At this point I am pretty much disgusted with my inability to keep my house clean. What the hell is wrong with me? How is it that I am so bad at putting things away once I take them out? How can I be so bad at cleaning up after my family? Most importantly, how can I look at the mess every day and continue to leave it there? How do women do it? Is it in the genes? Is it more of a drive? Or is it just that they are better at being a housewife then I am? How did those perfect housewives of the 50’s do it? Forget them, how did my Grandma do it? Someone please tell me the secret!

My grandmother has every single drape in her possession not hung up marked with the date that she last washed and ironed them….did you read that??? WASHED AND IRONED! My drapes have NEVER been washed or ironed. Even when she was 85 years old she still got herself off the couch to dust. I can bet that she dusted more than me! Now that is sad!

My home is what I like to call “lived in”. If you surprised me on any given day you would find toys all over the floor, stuff lining my stairs just asking to be taken up, The Captains work laying out in his “office” (the kitchen table), and shoes piled up in front of the front door (Captain Awesome’s favorite spot to leave them). It’s not pretty by any means, but it’s home.

My question is when do you get it done? I spend every moment my son’s awake playing with him on the floor. I never put him in a pack and play so I could do other things. Right, wrong or indifferent all my energy goes into occupying my son. Then when’ he’s asleep I am either working, or have ZERO desire to clean because I am exhausted from the day. So what’s your secret?

Do I just accept that my home will never be the clean home? Do I train myself to be a better housewife? What do you suggest? There has to be a better way! What did Donna Reed and my Grandma know that I don’t?

I have always loved to be the hostess. Whether its for a quiet night in, game night or a nice dinner party I prefer to have people over to my house. It’s not that my house is set up great to entertain (it’s not), but I just truly enjoy having people over. Am I good at it? Not necessarily, but it’s fun. That all changed when I was pregnant and especially when I had my son. For some reason I lost the desire to host things at my house. It was the dinner party that really got pushed aside. When my son was born I couldn’t even make dinner for myself let alone others. The good news is that after over a year I finally have that desire to host again. How great is that!? I’m back to being the hostess!

It kind of came out of no where. The Captain and I decided to have people over for New Years Eve. Even though we ordered in food, I brought out my china and crystal and we had a nice dinner. I lit candles and cleaned the house and it was fun! Then the next week I suggested we invite 2 couples from my Captain Awesome’s work over for dinner. This time I cooked! We did appetizers, entre (Rachel Ray’s Lazy Baked Greek Chicken)  and dessert and I loved it! The little guy was put to bed and I was able to start my night. I loved the feeling that I COULD do this.

Later that weekend I cooked dinner for the inlaws (meatballs and sauce), and again, I proved to myself that I can take care of my son, but still make things for others. I am sure for some it’s easy, but for me it all sounded so overwhelming for a while.

In the past I hosted wine tasting parties in the back yard, 80’s themed parties and murder mystery parties. It was so fun! I want to get back to doing that. Who doesn’t love a good theme party!?

My house will never be the cleanest,I will never be the best cook, and maybe someday I will have the perfect home to entertain, but I think what makes a great hostess is someone who looks forward to having the job. Most of all I like people to be comfortable. Sit back, relax and enjoy. This hostess is back….now what should I do for my next dinner party?

TV and Furniture tip over related deaths and injuries are not slowing down. A child is killed once every two weeks, and tens of thousands are injured every year. When I read the article that the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission put out I was scared. I was scared because I watch my son pull up on things every day, and as much as you think “not my kid”, it could in fact be your kid that gets hurt, and doing whatever you can to safe guard your home is the way to start.

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission,

A new data report (pdf) shows that between 2000 and 2010, CPSC staff received reports of 245 tip-over-related deaths involving children 8 years old and younger. More than 90 percent of the incidents involved children 5 years old and younger. In more than half of the 245 fatalities (56%), the child was crushed by the weight of the television, furniture, or appliance. The majority of these children suffered fatal injuries to the head (67%).

In addition, more than 22,000 children 8 years old and younger are treated in hospital emergency rooms every year (2008-2010) for injuries related to instability or tipover of televisions, furniture, and appliances. And like the fatalities, a majority of these injuries (56%) are to the head

What scary statistics!? When I had a professional baby proofer come into my home he pointed out all the things that could be tipped over. At first I didn’t believe it was all necessary, but as I watched my son pull up on things, I began to see how easily it could be pulled down.

The most common tip-over scenarios involve toddlers who have climbed onto, fallen against or pulled themselves up on furniture. About 70 percent of children’s fatalities (169 incidents) involved falling televisions, and 27 percent (65 incidents) involved only furniture falling. Of the 135 child fatalities where furniture fell by itself or fell with a TV, the majority of incidents (64%) involved a chest, dresser, or a bureau. Often, these pieces of furniture have drawers that children can use to climb.

