In my world, Aunt’s and Uncles are direct family members. They are my dad and mom’s brothers and sisters…bottom line. Captain Awesome on the other hand uses Aunt and Uncle much more liberally. A good family friend could be called Aunt. For him it’s a way to express a closeness to a friend, and now that we have a son he wants to call pretty much everyone in our lives Aunt and Uncle…What do we do about that?

We are blessed to have close friends. Most of them are his close friends who have, over time, become my close friends, and their spouses are now both of our friends. We are definitely lucky to have them in our life. Soon enough our son will be getting to know who they are, and their names, and soon enough we have to decide what to refer to them as.

Captain Awesome wants almost everyone to be Aunt and Uncle. I honestly don’t mind it…but does our son refer to them as Aunt/Uncle when they don’t use the same terms with us? A friend that he grew up with since 10 years old may be an uncle to him, but can he be an uncle in my book?

Is it just a word or does someone have to EARN the title of uncle/aunt? Should it be used liberally, or be a term set aside for family. Sometimes friends can closer than our family….who wins out? Or do both?

A lot of people ask me…”how do you split up the holiday?”. I am sure many of you can relate that holiday times can be stressful due to trying to make everyone in your life happy. I actually felt very little stress this Thanksgiving because everything has been settled and I think everyone got what they wanted. Best of all I got to share the day with my little man for the first time.

Here’s how we split it. On Thursday..actual Thanksgiving…we go to my in laws house and celebrate Thanksgiving with them. For those that don’t know they live 5 minutes away. We spent the entire day with most of Captain Awesome’s immediate family and got some great quality time in with them. Then, on Friday morning we hopped in the car to travel to PA to spend the weekend with my family. My family then celebrated Thanksgiving on Saturday. To me, it’s not about what day you spend together, its that you find the time to spend that day. So, I felt very blessed that both my brother and sister came to my parents house so that we all could be together. I always love to have us all under one roof again. It certainly makes for some good laughs!

Last year I wasn’t able to travel to PA due to the fact that my son was due a few weeks later…who would’ve thought he would’ve surprised me 6 days later!? But that’s for another post. I was just so happy to be able to celebrate with both families so that everyone could be together. Like I said…stress free! Now that’s how the holidays should be!

Happy Thanksgiving! What did you do?

Ok, so the title was a bit dramatic, and maybe we didn’t conquer much, but we did fly to Atlanta, and we did see a whole bunch in Atlanta. Captain Awesome is a HUGE Atlanta Falcons fan, and has always talked about going to a game. So, even before our little cherub was born, we planned to go to Atlanta to celebrate The Captain’s 30th birthday, so that he could show his son his favorite team! So together with the two Grandma’s, Captain Awesome, the baby and myself flew to Atlanta to see the sites and catch a game! Go Falcons!

Flying to Atlanta meant that it was time for Christian to go on his first airplane ride! I was extremely nervous since he is such an active little guy, but I have to tell you he was such a trooper! I will do a separate post on flying with a baby soon, but the short version was that at 10 1/2 months he did great, although I will admit that I think 2 1/2 or 3 hours would be our flying limit at this point. You really can’t rationalize with a 10 month old!

We stayed at the Downtown Marriott Marquis. Great location if you want to be able to walk to all the tourist attractions. It’s close to the Coke Museum, Aquarium, CNN center and of course the Georgia Dome (which  we took an amazing tour of!).Other than that there isn’t too many stores and restaurants to wander to, but since we were only there for a few days it was perfect!

We did a lot of sightseeing and our little guy was such a trooper. I mean it…he was a pleasure to be with and took to the change in his schedule with stride. It was even our first time sharing a hotel room with him and he slept well (except for 1 night of course). It helped a lot having the Grandmas there for extra support. It’s always good to have an extra pair of hands.

The culmination of our trip was the Falcon’s game. We had AMAZING seats and I even arranged for Freddie The Falcon to come and surprise The Captain and our little man during the game. Christian had to warm up to him but it was still pretty cool! The dome was soooo loud! Christian handled it very well and even slept in the Ergo carrier throughout the 3rd quarter through all the screams and music. I was surprised but extremely impressed. Funny thing is that the littlest noise at home will wake him…who would’ve thought!? Finally Captain Awesome got to cheer for his favorite team with out almost getting beat up (which he almost does every time he goes to see the Falcons here in NY!).

