I will admit here and now that I really want to be a good wife. I try to be as domestic as I can, and I honestly do care about what my husband wants. Post college I finally realized what I was meant to do with my life, and that was to be a good wife and mother. Although sometimes I try in vain, I really do want to succeed. This past weekend The Captain and I went into Manhattan to do lunch with some good friends, and to watch football at another friends apartment. I knew I did not want to stay in the city for the game, so I made it clear that my husband should stay in the city with his friends, and I would just drive home when I felt like it. It was perfectly fine with me. But in the true nature of Mars and Venus communication…Captain Awesome wasn’t sure if I was fine with the situation..or if I was just saying I was FINE and really meant I wanted him to come home.

I left when I wanted, and I left him behind. I was actually very excited to go back to our home, open some wine and enjoy a girly movie that The Captain would never have watched. As a matter of fact, I watched Julie and Julia. (when will they make a movie about my blog?) It was just wonderful. But as I got home and settled I started to get texts and calls from The Captain. He asked me over and over if it was OK if he stayed…and how he wanted to come home and watch the Eagles game with me. I could tell right off the bat that he didn’t REALLY want to come home..I knew he was coming home because he thought it was what I wanted. So to make him feel better I told him that I didn’t want him to come home..and I didn’t want to watch the game at all. To be honest I was more than fine with the situation. But he didn’t believe me. I can only imagine what his friends thought as he sat there going on and on about how he is worried that I was mad at him. Am I really that horrible? I feel like he made the others think I was going to beat him or something if he came home later than I wanted him to. As the evening went on I got a call from my mother telling me “don’t be mad at your husband.” What??? He called my mom??? I explained to her that I was in no way shape or form mad at him. He used the pretense that he called her to talk about football…but I know he was calling to ask her if I was mad. Again I will ask…am I that horrible? I had no idea that I made my husband squirm and worry about doing what he wanted. Now I feel bad.

I NEVER wanted my husband to be scared to do what he wanted to do. Am I a horrible wife?

At first I wasn’t sure if I liked it…but the more I thought about it the more I realized how fitting the name really is. He really does believe himself to be awesome. He has the highest self esteem of anyone I know. He even goes as far as to look in the mirror and say “Damn I look good!”.  But to be perfectly honest I find this quality to be endearing. Nothing really bothers him and his attitude normally counteracts my own more high strung, worry wart one.

So from this day forward he will be known as Captain Awesome…or The Captain for short. Let us formally welcome him to his reign!

I do my best not to pick on my husband on this site….sometimes I fail. This is one of those times. As I write this,  I am staring at a pair of my husband’s black socks stuffed into the couch cushions. Why are they there you ask?  I have no idea why, but for some reason he comes home from work, sits on the couch and proceeds to take off both of his socks and stuffs them into the couch. I honestly don’t think he knows he is doing it sometimes! I think it’s just habit at this point, but sometimes it is just embarrassing. Can you imagine what would happen if a guest came over to our home, sat on the couch only to find socks stuffed into the couch? Kind of gross right???

There are many things about his come home routine that burns my britches…but this is the worst. It’s not the shoes right in front of the door…those are easily picked up…..it’s not the tie hung over the kitchen chair…..I can move it out of the way…..it’s those stupid socks that mock me day after day! Even when I think I have picked up today’s socks…fast forward to a few days later when I am moving pillows only to find another mystery pair of socks laughing at me saying “HAHAHA you didn’t see me before!”

So this is my cross to bear…I am not sure how to fix it…harping about it gets me nowhere….I could ignore it but that will leave me with a weeks worth of socks to clean up on Saturday….so it seems that I will just take it day by day….and if you happen to know my husband….help me out and tell him to clean up his socks!

Adult Responsibilities

So I jumped into the “grown up” world with both feet, and begun to take care of myself. This meant that I had to get furniture, and pay bills among many other things. I had to set up appointments to get cable, phone service and wait for deliveries. I had to make sure we had heat and electricity. I took care of all my banking and made sure I always had money in the bank. I had a system and it worked for many years.

