I have always loved to be the hostess. Whether its for a quiet night in, game night or a nice dinner party I prefer to have people over to my house. It’s not that my house is set up great to entertain (it’s not), but I just truly enjoy having people over. Am I good at it? Not necessarily, but it’s fun. That all changed when I was pregnant and especially when I had my son. For some reason I lost the desire to host things at my house. It was the dinner party that really got pushed aside. When my son was born I couldn’t even make dinner for myself let alone others. The good news is that after over a year I finally have that desire to host again. How great is that!? I’m back to being the hostess!

It kind of came out of no where. The Captain and I decided to have people over for New Years Eve. Even though we ordered in food, I brought out my china and crystal and we had a nice dinner. I lit candles and cleaned the house and it was fun! Then the next week I suggested we invite 2 couples from my Captain Awesome’s work over for dinner. This time I cooked! We did appetizers, entre (Rachel Ray’s Lazy Baked Greek Chicken)  and dessert and I loved it! The little guy was put to bed and I was able to start my night. I loved the feeling that I COULD do this.

Later that weekend I cooked dinner for the inlaws (meatballs and sauce), and again, I proved to myself that I can take care of my son, but still make things for others. I am sure for some it’s easy, but for me it all sounded so overwhelming for a while.

In the past I hosted wine tasting parties in the back yard, 80’s themed parties and murder mystery parties. It was so fun! I want to get back to doing that. Who doesn’t love a good theme party!?

My house will never be the cleanest,I will never be the best cook, and maybe someday I will have the perfect home to entertain, but I think what makes a great hostess is someone who looks forward to having the job. Most of all I like people to be comfortable. Sit back, relax and enjoy. This hostess is back….now what should I do for my next dinner party?

Last year around Christmas time I had an impromptu gathering at my home with my husbands co workers after their work Christmas party. There was no plans of having this party, but when one of the wives arrived she showed up with a beautiful Christmas ornament. I was shocked! A hostess gift! It seems that she buys things through out the year, and has them on hand when there comes a time where a little gift is warranted. What a great idea! I find that my mom does the same thing. She will see something on sale at Kohls or Target and buys it in order to give at a later date. To be honest my group of friends don’t really seem to do gifts, at least not that I’ve seen and at least not when they come to an event at my house. But to be fair I in turn have not really given hostess gifts either. People do tend to bring over wine, or alcohol when the come by…but that normally gets drank in the same evening!

I now must ask this question. Is it a generational thing? Has the art of the hostess gift gone down the tubes with my generation? Or is it just the people I know? At first I found myself leaning towards the fact that it is the people I know, because on two separate occasions I had a friend over as an overnight house guest, and both people came with a small gift. 1 with some great baked goods, and the other with a cute little candle set. But, after looking into more closely for this post, I found that most of the events I host, or attend do not warrant a hostess gift. Here is what I found on the 1800 Flowers Website. Here they are giving tips from the Emily Post Institute for Etiquette

When Should I Bring A Hostess Gift?

Cocktail party
Host and Hostess gifts are completely optional for cocktail parties. But if you’re in a generous mood, a bottle of wine or a batch of blueberry muffins for the next morning—or, for the holidays, something seasonal, like an ornament—would be thoughtful. Be sure to enclose a gift card so the host won’t wonder whose thought it was that counts.

Dinner party
Yes, bring a gift, but keep it simple and under $25. Anything that distracts the host may be a nuisance. A bottle of wine, a small potted plant, a flower arrangement already in a vase, candles, or soaps are better bets. Present the gift to your host when you arrive, or leave it on an entry way table if your host isn’t there to greet you.

Casual get together such as brunch
A gift is optional. You may choose instead to bring something to the meal—a side dish, dessert or drink. But ask: just showing up with a tray of Danish puts the host on the spot.

Overnight stay
A gift is mandatory. You can present the gift upon your arrival, during your stay, or after your exit. Consider giving your hosts something you note in the course of your visit that would be right for them, like a tray that goes with their color scheme. The longer the stay, the more expensive or elaborate the gift. For example, for a weekend stay, you may decide to send flowers. If you’ve stayed for three nights or more, a gift certificate to the host’s favorite spa or restaurant would be a good bet.

I think these are pretty cut and dry rules that we can all use as a reference. So it turns out that my friends do follow the ettiquette correctly! In the end I think it’s always nice to bring some sort of token to the hostess when you come to an event. As someone who loves being the hostess, it takes a lot of hard work and planning to put together an event, and it’s always nice to be appreciated!