Well, we successfully took our first trip with the baby. Meaning a trip that required flying and a hotel. I was scared and nervous but it was great. I just hope my son continues to be so adaptable. Atlanta was fun. I just can’t believe that this trip that we have been talking about for so long has now come and gone. Next big trip? Disney Spring 2013!!!

I remember the first time I told my parents that I’d been asked out on a date. I remember them looking at each other, clearing their throats and sitting me down for “the talk.” Funnily enough, I remember less about the actual conversation than I do their obvious discomfort. (Well to be honest, I think my mother handled it a bit better than my father.)

Now I’m an adult, and my parents rely on me; they turn to me to discuss both financial and personal issues as they come up. They have come to count on me. And it’s occurred to me that there’s another “talk” to be had by us all; that of what they would wish for in their old age. It’s not an easy talk to have on either side. I have a hard time admitting that my parents are getting older, and sometimes I think they have a hard time admitting it themselves.

How to Approach The Long Term Care Talk With Parents

Here are a few thoughts on how to approach “the talk” about ageing and long-term care.

Be able to listen

Do you really know what challenges, daily and otherwise that your parents face? Don’t assume that you do, nor should you assume that you really know the state of their health. Be open to their wishes. Ask them what kind of future they envision.  If you come informed of options available, then you can start a discussion about needs, problems and what your parents hope for. This is about making their lives easier and more secure.

Make a Plan

Simple things can become insurmountable tasks in difficult times. Something as basic as compiling a list of people to contact in an emergency can become a stressful experience. This can easily be avoided by making a list of all emergency contacts, both family and professional and including doctors, lawyers and service-providers. Genworth recommends creating a phone-tree and sharing it with all involved before you need to use it.

 The Legal System

Are your parents up to date with all relevant legal documents? Those include a current will, a durable power of attorney (to enable someone to make financial and legal decisions on their behalf), a living will (with clear wishes for end-of-life care), and a power of attorney for health care (specifically toward medical decisions). Seek out trusted legal advice and make sure that it is appropriately administered when the time comes.

Home Sweet Home

Most of us would rather receive care in the comfort of our own homes, but sometimes adjustments need to be made. Are there any improvements that can be made to make living at home easier? Small things like rails in bathrooms, ramps and lifts might do a great deal to ease anxiety. Personal Care Assistants or Companions can aid with household care like cleaning and cooking, as well as provide a conduit to the outside world by running errands. Home Health Aides and nurses can provide more skilled support.

If in-home care isn’t viable, then what are the other possibilities? You’ll find that there are a great many options these days, from assisted living facilities to adult day health care center that provide daytime social and therapeutic activities. Some people prefer to live independently with on-site support for daily activities in an assisted living facility.  If skilled and intense care is needed, then a Nursing Home is the best option for skilled supervision, medication administration, therapies, and rehabilitation.

The High Cost of Care

Long-term care doesn’t have to be a debilitating burden to both you and your parents. There are many options for long-term care insurance. Know what policies are available and best for you and your family early on, as the cost of insurance is determined by location, facility, health status, and age of the policyholder. The cost of care today is rising beyond the rate of inflation. So is the cost of long-term care insurance. But a little communication and planning goes a long way towards creating security and peace of mind.

Before you think…”OMG Jen is holding a gun!”….I will tell you that it’s a bee bee gun and I am shooting at cans (not very well might I add!). ANYWHO! Last weekend The Captain, our little man, our little Tinkerbell and myself hopped in the car and traveled to the Poconos to spend the weekend with my family. As a matter of fact Captain Awesome and I visited this house before two years ago when we went on a bit of a “weekend retreat” to heal after I had the miscarriage. It felt great to return this time with our son, and the rest of my family to spend some quality time together.

I’d like to give a shout out to my brother in law and sister for setting it all up. The house is owned by his family, and it was EXTREMELY cool of them to allow us to spend the weekend there. I love when we get to do things such as this with my family because I am a true believer that good memories are so important for a family and getaways such as this allows for many great memories to be created. Although we didn’t do much in terms of activities, just being together took us all out of our mundane daily activities to do and be somewhere different.

