I experienced a bit of a sucker punch today when I looked at the calendar and realized that January is almost over. This means that had I not had a miscarriage this past summer, I would be EXTREMELY close to my due date of February 13th. I can’t believe that it’s been almost 9 months since I conceived. Who knew this is how things would turn out?
I honestly believed that I would be pregnant by the time my original due date came around…I mean I found out that I would miscarry in July. I had no idea that it would be so hard to get pregnant this time around. But it has been hard, and it has been a long time, so that’s why it came as such a shock when I realized the date. I really thought I would have a baby in 2010, but it seems that we are almost running out of time for that dream to come true. As it stands, in a best case scenerio we are looking at October…but November and December could certainly be a reality.
It’s funny…before we began TTC I always said that I didn’t want a Christmas baby. I felt that it wasn’t fair for the child to share his/her birthday anywhere close to such a big holiday in my family….but as we are nearing what could be a Christmas baby, I realize that it doesn’t matter when that child is born. I will love it and make their birthday the most special day EVER! No matter what.
So I am wallowing a bit. But I’m allowed to right? The good news is that my mom is in town, so the two of us will keep busy. It will be comforting to have my mind on other more fun things. Don’t worry readers..I’m ok….if you read Friday’s post you know that I am enjoying life. The punch in the gut just hurt..but my breath will be back shortly.