Now, as a married woman of less than 1 year I find myself handing many of those jobs over to my husband. Now I don’t even have the patience to deal with customer service reps. If they call I just tell them to call back and talk to my husband. This isn’t the old me??? What happened to the independent woman I was/am??? Is it bad that I am happy that I don’t have to deal with many of those things anymore?

My Grandma’s Predicament

I always thought it was sweet when my grandma and grandpa would help each other with things. Even the small things like opening jars, or grabbing glasses out of the cupboards that my grandma couldn’t reach. After years and years of marriage they had a system, and it worked for them. I never really realized what my grandpa did for my grandma, and vice versa, until my grandpa died 3 years ago. My grandma was left struggling with many of the everyday tasks that he “just took care of”. I felt bad for her, and looked at my relationship and realized how already dependent I am on my husband. I have had him around in some capacity for 8 years now, and it sometimes scares me to realize how dependent on him I am already.

For instance, the cable company called yesterday with a deal for us. I listened to the man speak, and after some time I asked him if he could call back in 20 minutes when my husband came home so that it could be explained to him. I found myself not even wanting to deal with that aspect of the household. Why should I? He always does? I couldn’t be bothered with it. Opening jars? Well that’s just a given. I have this jar opening contraption that I used to use….now….I just decide that I will just wait till my husband comes home to open it. What’s the rush? Getting the mail….I never get it! My husband lived at home for many years and never got to “get the mail”. Now, he gets so excited to be able to get the mail that I just let him do it every day. So it just appears on my counter when he gets home. One time, when he was away for a bit, I just never went out to get the mail. Why should I? It just always shows up so I don’t have to remember?

Those are just a few examples, but as time goes on our roles as husband and wife seem more defined. Is this just part of marriage? Once you get married, is it ok to let go of some of the control? Am I less of an “Independent Woman” now that I am more inclined to let my husband take care of things? What are your experiences with this?

What I am Thankful For

I figured I would share my happy things with you! Maybe my things can remind you of some of your happy things, and if there is anything that can brighten up our days then we should let it in! (These will be in no particular order.)

1. My husband: My husband is my best friend. We have been married almost a year and together for over 8 years, and over that time we’ve had our ups and downs, but through it all he has been my constant. He is always there for me, and he makes me smile. Without him I’d be lost
2. My Dog: Tinkerbell is 4 1/2 years old. I always knew I wanted a dog, but I never realized how much I NEEDED a dog. I always call her my savior because she was there for me during some down times. She is always happy when I come home, and she is always ready to be my friend. I would do anything for her and she knows it.
3. My family: I had the most wonderful childhood. When I look back on it I am left with only happy memories. Now, I am happy to say my family and I are so very close. Even though we are separated by some distance, I know they are always there. My mom is one of my best friends, and my dad is the best and most supportive dad a girl could ask for. It’s somewhat of a joke in our family but I speak to them both like 10 times a day. I love and respect them. My sister is also one of my best friends. She is always there when I need to talk, and I hope she knows I am there for her too. My brother is 6 years younger than me and is the most amazing person. He is kind and gentle, and I know that he would do anything for me. At this moment he is traveling Europe on his own…sometimes I think I live my life vicariously through him, since I know I could never do what he is doing.
4. Wine: Does it make me an alcoholic to say that wine makes me happy? I love sitting down during the evening and relaxing with my glass of wine. Sometimes my favorite thing to do is sit with my dog and my husband, watch our favorite shows, and indulge in a glass of wine.
5. Friendlys: I LOVE Friendlys! My husband calls it “just a bad diner”, but I call it Heaven! I crave the Grilled Cheese and French fries from Friendly’s, and if I am really fat that day I LOVE to eat their cyclones (which are now called Friendzee’s, but I will always call them cyclones). And if I am really fat I LOVE the Munchie Mania! They make the best cheese quesadillas!
6. My Home: I am a bit of a homebody. I am very happy being in my home…I love my old couch, I love that the house is new, I love my big bedroom, I love my closets and I love my bed.
7. TV: Yes I said it…TV makes me happy. I know it’s sad, but it’s true. I was going to put down a favorite show, but I realized that there are too many that I like! I wrote in a previous post about “Martooni Thursday“ and that says it all…I love my time at night to sit on my couch and watch my shows. Some people have hobbies or activities that they like to do…me? I enjoy my TV!
8. The Beach: Although it’s hard to fathom sitting at the beach right now since it’s been the longest winter ever, but I love the beach. Growing up my family always went to the beach for 1 week in the summer. Those are some of my best memories. Now, my family gets a beach house every summer in New Jersey for week. I look forward to going every year. The beach is one of the things I actually like about Long Island. Long Island is great for about 3 months…June, July and August. The beach is so close! I don’t get to go as much as I’d like…and maybe it’s just the idea of the beach that makes me happy…but I do love the beach.
9. My friends: I have some great friends. I should say my husband and I have great friends. I love that Evan and I share our group of friends. Over the years they have all molded together. I love when they stop by, and I love when we hang out and do things together. They are wonderful people, and I know that they will be in my life for years to come.
10. My Wedding: Yes I know, it happened almost a year ago, but the memories live on. I love to relive it by looking at pictures, or our video. It makes me smile every time!

