I wouldn’t. I put my all into every detail of my son’s first birthday party. It’s just my nature. The bottom line is that it was an amazing and perfect day. I loved taking some time to think about it again. With my little man taking up my entire life these days it’s nice to remember where our family began. We are just an old married couple….lol….with many more years ahead of us!

What is that Paula Abdul song?? Opposites Attract? You know the one…the one where she is dancing with that cat? Well it’s a great and catchy tune, and sometimes I will agree with that statement, but sometimes it couldn’t be farther than from the truth. Sometimes opposites cause tension in relationships, and when that happens what are we supposed to do? In a marriage, what happens when opposites don’t attract?

Although Captain Awesome and I are similar in some ways, I’d have to say that when it comes to most things we are the complete opposites. He’s very laid back, and I am much more uptight. He flies by the seat of his pants, and I am a planner to a fault (his is to a fault too might I add!). I could go on and on, but these two traits are the ones that triggered this post so it is probably best we just focus on these.

Normally these differences complement each other. When I get worked up over something, his laid back attitude keeps me calm. It soothes me and settles my head a bit. When it comes to his lack of planning this is where we clash. I will NEVER be ok with waiting till the last minute to do things. It’s not how I operate, and normally it’s OK because I take the reigns on most of the planning. Usually he just sits back and let’s me do my thing. The tension comes when I need him to take charge and do something about the plans. This is when we struggle.

I like to just take care of things. When I get something that is on my mind done it’s like one large check mark appears and that plan/thought gets to be put aside and I can focus on other things. When it came to the planning of The Captains 30th birthday trip to Atlanta I had to give the reigns over to him. He wanted to make the plans. I was OK with that until he was procrastinating on actually making those plans. With no hotel, flight or game tickets (we are going to see the Falcon’s play) I started to get flustered. He on the other hand kept telling me to stop asking about it and to let him take care of it. Unfortunately “letting go” is not my strong suit and I kept asking him to do it. I kept asking until we fought regularly about it. My argument was that it didn’t hurt him to just make the plans, but by him NOT making the plans I felt a ton of stress. He didn’t seem to care about that point. Eventually of course the plans were made and at a month before our departure we are fully set. Luckily for him it all worked out, but it was not done in a way that was ideal for me.

So how do we work this out? Are we destined to argue the rest of our married days when it comes to planning in advance? Do we just accept our roles? Me the planner and him the procrastinator? I think that’s the way it has to be.

So in your relationship what traits do you and your partner clash about. When do your opposites NOT attract you to each other?

Today I am thankful for my husband. That’s right dear readers, as much as I pick on him on this blog, I am truly thankful for him every day. He is my best friend, my support, my protector and my provider. I am one lucky lady.

In particular I am thankful that I am able to stay home with my son every day, and a huge reason I am able to do that is because The Captain does everything in his power to allow that to happen.

Yes, I do work, and I do contribute to this family financially, but my main job is taking care of our son. I count my blessings every day because I can’t imagine doing anything else. He sees how important it is for our son to have his mom home with him every day. He doesn’t pressure me to spend more time doing my job, and respects my job as a mom. Not all men would be the same.

I live in a rather materialistic area. It’s a place where if you don’t drive a Mercedes you haven’t “made it”. Well that’s not how I was raised. And I am thankful that The Captain values being financially responsible as much as I do. He works hard all day, then comes home and works some more. He does all this so that we can comfortably raise our son. He does this so that I can spend my days teaching our son everything about life, and he does this so I can fulfill my dream of being a stay at home mom.

As hard as he works he is always present. He comes home to be with us for lunch, and he does most of his personal work after I go to bed. As much as I joke that he is more of an assistant then a co pilot when it comes to raising our son I am always thankful to have him as a partner. Just having him there makes all the difference in my day.

I am thankful for a lot of things….but today I am extra thankful for Captain Awesome

Most every waking minute of my day is spent with my son. I love it and I wouldn’t trade that in for the world. He is a busy little boy, so from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to bed, we are on the move. That means that when he does finally go to bed at night I am exhausted. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and relax and reset. The Captain is tired too from his long days, so the both of us crash on the couches and zone out. That isn’t really a formula for romance.

My mother in law is always generous and will watch our son whenever we ask, but it has seemed that our summer is so busy that when we do go out it’s normally in a group setting. Unfortunately “date night” has had to be put on hold, and our time to connect has been limited.

It’s not that Captain Awesome and I don’t spend time together. On the contrary actually. He comes home for lunch almost every day, and we eat dinner together every night. But quantity doesn’t always equal quality time.

A strong marriage is extremely important. I know that. We have a strong marriage, but I can see where it is difficult to connect as husband and wife when you have a child. My role as mom overshadows my role of wife right now, and I always believed I’d be able to balance the two better.