It’s funny that if you sit on your couch in your home it’s called being lazy, but if you sit around when you are away it’s called “vacation”. When my family gets together we do alot of sitting, but one thing that doesn’t lack is the laughter. Just give us a couple bottles of wine, a lot of beer and you get a recipe for silliness! Even when our night time bonfire got disrupted by 2 pesky skunks!

All in all it was a wonderful weekend away in the woods with my family. I was happy they got to love and play with our little man, and I always enjoy spending time with them. Maybe we can make this an annual thing!?

I do my best to be organized when it comes to matters of our little family. I keep binders for a lot of things including a medical binder which holds all of our medical information. I’m always looking for new ways to keep track of our family information, and by doing that a new website was brought to my attention…. About One.com . AboutOne is a family management website that allows you to keep track of all the important information that you need on hand about your family. It’s easy to use, and I think it’s going to help me out a lot now that little Christian is here!

When you sign into the AboutOne site you will see a few tabs at the top. This makes it quick and easy access the area you are looking add information to, or to review any information that you have already added. There is Home, Family, Relationships, Education, Health and Home. All of these tabs will hold valuable information once you put them all in. One of my favorite things that can be done with the site is that you can create your own family newsletter! You can keep family and friends up to date with what is going on in your life easily, just by adding milestones and events into the site and clicking “add to family newsletter”.

The Relationship tab will house all of the contact information of people in your life. Pretty much like an online address book. The Education Tab will keep track of any school information that you, or your child may have. The Health tab is great because it keeps track of doctors appointment, medications, and diagnosis. I liked this tab because it will allow me to keep track and remember dates of appointments, and if and when me, or my future child was given medication. That stuff is easily forgotten! Finally there is the Homes Tab. This tab allows you to add homes, or properties you own in order to keep track of when and what updates were made, when the home was bought, and many other things. On all tabs you can easily upload important documents so that you can access them when you need them without sorting through paperwork.

How much does the site cost? Well first off they allow you to try it for FREE for 15 days with no credit card required. Once you decide that you want to use it, you can sign up for a monthly plan of $5/month, or you can save 50% off the monthly plan by signing up for the year for $30!

I love that the site is easy to use, and allows you to access all of your family’s information very easily. Best of all it’s secure! Any family could use a site that would make their lives easier, and AboutOne does just that. I can’t wait to put little Pooh Bear’s info in!!!

AboutOne gave me a years subscription to try the site for this review. All thoughts and opinions as always are my own.

Let’s start off by saying that I can’t believe my little sister’s wedding has come and gone. It’s been over a year of planning, and now she is officially a wife. I hope she doesn’t go into the post wedding depression like I did after my wedding. It was just so hard to go back to every day life. The day I had looked forward to for so long was over…but that was me. This post is about my sister and her beautiful wedding day in Philadelphia Pennsylvania.

The weather was beautiful on October 2nd, which is amazing since all the days leading up to, and even the day after were nothing but clouds and rain. But not on that Saturday. The weather was 68 degrees and sunny. Just perfect! I stayed over at my sisters house the night before so that I could share in every part of the special day. What I didn’t realize I was signing up for was a 5:30 am sister chat session. It seems that the bride couldn’t sleep….and therefore was ready to chat. Of course being the good Matron on Honor that I am I obliged and chatted. It was nice just to lay there in bed and talk. It really felt like a sisterly moment. As tired as I was I was happy we had that time. If you ask me today what we spoke about I couldn’t tell you. What I do know is at the time I THOUGHT I was awake, but looking back maybe I was half asleep!

Eventually, we got up showered and began the process of getting ready. It was time to meet the rest of the 10 bridesmaids at the hair salon. It’s really amazing what girls do to get ready for weddings. It really takes hours to look so beautiful! We all got our hair and make up done…got dressed and waited to go. But the day couldn’t go by with out a glitch…does it ever? Nope! This glitch was a rather big one. The 40 passenger party bus that was picking up the groomsmen, and then the bridesmaids broke down! The groomsmen were stuck, and the bride had no way to get to the church. Even worse, when I called the company to find a solution they were HORRIBLE! I will throw this in there that you should never use the company The Party Ride !!! They had the worst customer service basically telling us there was nothing they could/would do. Seriously? This is probably one of the biggest days of a woman’s life and there is nothing you can do? The poor groomsmen luckily got picked up by guests on their way to the church, (more specifically by Captain Awesome and my mother in law) and the poor bride had to arrive at her wedding in a mini van. I personally think she handled it EXTREMELY well. I personally would’ve had a huge bridezilla moment, but not Kelly. She did not let it ruin her day one bit, and I am so proud of her for that. The silver lining? The groomsmen went into superhero action and got another limo that could pretty much accommodate what we needed. Good job guys! My hero’s!