To prevent tragedies follow these safety tips in any home where children live or visit:

• Anchor furniture to the wall or the floor.
• Place TVs on sturdy, low bases.
• Or, anchor the furniture and the TV on top of it, and push the TV as far back on the furniture as possible.
• Keep remote controls, toys, and other items that might attract children off TV stands or furniture.
• Keep TV and/or cable cords out of reach of children.
• Make sure freestanding kitchen ranges and stoves are installed with anti-tip brackets.
• Supervise children in rooms where these safety tips have not been followed.

KidCo offer both an Anti Tipping furniture Strap, and Anti Tipping TV strap to help protect those items from causing your child harm.

Not only do you have to be diligent in your own home, but what about grandparents and friends? It’s here that we forget about safety sometimes, and their TV can be pulled down just as easily as your own.

The bottom line? It’s important to be aware of the dangers in your home. When I was made aware of this report from the U.S. Product Safety Commission I was shocked, so I thought it was important to share the information with all of you. Do with it as you wish!

But let’s not pretend that such a thing is easy even if it’s practical. We have entire lives in the places we call home. Family, friends, favorite restaurants and landmarks, all factor into the majority of people’s decisions to stay right where they grew up and go no where else. It’d be hard to find a person on Earth who doesn’t feel this way. It’s not easy saying goodbye to the surroundings we’ve grown comfortable with even if we can’t find work or if we can’t find further opportunity in our hometowns.

Add that to the fact that unemployment and opportunity varies from city to city and state to state. Do so, and it doesn’t take much to assume that if more Americans were willing to move to another city, our unemployment rate would be a little lower than what it is today. Competition between applicants for professional positions would also be lowered if people were more willing to disperse themselves. Online MBA programs, for example, allow people to study a professional calling anywhere, so they can live anywhere their skill sets are most demanded.

Couples where one or both spouses are unsure as to how they’ll find work or how they’ll find a promotion need to at least consider the benefits of getting enrolled into an online school if it means the chance for better opportunity. It could be UOP or any of the other accredited choices, so long as it allows for moving if necessary. Education is essential, but if opportunity is elsewhere, you don’t want to be tied down with a program in a traditional university.

Why should new couples looking for work get cracking on possibly moving to another town as soon as possible? Number one, there will be no better time to do so. Do you think having kids makes such a transition easier? Number two, let’s be honest: you could sure use all of those gifts from your wedding and monies received to fund and fuel your move. And number three, you have each other as opposed to moving independently. The team effort always increases the odds of success.

At least think about moving. Peruse the Bureau of Labor Statistics employment data on American cities. Research regions of the country to find somewhere that has a demand for the talent or education you or your spouse offers. Analyze locations to see if you find one particular city alluring. Every marriage needs its inaugural adventure. Relocating might be best when there aren’t many opportunities left where you came from. If you’re taking the best part of your life with you, there’s no worrying about what you’re leaving behind.

Guest post by Jess

I find it absolutely amazing how much “stuff” one can collect over the years. I have lived in my own home for about 9 years at this point (meaning stuff isn’t at my parents), and over that time I have accumulated more “stuff” than anyone could possibly need. As The Captain will be quick to tell you, most of it really serves no real purpose, but they are my things and therefore I value them. Hey, it’s quite possible that even if I don’t need the things now, I may need it in the future right? So therefore we keep it. Now, with a new baby in the house I have a feeling that “stuff” is going to grow exponentially…what the heck will I do with it all?

We currently live in a two bedroom townhouse, and I must admit we are quickly growing out of it. Yes, a lot of people out there live in smaller quarters than we do. But for me, I am starting to feel cramped. One great feature of our house is the attic. Although Captain Awesome HATES going up there (it’s a pull down steps attic), I hope he can at least admit that it serves it’s purpose well. At this point I have filled that attic up to it’s capacity. What’s in there? I sometimes don’t even know! Some of the main things are my “seasonal” decorations. I love to decorate our home for each season, and I have a TON of bins filled with “stuff” so that I can do it. Are they necessary? No…but they make me happy.

Our son doesn’t even play with toys yet, and our living area is filled with different apparatuses to keep him content. The swing…the exersaucer…the pack and play…all large items. Soon we will be adding toys, walkers and even a jumparoo! All things that take up room. And with grandparents who love to spoil him, I have a feeling that there will be a lot more where that came from!

At one point The Captain and I thought about renting a storage unit, and considered using Storage Concierge to find one that suited us, but after looking into it further we found the prices to be way more than we wanted to spend. Could we go through and purge some stuff? Sure! But I doubt that Captain Awesome and I could agree on what to keep and what to throw out. Not to mention that The Captain hates to throw things out period. So that leaves us back where we started…with lots and lots of STUFF!