In books I’ve read, and TV shows I’ve watched the main character is invited to a party in which the evening starts out with some cocktails and moves on to a dinner in which they are seated next to a random person, and over the course of dinner they find that the person they are sitting next to is actually interesting…and a contact or a relationship is made. I think that sounds so fun! Having a dinner party that puts different groups of people together that you think would mesh? I guess I don’t know enough people to actually do that, but the idea sounds fun to me. But as a consolation, I have decided to start hosting dinner parties for my friends.

I eventually would love to play the corporate wife role and have my husband’s business contacts and friends over for dinner…but I need a lot more practice before that happens! Plus, our current home can only sit 6 people around our dinner table. So that pretty much limits who I can invite. For now I will stick to cooking with my friends.

How about the dress code for a dinner party? On TV and in Movies the people always dress nice to attend a dinner party. Women in dresses and men in at least nice slacks. Now, when I have people over everyone is in jeans. Is that just how it is? Am I just a victim of the TV shows and Movies I watch? Sometimes I have to remind myself that it’s not real life…but a girl can dream right?

 I guess I can forgive the dress code for now…at this point I will focus on getting great friends together for great dinner conversation,  good food (at least I hope so) and good wine. I’m bringing back the art of the dinner party!  So who’s coming over first? Any takers?

The Death of a Dinner Party

As it turns out our table can only hold 8 people. So when I started inviting people I had to be sure that I had no more than 8 people attending the dinner party. So as I invited people, and some people declined I tried to invite others. In the end I ended up with 6 yes’s. (On a side note I find it amazing how many people wait till the last minute to give a definitive answer. Do they not realize the planning that is involved? My guess is NO! I guess this rant would be best for another post) Of those 6 people 2 of them I happen to see all the time. Therefore, as much as I love them, it’s not a big occasion to see them and catch up. So that left 3 others. Of those 3, two people cancelled at around 3:30 pm…This means that I had already cleaned the house, cooked the ziti, started carting down the table decor and was showered. I must say the two people had very valid reasons for not coming. They were sick. My dinner party was quickly falling apart. After contacting the other invitees we decided that it would be best to reschedule.

The Birth of a New Dinner Party

So where does that leave me? I had the food, I had the drink. All I needed was the people. So instead of having a total bust, I decided to make the best of it. My husband had plans to go out with his friends, so I told him to invite them over for dinner! It was 4 men and me at a dinner party. Although they told me paper plates would suffice, I set the table nicely (not with my china!). I served my spinach dip in a bread bowl, my salad, ziti and dessert. I think they really appreciated the good meal!

All in all I’m happy that I was able to hold a quasi dinner party. Certainly wasn’t the atmosphere I anticipated. I really was looking forward to some good girl time. I mean good food, good wine and good friends is a formula for a wonderful evening. We’ll reschedule (I hope!).

The good news is that I am growing as a person.  I took the whole situation with a grain of salt and didn’t bug out when plans changed. I rolled with the punches and it worked out in my favor. The night was in no way completely ruined…Just different!

My Latest Dinner Party

My latest plan is a dinner party with sorority sisters. I received my china when I registered and I am certainly the person who believes it should be used. Therefore, my dinner will be served on my wonderful china! I am very excited, and I haven’t seen some of these people in a long time. It will be great to gossip and catch up!

Dinner Party Menu

On the menu for the main course is baked ziti. My thoughts on this choice were that I can prepare it in advance, pour it into trays and just pop it in the oven when it’s time. This means there will be very little mess when my guests arrive. Here is the recipe I think I’ll use from the food network website!

http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Baked-Ziti-II/Detail.aspx

 

I will have appetizers out when people show up plus lots and lots of wine. Because what is a girls night without wine?! So in the next few days I will clean and prepare. Wish me luck!

 

 

INGREDIENTS (Nutrition)

• 1 (16 ounce) package ziti pasta
• 24 ounces ricotta cheese
• 1 pound shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1 egg, beaten
• 1 (32 ounce) jar spaghetti sauce
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS

1. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add ziti and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain and rinse.
2. In a medium bowl, mix ziti, ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, egg and 1 1/2 cups spaghetti sauce.
3. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
4. Lightly grease a 9×13 inch baking dish and spoon in ziti mixture. Top with remaining spaghetti sauce, followed by Parmesan cheese.
5. Bake in preheated oven for 30 minutes; let stand for 15 minutes before serving.

I will have appetizers out when people show up plus lots and lots of wine. Because what is a girls night without wine?! So in the next few days I will clean and prepare. Wish me luck!