The ceremony was just great! We all made it down the aisle with no problem….except for maybe the part where my dad stepped on Kelly’s cathedral length veil and it fell off as she started up to the altar! (sorry dad…it was just funny) Kelly and I laughed so hard we cried. I think it will be a good memory on the video. I can’t wait to see our faces!

After the ceremony it was time for pictures! With a bridal party of 20 it’s always hard, but this group were pros. We all piled into the Hummer Limo. We were minus the parents, but Captain Awesome was nice enough to play chauffeur to them. (on a side note I have to give him credit for being the best husband ever that weekend. He was a huge help to my family, and played chauffeur like a champ!) With the whole party bus debacle we were lucky enough to have a ride as it was! The Groomsmen piled the limo with tons of beer (which I couldn’t have), and even Philadelphia style soft pretzels. (now that’s what I’m talking about!) We had a grand time!

After all the business was taken care of it was time to party!! The reception was held at the Downtown club in the center of Philadelphia, near Independence hall. I have been to many weddings, and always notice the little things, and I have to tell you that this place knew how to throw a good wedding. They had all the little details covered, and we all know it’s the little details that make a wedding. From cocktail hour (appetizers)….to Viennese hour (dessert)…everything was great. Best of all everyone had a wonderful time! Even more importantly, it looked like the bride and groom had a blast! I loved to see my sister smile like that. She looked truly happy. She had that look that every bride should have on their wedding day…the look of pure joy and happiness.

In my eyes the day was just great! I know I keep saying this but I can’t believe it’s all over! Congratulations to my little sister and my new brother in law! May you both share years of happiness!

Marked photos are courtesy of a sneak peak from the photographer Paul Roebuck of Unique Concepts Studio Inc.

]]> http://afterthealter.com/my-sisters-wedding-part-two/feed/ 4 http://afterthealter.com/my-sisters-wedding-part-1/ http://afterthealter.com/my-sisters-wedding-part-1/#comments Mon, 04 Oct 2010 14:00:18 +0000 Jen http://afterthealter.com/?p=4284

I have so much to say about my sisters wedding that I think it will take 2 parts to actually get it all out like I want to. It was the most beautiful day and she made the most beautiful bride! I was so happy to be a part of it as Matron of Honor, and I figured to start off, I would share the speech I gave at the wedding. I think this will give you a little bit of a look into the bride and groom!

Matron Of Honor Speech

For those of you who don’t know me my name is Jen, and I am Kelly’s older sister. Please bare with me because I have a feeling it’s going to be hard for me to get through this speech without tears in general, and add to it being 7 1/2 months pregnant I will be happy if I can just find my words…I want to start out by congratulating both Kelly and John Paul on this special day. I also wanted to thank you both for allowing me to be such a big part of it. I feel blessed to have been able to watch my little sister marry her best friend. Kelly, you look absolutely stunning, and John Paul you look truly handsome.  I hope you are having the most amazing day, and I am so happy to welcome John Paul into our family. He makes a wonderful addition.

I was extremely lucky to have a sister growing up. Some people say that sisters always fight, and are overly competitive Although that did happen sometimes…for the most part Kelly and I always got along. Sure sometimes she could be annoying…like when she would incessantly say “I want to go home” any time our mom and dad would take us anywhere…or when she’d  share a Slurpee with Matt and I and be sure to drink all of it so that we would get none. But really, those aren’t the times that truly stand out in my head. What I remember is having a friend growing up. Someone who was always there to play with me. Someone who would dress up and put on dance shows at night for our mom and dad…someone who would attempt to play basketball with me after dinner (on a side note the Foley sister’s were not very athletic) and someone just to laugh with. Today, I am 30 years old and Kelly and I STILL almost get kicked out from the dinner table because of our laughing fits. That friendship didn’t end when we grew up and left the house. No…it got stronger. Over the years Kelly has become someone that I could count on for just about anything. She is always there to celebrate the good times with me, but will also lend a shoulder to cry on when I encounter the bad. That’s the definition of a true friend, and the fact that she is also my sister means that no matter what she can’t get rid of me.