Everyone tells me that it doesn’t matter how big of a home we move in to, and no matter what we’d fill that space up to the max. More space means more stuff. I think I can believe that. I am not looking into moving all this stuff out of here down the line. I can only imagine how many more things we’ll accumulate by that time. Just think where we’ll be 20 years down the line!?  I cringe just thinking about it!

When I started this blog, my main goal was to share about my life as a wife. I was newly married, and I really strived at being a good housewife. Why was it so important? Well, it’s because it was what I wanted to be…I work for the money, but I really feel/felt that my calling was to be a wife and mother first and foremost, and at that time I was really able to focus on the “wife” part, so that’s what I did. Over time the blog kind of transformed along with the different paths my life decided to take. Now, I am finally a mother, and loving every second of it…but with all my energy now going into taking care of our child, I feel that my duties with work and around the home have really lacked. I think it’s time to create a new balance in my life to mirror all my new roles….mother, wife, maid, cook, sales person….well you see where I am going.

As you may or may not know I work from home, so for a while that made me a “Work At Home Wife” . Now, not only am I home taking care of our child, I also need to keep up my work load.. so I guess that now makes me a “Work At Home Mom”. I think this is a little different than a SAHM because it adds just one more dynamic to the mix. I know in the long run that I am so very lucky to be able to work from home, but that meant immediately after having my child I was taking work phone calls from the hospital. It also means that I do my work while my son is feeding on my breast, being burped or taking a nap. Basically, any moment that has him quiet. It is a great set up for me and my family, and I know I am lucky to be able to do it. But with our son being my top priority…sometimes work becomes a little more difficult. I am lucky my boss (my dad) has been picking up my slack!

The Captain laughs at me when I try to take on a task rather then having someone else help. Tasks like grocery shopping or bringing in the dry cleaning. My answer to why I don’t want someone to watch the baby while doing these things is “I have to figure it out”. I do! It’s going to be my job to do these things…I want it to be my job, so I have to learn to do it myself WITH the baby. Isn’t that what SAHM’s do? My mom was a SAHM of 3 kids and was able to do everything involving the house. I want to be able to do that too. If that means a bit of a learning curve so be it…I’m up for the challenge.

Things like grocery shopping and cooking are more of a challenge now. I still haven’t figured out how to bring the infant seat into the store and still be able to do a large shopping trip…anyone suggest how that works? If you put the seat into the cart where does the food go? If I bring in the stroller how do I push the cart? For now I am using Pea Pod, the Stop and Shop Grocery delivery service. They are offering free shipping for the next 60 days so that should give me some time to figure it all out. For now, it’s great shopping online and having the groceries delivered to my door. Cooking? Another challenge. I try to do things when the baby is sleeping but sometimes that is hard to do, and it seems that feeding time always comes right when I want to cook. See I like my food hot and served right after cooking. I’m not big on cooking earlier in the day and reheating…just not my thing. I seem to be cooking a few times a week…again, I’m still learning.

The cleaning? A smaller challenge but one none the less. The Captain was nice enough to allow us to get a cleaning lady come this past weekend to do a major clean. See, since my mom left after helping with the baby when he was born I hadn’t been able to do a major clean, and then the holidays came and the house just became a mess. Now, I think I will be able to keep up with the clean since I am starting out with a clean house. Let’s hope that works! If not I do my best…a spic and span house has never been my forte..

So as you can see I am learning. I am learning to balance all the aspects of my life, or at least trying to. The one major thing is that everything else is secondary to taking care of my son. That will always come first. The rest can wait if it needs to.

My husband and I were very lucky to end up in our section of the neighborhood. As you know we live in a town house community, and it is a known fact that since you are connected to your neighbor that it is quite possible they could make you very miserable. Since we are “social” people and some would say “loud”,(ok we like to party) we were very worried about who we would end up with as neighbors. But boy did we worry for nothing because we ended up being blessed with the best neighbors we could ask for.

Let’s start with our neighbors to the right and left of us.(you can see them in the picture I attached at the top). To my right is young couple who are the same age as my and my husband. We are extremely similar and have become very good friends. Sometimes I feel like I am back in college when it comes to these two because we party together, watch TV and sports games in each other’s homes, and me and “M” even exchange shoes and clothes. It’s wonderful. To my left is another amazing couple who have an amazing little girl. Little “L” always makes me smile and gives the best little hugs. Her mom “S” is great to talk to and I know that I can count on her if I need her.