So let’s share! What makes you happy? Let’s start the day off thinking of happy things!

shoveling neighbors

Our house!

Living in a townhouse community has its ups and its downs, but one of the major perks is knowing that when it snows someone else is in charge of plowing and shoveling us out!

Snow Day

Rescued from the Snow Quickly

I Have It Good on Snow Days

I believe the tradition started out back when I graduated college and my husband still had one more year. Since then it has morphed and changed to what it is today. Back in the day, Thursday nights were a big college night out. Being that I was no longer an undergrad, I felt it wasn’t my place to be going out to the same old places, not to mention the fact that the 3 am bedtime does not fit well when I had work the next day. Therefore, I was left on my own on Thursday nights. It turned out to be wonderful. I’d watch my favorite shows, and relax. It was wonderful “me” time.

Over the years it continued. When my husband was in law school he would normally be studying Thursday nights (among others) and for those 3 years I still had my time. When we moved into our town house my husband started Krav Maga classes. This still kept him busy on Thursday nights, and at this point  Martooni Thursdays came to be! I never really thought about it, but now that I look back I can see that it was a great opportunity to have a date night with myself.

Me Time – The Birth of the Martooni

The name “Martooni” came from my dad who invented the little word for martini. It is a little joke in my family because it seems that when any of us indulge in martinis the night gets a little more exciting. Martooni Thursdays don’t always have to be with martinis. Wine is a wonderful substitute, or anything else that helps with much needed relaxation.

Me Time – The Martooni Tradition Interrupted

Now here is where the dilemma begins. Before our wedding my husband stopped taking his classes due to the utter violence it forced him to face week after week. I could not have my groom standing at the alter with a black eye. And after the wedding he never returned. This alas left me with his company on Thursday nights, not to mention his constant nagging about how “awful” he thinks my shows are. Also, he has felt the need to invite his friends over so that I cannot concentrate due to their loud conversations. When this happens I am left to be thankful for my DVR. Now, I love my husband, and I love to hang out with him as much as possible, but I personally feel that being a wife does not make it ok to lose my sacred night of television and adult beverages.

Me Time – The Martooni Tradition Reborn

Now is the time that  I must mention the small ray of hope I have to regain my 7 year tradition. And that ray can be explained in one word….POKER! Yes, someone must have smiled down on me and taken pity on me. My husband has recently been playing poker with his friends on Thursday nights. Personally, I think my husband should be grateful to have such an understanding wife, who allows him to attend his weekly poker game. Who am I to stand in his way??? I’ll tell you who…a woman who whether right, wrong or indifferent gets overly excited for Thursday night TV.

Now let me leave you with this little piece of information. I have found the perfect and easy Apple martini. I don’t have the patience to make one from scratch so I buy Mancini’s pre made apple martinis.

It is the perfect amount of alcohol and gives you that martini kick. I have tried others and have been left disappointed. So this will be my recommendation.

So to all of you ladies out there who are looking for an excuse to have a night to yourself….why not start your own Martooni Thursday?!

If it’s not your thing then please share your personal “individual date night” stories! I am always open to suggestions!