John Paul, thank you for being such a wonderful partner for Kelly. Some say we all have a soul mate out there, and the reason I know Kelly has found hers is because you are able to handle her better than anyone else I know. Somehow, when she’s with you she is calm…Maybe it’s because you have never felt an ounce of stress in your life, but since I am pretty sure Kelly stresses out enough for the both of you..you have both found y our match.

I remember when Kelly first started talking about John Paul when they were in college. She would tell us of the sweet things he was always doing for her. It didn’t take long for her to see he was a catch. John Paul is very good with his hands and would make her things, and one time for her birthday he made up a whole gift package, and the basket it came in was filled with peanuts. Why you ask? Well at the time he used to call her peanut, and I got to tell you I thought it was the cutest and sweetest thing I’d ever seen. Not many men put that much thought and effort into a gift. I remember thinking to myself…this guys a keeper!

I wish I could offer some solid marriage advice now that I am an old married lady of two years…but I don’t think I can come up with anything original! What I can tell you is to always be each other’s best friend. Life throws a lot at you, and it helps not only to have a husband or wife by your side, but also your friend.. Remember.. Separately, you are two special, remarkable people, but together you are complete. As you sit side by side through this roller coaster of life, remember to scream from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loop the loops, and enjoy every twist and turn.

For the ride is much better when you share it together.

Now please don’t judge the way we look in these photos. I will have to remind you that Captain Awesome and I probably indulged in a few cocktails during picture taking time…so please disregard some of the droopy eyes!

Our first New Years together was 2000-2001. We had just gotten together (not officially) and were invited into Manhattan to celebrate the New Year in style! A fraternity brother of The Captain reserved a suite at the Michelangelo Hotel in the city (go ahead, check out the hotel’s website), and boy was it an amazing experience! There were about 10 of us, and it was spectacular! The hotel reserved a spot on the street so that a few minutes before the ball dropped in Time’s Square, we were able to leave the warmthof the hotel to see it all happen! All this with out having to wait outside in the cold like every one else! So that year I got to see the ball drop AND be comfortable! Looking back I am in awe to think that I got to kiss my future husband at the stroke of midnight in the year 2001. We’ve marked the new year with a kiss every since!

Amazingly enough I don’t have a picture of the two of us together for the year 2001-2002. It’s kind of sad!

For the year 2002-2003 a friend of ours worked out a deal with a local restaurant/bar so that we could all celebrate New Years Eve together. This was my first year out of college, and as it turns out I remember my first apartment being walking distance from the restaurant. It was rather convinient! (The Captain is throwing a “Blue Steel” type look!)

To celebrate the end of 2003 and the beginning of 2004 we traveled into Manhattan. This time not as fancy as our night at the Michelangelo, but I guess they all can’t be that fancy right?

In 2004 Captain Awesome decided to go with the goatee. Personally I HATE facial hair, and I do everything in my power to keep him from growing it. This particular year we were at yet another bar in Manhattan. I like this year because it was the year that The Captain and I introduced my best friend, to one of his good friends. It was a match made in heaven and today the two are married!

To ring in 2006 our group of friends decided to go all out and celebrate at a local catering hall. I’m not sure if they do this type of thing in your area, but here in Long Island they charge an arm and a leg so that you can eat a nice dinner and dance the night away. I loved that we got to get all dressed up, so I found it to be a fun time.

In 2006-2007 I really thought that by New Years Eve I would’ve been engaged. It just wasn’t in the cards, so this year marked our last year as an unbetrothed couple. We loved the catering hall so much the year before that we tried to repeat it at a different location, but the party fell a little short. Of course we still had a good time! I mean come on they give you hats!!!

Being the responsible adults that we are, our group of friends decided not to go broke ringing in 2008. Our friends (the couple we introduced a few years before) graciously opened their home for a party. We still got hats and noisemakers so I was extremely happy! 2007 was a year of engagment celebration and as sad as I was to see it go…I knew that 2008 brought on new beginnings! We certainly had a lot to celebrate!