Tomorrow night Captain Awesome and I will be going into Manhattan to see “Rock of Ages” on Broadway and will have a nice romantic dinner for two. It will be a much needed night out together. I have to focus more on the balance between wife and mother. .Both roles are extremely important in making this family the wonderful entity it is.

Those who knew The Captain and I in college will understand why it’s so appropriate that The Captain and I began our relationship on St. Paddy’s day. Some would say we like to indulge and party a bit, so you can imagine how the whole “let’s be boyfriend and girlfriend” speech went. As a matter of fact, I am not sure I totally remember! (Sad, but true!) That happened 10 years ago today!

I just can’t believe that this St. Patrick’s Day will mark ten years that Captain Awesome and I started our relationship. It took him a while to get the clue that he wanted to be “exclusive”, but I am so glad that he finally did. We have grown up together, and you have to agree that 10 years is pretty long for any relationship. Especially when you reach 10 years at 30!

Being an Irish girl myself, it’s nice to celebrate this holiday for multiple reasons. Plus, it’s always easy to remember! Although we’ve replaced this anniversary with our wedding one, we still make sure we celebrate today. As a matter of fact, mommy and daddy are going out to dinner tonight! Last year we did a bunch of shots to mark the day…this year may be a little more reserved. Mommy still has to wake up with her little man!

So for ten years the sorority girl, and the fraternity boy have made a life together. I wonder what our college selves would say if they knew that ten years later we’d be married with a baby! I’d like to think they knew we’d end up here all along.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

They say it’s extremely important to still focus on your marriage after having a baby, because it’s very easy for that baby to consume your entire life. You find that your daily conversions are more about poopy diapers and toys rather than anything resembling adult conversation. Normally, that’s just wonderful because that’s what being a parent is all about..but sometimes you need some husband and wife time and that is exactly what The Captain and I did this past Friday night…at 8 1/2 weeks in we had our first official date night. v

First thing we needed was a babysitter. We are lucky enough to currently live close to my in laws and my mother in law was kind enough to agree to watch our little guy. So that part was easy. Next, I wanted to make myself a little pretty (which is difficult with this horrendous hair on my head desperately needing a haircut…but I digress..). It felt nice to get dressed up. I haven’t gotten to do that much lately and I enjoy it. Then came making sure the baby’s scheduled worked out so he had eaten right before we left. That way he’d be content and wouldn’t need a bottle until right before his bed time. His schedule didn’t work out exactly..but I was able to “top him off” before we left. This left him in a nice milk coma for nana. She was bummed he wasn’t awake, but I reminded her it was either a milk coma or a cranky hungry baby!

As much as I was excited to go out, it was also hard for me to leave him. It’s not that I was worried about leaving him with my mother in law, it’s that I hate leaving him in general. Because no matter what I am always thinking about him when I’m gone. Definitely bitter sweet. The Captain and I went to a nice Italian restaurant in a neighboring town. We had some wine with dinner, although I didn’t have too much (which is way different for me!). I definitely wanted to hold back because although I do love to get wine drunk…I doubted it was worth the hangover when I had to be up in the middle of the night feeding the baby, and I really had no desire to “pump and dump”. So a little wine to relax was perfect. Dinner was yummy, and The Captain and I laughed and talked like we usually do. Although we did talk about the baby, we even ventured on to more adult topics! Yay for us!

We really stink at making dinner last a long time. We had all 3 courses, and took our time and were still home at 9:45. Ya, we are losers. We tried though! We came home and to our surprise our little cherub was still awake! It was lucky that I didn’t really drink at dinner because after a 6 oz bottle he was still hungry! So I quickly thanked nana and went upstairs to nurse him to sleep. I thought maybe he’d be full fast, but not our guy. He nursed on both sides and it took a good 20 minutes for him to nurse to sleep. I am pretty baffled at how much milk he is actually getting when I nurse, or how much to leave in a bottle when I go. I guess it’s just trial and error? I do hope he can drink from a bottle before bed…let’s hope this doesn’t become an ongoing problem!

After he was down, Captain Awesome and I opened another bottle of wine and relaxed. Our night out was great and it was nice to just enjoy each others company. We will have to be sure to do that again sometime soon. It’s definitely healthy on the marriage!

When I started this blog, my main goal was to share about my life as a wife. I was newly married, and I really strived at being a good housewife. Why was it so important? Well, it’s because it was what I wanted to be…I work for the money, but I really feel/felt that my calling was to be a wife and mother first and foremost, and at that time I was really able to focus on the “wife” part, so that’s what I did. Over time the blog kind of transformed along with the different paths my life decided to take. Now, I am finally a mother, and loving every second of it…but with all my energy now going into taking care of our child, I feel that my duties with work and around the home have really lacked. I think it’s time to create a new balance in my life to mirror all my new roles….mother, wife, maid, cook, sales person….well you see where I am going.