If you branch out to the rest of our row of houses you will find many other great couples. There are kids and adults and I love coming out around 7 PM on a nice evening to find everyone outside just talking and socializing. It’s just how I grew up. Just yesterday I wandered down the street to visit my friend who just had a baby boy, and ended up eating pizza and watching a girly movie. Who wouldn’t love that? With all the gossiping going on here we joke that we live in Melrose place or on Wisteria lane.

Over the past two years of living here I really made some great friends. We know this isn’t our forever home, so it’s sad to think that we may not get this lucky again. But for now we will enjoy our home, and enjoy the great people we’ve met.

My husband and I are not so lucky. Like my family, his family isn’t very handy when it comes to fixing things, and his dad always went the route of paying someone else to do it.

My Husband Teaches Himself

Therefore, my husband and I are starting out not as lucky as my parents were. We have two choices when it comes to home repairs. I am not like my mom and have zero idea how to put anything together, so that really leaves my husband with the two choices. Either try to fix it himself…or pay someone else to do it. I give him a lot of credit because so far…he has decided to do it himself, and as it turns out he’s good at it! He’s Mr. Fix it!

I love watching my husband learn to fix something. In the past I have been impressed that he was able to install blinds, change light fixtures, and change door handles. To some, this may seem like small potatoes, but for a couple who has never had to fix ANYTHING it’s huge. The most recent task was a leaky kitchen sink. Personally, plumbing scares me. There are so many parts, and I figure there are plumbers out there for a reason, but my husband decided he could tackle the task. He took pictures of the pipes and brought them to Home Depot, and after getting the wrong part the first time, he was back in business.

Granted, he did decide to fix the leak at 1 PM on a Sunday when we had to leave for an engagement party at 2:45…but I guess it’s better that he started right? It’s best that I be grateful that he decided to do it all right?

So as a newlywed it’s great to see my husband taking an interest in this role. I know it is a role I certainly will not be taking. I also find it pretty sexy when I see how proud he is of himself over finishing these tasks…I guess there’s just something about a guy with tools….

Who does the fixing around your house?

My View on Bedding and Duvet Covers

I am a person who likes to change things up when it comes to the bedding department. And why not? You can get a great bed in a bag set for under $100 these days, but the same inexpensive price tag does not apply when it comes to duvet covers. Why is that? I have already paid a small fortune for the down bedding…and that’s fine, but now I need to pay another fortune to cover it??? In my opinion the covers should be very inexpensive and that way people could/would buy more of them. I know I would. In reality it is just 2 pieces of fabric sewn together on 3 sides with buttons on the fourth side…I could probably even do that myself. (Ok, I can’t, but it’s wonderful to talk about it.)  It all just makes no sense at all. Who are these people who decide on the price of the covers? I’ll tell you who…mean, mean people who like to mock me!

So now that my rant is over I figured I’d share a Duvet cover I found on Amazon.com. I didn’t buy it so I haven’t seen it in person, but this set actually looks pretty reasonable! It’s a 7 piece set for $79.99, and that includes throw pillows! Ok, and here is the best part…100% cotton means machine washable! How great is that!?

I think duvet consumers should unite! Let’s tell the stores we won’t pay $300 for a duvet set! (Ok my set is expensive but I got it from my bridal party for my shower!) And from now on we aren’t going to stand for it! We want reasonably priced, machine washable covers!

Ok…Rant over…

Family Help Traditions

Growing up my grandma would always visit and help my mom around the house doing the jobs that she herself never wanted to do. Now, my mom feels that she should pay it forward and do the same for me. These jobs include, washing the windows, mopping the floors, dusting everything very thoroughly, wiping my baseboards…the list could go on and on. This visit she did all that and more. It is so helpful to have someone else do those jobs. Those are the things that no one really sees unless you look up close. Those jobs always get put to the way side, and in my case don’t ever get done.

Other Family Visit Benefits

With her visits come other fun activities. I am lucky enough to have a flexible job and a great boss. (Thanks dad!) Therefore, when my mom visits we are able to do other things which mostly include shopping. My husband someday will have to ban her visits due to the amount of money I spend when she’s here! This time actually wasn’t bad since we both are slowing down our spending and did not buy much, but we still did a lot of errands! It’s fun doing my errands with someone else.

Another thing we do when she visits is EAT! Wow, am I fat after this visit.  She loves trying new and different food (unlike me) and we always end up eating out at different restaurants. This time we did Greek food, Tai food, and greasy baseball stadium food (courtesy of the new Met’s Citi Field). All were very wonderful, but my waistline is not very pleased with me. But hey, all in the name of family, right?

So there ya have it. The sergeant has come and gone, and I wish she could come more often. But I am thankful that both of our schedules are flexible enough to have her come as much as she does. Now it’s back to my normal routine…that is until Thursday when my brother flies in from Europe! Lots of family house guests this weeks!