I got a little surprise the night before this particular New Years Eve. I woke up in the middle of the night to a wonderful stomach bug! I was so sad because I knew 2008-2009 was our first New Years as a married couple. How could I not celebrate the passing of the most wonderful year of my life? It deserved to be recognized! So I manned up, got dressed that night and accompanied The Captain to our friends house. I was glad I did!

So there you have it folks! The run down of our New Year’s Eve celebrations. I am looking forward to celebrating our 10th New Year’s Eve together…and to be honest I am welcoming 2010. So this year I plan on partying like a rock star, because who knows if I will be able to next year! I’m going to get dressed up, get all pretty and hopefully celebrate our last New Years Eve with out a baby in tow!

I am sure all of you are pretty tired at this point of me telling you how much I love Christmas time, but guess what? You are going to have to hear about it again. Christmas is a holiday that is full of traditions in my house. Some may say that I am stuck in my ways, but each year I insist on doing things the same way. Because when it comes to Christmas change is no good, and I know that it wouldn’t feel like Christmas to me if it were done any other way…so I wanted to share with you my Christmas traditions…The traditions that make me such a happy girl this time of year.

1. It all starts with the cutting down of the Christmas tree. A fake tree won’t do. I will admit that I strayed and had a fake tree in my home for a few years, but my parents tree is NEVER fake. Each year our family gets together to go to the Christmas tree farm to cut down the tree. It’s always been a joke that we make my dad hike to the farthest spot to cut down the tree, but these days I feel less and less bad because we have my brother, my husband, and future brother in law to help him with the manly duties of cutting the tree. In my own home The Captain and I have had a real tree for the past 2 years. The reason behind the fake tree for so many years was because I didn’t know of a Christmas tree farm in LI (it’s not like PA), but last year we gave in and bought a pre cut tree. This year we braved the rain and went to a local tree farm (although it wasn’t the best and I wouldn’t go back there). We got a pre cut tree there too though…but I had to give The Captain a break since it was pouring rain and muddy..I didn’t want to make him lay on the ground and chop it down!
2. Decorating the tree. I LOVE decorating the tree! In the past Captain Awesome has been fired from Christmas decorating due to his lack of enthusiam (I’m not sure if that really was punishment to him) but this year I told him it was important to me if he helped so he did…by helping I mean putting up 1 ornament and making us Hot Toddies, but I think providing the alcoholic beverages is a perfect job for him! The bottom line is that we had a nice afternoon together listening to Christmas music and being together..so it was a start of a great tradition for us. I also help to decorate my parents tree after we cut it down. It’s great to put up all the old ornaments. They each have such a special meaning. Their tree is filled with all the ornaments we made as children. I can’t wait to have ones like that up on my tree in the future. My tree at home is starting to have meaningful ornaments such as the “our first home” ones, as well as “Our first Christmas” ones we got after we were married.
3. Christmas Eve. For Christmas we travel to PA. All the years we were dating my husband and I did separate holidays, but once we got engaged my husband made the effort to come with me to PA. I am so thankful he recognizes  the importance of this holiday to me. Christmas Eve we normally go over to a family friends house who has and “open house”, then we go to church, and then we eat a wonderful dinner prepared by my mom. After all that it’s time to open presents (Like a Black Diamond Ring) from the family to each other. Every year we get a game, and every year we play that game into the night! We also all get a pair of new pajamas that are to be worn on Christmas eve. (Can’t stray from the tradition) When we were younger my dad would read “The Night Before Christmas” to us before we went to bed…I hope that when I have children The Captain will continue that tradition. This year I am hoping to find a good signature cocktail to drink! (any suggestions?)
4. Christmas day we still tend to get up early because we are excited to see what Santa has brought (yes I know Im 29). The pocket doors to the living room are closed and we can’t go in until we are all awake! We turn on the Christmas music, open presents and spend the morning watching the parade and “A Christmas Story”. We eat our holiday meal early around 1, and through out the afternoon and into the evening we get visitors!

I am sure there are a ton more traditions that I am forgetting, but the point is that it is such a wonderful holiday! I can’t wait for the day when I get to share the magic with my children, and look forward to years and years of the same traditions!