As you may or may not know I work from home, so for a while that made me a “Work At Home Wife” . Now, not only am I home taking care of our child, I also need to keep up my work load.. so I guess that now makes me a “Work At Home Mom”. I think this is a little different than a SAHM because it adds just one more dynamic to the mix. I know in the long run that I am so very lucky to be able to work from home, but that meant immediately after having my child I was taking work phone calls from the hospital. It also means that I do my work while my son is feeding on my breast, being burped or taking a nap. Basically, any moment that has him quiet. It is a great set up for me and my family, and I know I am lucky to be able to do it. But with our son being my top priority…sometimes work becomes a little more difficult. I am lucky my boss (my dad) has been picking up my slack!

The Captain laughs at me when I try to take on a task rather then having someone else help. Tasks like grocery shopping or bringing in the dry cleaning. My answer to why I don’t want someone to watch the baby while doing these things is “I have to figure it out”. I do! It’s going to be my job to do these things…I want it to be my job, so I have to learn to do it myself WITH the baby. Isn’t that what SAHM’s do? My mom was a SAHM of 3 kids and was able to do everything involving the house. I want to be able to do that too. If that means a bit of a learning curve so be it…I’m up for the challenge.

Things like grocery shopping and cooking are more of a challenge now. I still haven’t figured out how to bring the infant seat into the store and still be able to do a large shopping trip…anyone suggest how that works? If you put the seat into the cart where does the food go? If I bring in the stroller how do I push the cart? For now I am using Pea Pod, the Stop and Shop Grocery delivery service. They are offering free shipping for the next 60 days so that should give me some time to figure it all out. For now, it’s great shopping online and having the groceries delivered to my door. Cooking? Another challenge. I try to do things when the baby is sleeping but sometimes that is hard to do, and it seems that feeding time always comes right when I want to cook. See I like my food hot and served right after cooking. I’m not big on cooking earlier in the day and reheating…just not my thing. I seem to be cooking a few times a week…again, I’m still learning.

The cleaning? A smaller challenge but one none the less. The Captain was nice enough to allow us to get a cleaning lady come this past weekend to do a major clean. See, since my mom left after helping with the baby when he was born I hadn’t been able to do a major clean, and then the holidays came and the house just became a mess. Now, I think I will be able to keep up with the clean since I am starting out with a clean house. Let’s hope that works! If not I do my best…a spic and span house has never been my forte..

So as you can see I am learning. I am learning to balance all the aspects of my life, or at least trying to. The one major thing is that everything else is secondary to taking care of my son. That will always come first. The rest can wait if it needs to.

It has been 7 weeks since our little Christian blessed us with his presence, and thus far Captain Awesome has yet to change 1 diaper. Yes, you read that correctly…7 weeks and no poopy diapers for daddy. He always said that he didn’t want to change diapers, and I always told him that he HAD to change diapers, and low and behold I am a sucker and have yet to force him to do it. When anyone asks, The Captain likes to tell them that he prefers to keep his “assistant” role when it comes to diapering…and for now that role is perfectly fine with him. Well you know what? That may not be perfectly fine with me. Mommy needs more than an assistant!

I will admit openly that The Captain is an amazing dad so far. He comes home from a long day aat work and will take the baby to give me a bit of a break. When the baby was fussy and gassy he researched ways to relieve his discomfort and sat on the floor doing bicycle kicks with his legs, and when the baby is fussy he will sit and spin this little bear mobile that Christian loves (You’d think it would spin on it’s own!). But with all of that came not one diaper change.

Here’s a story for you. One evening I asked The Captain to watch the baby for a bit while I took a shower. I was excited to relax and have a few moments to myself. After my shower I stepped out in my towel, and proceeded to dry off. That’s when I heard The Captain calling for me up the stairs. “We have a code 3″ he yelled. I panicked for a second when I had no idea what a “code 3″ was. I yelled “What’s a code three!?” He then proceeded to tell me the kid had pooped and peed and he got the diaper off and panicked. So I ran downstairs to see my poor son laying there diaperless. He was happy as can be, but daddy was not pleased with the dirty diaper. I changed the baby, showing the Captain each step I made. I guess I can give him some credit for giving it a try, but his follow through was lacking. Should he get an “A” for effort?

I am hoping that the “Assistant” will soon promote himself and take on a bigger diaper changing position. Mainly because someday I would like to leave the baby with his daddy and feel comfortable that he won’t be stuck sitting in a poopy diaper all day. I know that he’s a smart man and CAN change a diaper…we just have to get him to actually do it. It’s time for a promotion don’t you think?

Does your man change diapers? What role did your spouse take when it came to daddy duties of an infant?