I experienced a bit of a sucker punch today when I looked at the calendar and realized that January is almost over. This means that had I not had a miscarriage this past summer, I would be EXTREMELY close to my due date of February 13th. I can’t believe that it’s been almost 9 months since I conceived. Who knew this is how things would turn out?
I honestly believed that I would be pregnant by the time my original due date came around…I mean I found out that I would miscarry in July. I had no idea that it would be so hard to get pregnant this time around. But it has been hard, and it has been a long time, so that’s why it came as such a shock when I realized the date. I really thought I would have a baby in 2010, but it seems that we are almost running out of time for that dream to come true. As it stands, in a best case scenerio we are looking at October…but November and December could certainly be a reality.
It’s funny…before we began TTC I always said that I didn’t want a Christmas baby. I felt that it wasn’t fair for the child to share his/her birthday anywhere close to such a big holiday in my family….but as we are nearing what could be a Christmas baby, I realize that it doesn’t matter when that child is born. I will love it and make their birthday the most special day EVER! No matter what.
So I am wallowing a bit. But I’m allowed to right? The good news is that my mom is in town, so the two of us will keep busy. It will be comforting to have my mind on other more fun things. Don’t worry readers..I’m ok….if you read Friday’s post you know that I am enjoying life. The punch in the gut just hurt..but my breath will be back shortly.
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I completely know what you mean about the time thing. I though for sure I would have a baby BEFORE 2010 and now that isn’t looking very good. And I always SWORE I’d do whatever I can to avoid having a Dec baby cause it does suck! My birthday is the 6th, my bff the 5th, my mom the 12th, my sis the 15th oh yeah and a little thing called Christmas the 25th. But now if I get pregnant in March it will be fine by me! At least I have experience with Dec birthdays so I know how to make it great for my child
Holly @Ready2Bmom´s last blog ..Hope is Scary
I guess you just pray for a child and it doesn’t matter what month it comes right? lol That’s where I am at. I just never thought it would come to this..at this point my due date could be 1 year after my last!
hugs to you! I know how hard it is to be ttc and not getting anywhere… hoping this is your month
Big hugs! I have a friend who is having the same kind of day. Fingers crossed this is your month!
…stopping by from SITS…
Steph @ A Grande Life
Steph´s last blog ..Three down. Ninety-seven to go.
I will keep my fingers crossed for your friend too!
Sending hugs your way today. Thank you for bringing the TTC difficulties to light, so many people are unaware of the pain that takes place during this difficult time.
It’s so true! I was unaware for so long also…I think women need to know it’s not always an easy process.
I want to send a hug to you too. I hope it’s your month.
Stopping by from SITS
Danae´s last blog ..What?! More Cupcakes?!
I don’t think you have to be worried about the time the baby would be born. Babies can be earlier or later than due dates – as I understand it, those are only guesses anyway!
Jessica @ Acting Adult´s last blog ..There is a Time for Everything
Oh goodness honey, I’m sorry. Days like that are never easy. But take a deep breath and know that you are getting dozens and dozens of virtual hugs. I really hope you see some success soon!
Ashley@ Just Another Mom of 2´s last blog ..52 to Fabulous Challenge – Week 3
I am loving the virtual hugs. Thank you so much!
Days like this suck something awful. Hopefully you’ll just have to deal with this one day and not day after day after day. I know some women who light a candle for their angel babies on the day they would’ve been born, and that helps them. I’ve never had a miscarriage so I dont know the pain, but TTC for this long, we still get the bad days too.
And I think we all started with a “no christmas baby” thought, but quickly changed that as each cycle goes by.
Jin´s last blog ..Running behind
I think I’ll be alright..just was a reminder. I am pretty good at keeping my mind occupied on other things. My “no christmas baby” thought has gone right out the window!
I know from experience that days like this suck. They hurt more than anyone who has never “been there, done that” will understand. I know that nothing I can say will make it better, but I just wanted to offer up bug hugs.
Jeannie´s last blog ..30 Day Shred
Like you said..It’s hard to understand unless you’ve been there…but I guess everyone has their pesonal struggles and this one is mine…thanks for the hugs!
I’m so sorry for your loss, and I hope you’re able to conceive soon. HUGS.
Jen-I’m so sorry for your struggles. I can kinda relate as I’m ttc, but haven’t been trough the pain and tragedy of loss…so I can only sympathize. I know how it feels to be up against the deadline and to feel the eagerness, followed by disappointment and frustration.
It will happen for you but better to take your mind off of it for a bit, like you’re doing with your mom. Give yourself a break and stay positive!
I’m here if you need to talk.
Kelly
POM´s last blog ..The Pregnancy Sign Mind Game: Saturday Confessional Part 1
Thank you for your kind words. I hope your TTC journey is an easy one! I’m working on the positive part!
I think I”m getting the hang of it though!
I’m so sorry. I’ve never had a miscarriage, but I often think… had I gotten pregnant immediately, I would be having a baby this month. It’s devastating. And I am so much like you with the Christmas baby thing. My stepdaughter was born 4 days before Christmas, so I surely don’t want a December baby, but it’s getting to the point that I’ll take a baby any day of any month… just hopefully sooner than later.
well, let me tell you that i understand your pain. i was sooooo naive before i had my kids and after all my drama, i’m surprised any of them made it outta there alive! but nonetheless, it is a difficult thing to deal with, but in time, you will be better.